People & dudes!
How the hell are ya? Have any strange rashes lately? No? Good for you! Remember, don’t be silly, cover your willy.
As you can see, I’m new here, but I am feeling right at home amidst all the fart jokes and drinking and stale french fries in the couch cushions.
It’s a comfortable place to be, in this glorious, judge-free zone.
I feel a little like Maria Von Trapp on one of those big ass Austrian mountain tops, freely twirling around with my arms flailing about.
Except I don’t have a mountain, I have a blog. It’s a exquisite blog chock full of sexy, strong, vivacious women (and one dude) who have joined forces to give all of you warm fuzzies and hi-fives & a strong tingling sensation in your crotchal region. (Don’t pretend that you don’t love a good crotchal tingling).
In keeping with Aiming Low’s long tradition of semi-excellence, I shall commit to showing your eyeballs stupid shit on the internet.
I promise to always keep it real, even if it means talking about my love affair with Little Debbies or sharing my woeful tales of bacne.
I vow to always remain true to my authentic self- which means you may or may not hear about my lactating nipples even though I haven’t breast fed anyone or anything in many many moons.
I pledge my fingers to type words that will seep deep into your soul. Those words will probably include: douchelord, dipshit or poontang platter.
I cannot guarantee that reading this will make you a better person, but it might make you shart in your yoga pants or shoot Boone’s Farm out of your nose. After all, if you’re not laughing, you’re not living.
I swear to be uncouth and nothing but uncouth, so help me God.
And because it would feel weird to not incorporate some sort of visual stimulation, I am including a couple of my newest faceinhole.com Christmas themed creations. Feel free to grab them for your screen saver or wallpaper.
That precious face on the right is mine.
Not just any booze though. I have SOME standards, y'all.
I just need to say, I’m super honored to be a part of this fantastic clusterfudge of bloggers, past and present. Vive la Aiming Low!
About Robin Plemmons
I will hear your voice in my head ALL DAY talking about my crotchal region. Thanks. I needed that.
Do you need me to call you several times today & talk about your crotch? Because I totally will.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
I think you know where to find me. Let’s just say it’s easy to find me because I AM YOUR STALKER. And damn proud.
And I think I speak for all of the readers when I say we’re super glad to have you. Also, I think douchelord is my new favourite word. I may even make it my ‘Word of the Holidays’.
Twitter Name: jaynecrammond
Jayne- thanks so much! Douche lord is a fantastic word. So is douche canoe. I make it a point to use them as much as possible. Makes me sound extra smart.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
You’re my favorite douchelord.
Twitter Name: nicholee
Well, you’re my favoritest dipshit of all time, Nichole. xo
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
I hear that they have ointments for the tingling sensation in the crotchal region….*snort*
Twitter Name: DExtraordinaire
I’m just going to assume that you’re speaking from experience. You should share with us what your favorite crotch ointment is. You know, just in case someone might need to know.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
I can’t speak from personal experience, but I do watch commercials and those chicks on the beach are always talking about their tingling crotchal regions.
Twitter Name: DExtraordinaire
Can’t wait to read more from you!
thanks Ella! I’m a little scared of what I might do & say.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
I love YOU, dude.
Twitter Name: alotofnothing
Angie, this dude loves you back. Several times over. I owe it all to your persistent stalking.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
Love you, love your show!
LaDawn- you mean my shit show, right?
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
Your words are like magical pudding. …just saying this is the start of something good and pudding y. Love ya
Derek, my large friend- I will try to keep it good & pudding-y. OMG, can you tattoo “magical pudding” on my chest? Please say yes.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
You rule.
I’m sorry, but you are the ukelele rockstar. So, technically YOU are the one that rules the most, Ami. (go check her out. pure awesome: http://www.themadteaparty.com )
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
How did I not know about faceinhole.com? What is WRONG with me?!
Twitter Name: mommygeekology
I’m a total faceinhole addict. The addiction evidence is here: http://ow.ly/3jBUo
I think putting my husband’s face in Flubber’s hole is my very favorite.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
You crack me up I love you for it! ever since I met you at Type A Mom you have been making me laugh.
Twitter Name: craftymamaof4
Hey Kim! It’s good to see your face even if it is in a tiny box!
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
I just found you today. I am never leaving.
tori- If you ever leave, I will cry for like, 17 hours.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
what I would have given to have sat across from my ex in a mediation session and called him a douchelord. Where the fuck were you six years ago?
Robin- I’m so glad I found this! HORSE!
P.S. Your my new favorite douchelord!