I need to ignore the small yogurt handprint on my shoulder & the crayon marks on the wall.
I need to let loose for a second & breathe heavily.
I need to let my boobs flop out of my bra.
I need to whip my g-dang hair back & forth.
I need some mother freakin’ DANCE THERAPY, y’all.
Who’s with me? I see you raising your hand over there. It’s time to unearth your inner Sasha Fierce.
I’m going to help you do that right now.
All you have to do is let your inhibitions go, pump up the volume & keep clicking play, baby.
You can’t deny the twist. Jack White will do that to you.
Good lord, this song is so saxy! Get it? I said that cause she’s like, playing a saxophone in a bikini. (Whenever I hear this tune, I think of my freshman Algebra class & that Chinese dude named Johnny mouthing the words to me from across the room. And then I die inside a little, all over again).
Alright, I’ll admit it- this one is slightly annoying & is most likely Snooki’s ringtone but I kinda like it.
(P.S. It’s more fun if you imagine they’re saying “cheese dick” instead of G-6). Try it. You’ll like it.
This song makes me want to gyrate so hard my clothes rip apart & fall off of my body. In fact, that just happened. I am now naked. Omg, are you picturing me nude? That’s weird (& way more awesome that you can imagine).
You’ll actually want to watch this video. So cease your wild ways & witness as Tyler dances around his NYC apartment in his man panties to Beyonce. Bonus points if you learn the choreography. My favorite move is 30 seconds into it.
And there you have it! All the benefits of going clubbing without having to worry about some dude trying to grind his nasty weiner on your hind quarters.
I hope you feel refreshed, invigorated & saxy. At the very least, you worked some cardio into your day & made your brain happy (or gaggy) by visualizing me in my birthday suit!
About Robin Plemmons
And rocking out is EXTRA awesome when you can do it around your cringing daughter and at least one of her friends.
Twitter Name: DTKMMeLookCrazy
Oh, I’m sure she would LOVE that. Especially if you start singing along to the “cheese dick” song.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
Yes!
I’m totally going to follow your instructions and dance my ass off. I’m already tried, THANKS A LOT!
Julia- you totally should. Steal a moment alone, close your eyes & let those phat beats take away all your cares foreverrrr. Well, at least for 15 minutes.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
Yes … yes… yes … I am picturing you naked …
Well. Now that THAT’S over, not all wieners are nasty. I know. I own one – and it ain’t nasty at all.
Twitter Name: lceel
I was generalizing. Weiners at sketchy clubs are generally nasty. I’m sure yours is awesome & non-nasty.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
I know that everyone can’t help but dance when *I* play saxophone in a bikini.
Twitter Name: mommygeekology
You should see me in my granny panties playing my tuba. Is HOT.
Twitter Name: izzymom
that was pure awesomness!!! you must have just lost your mind!
I’m likin’ the “cheese dick” option!!! Too funny
I do this sort of thing to get rid of the neighbor kids. Their parents give me funny looks at the bus stop for some reason, but I’m pretty sure these are unrelated occurrences.
Twitter Name: Ronald Mattocks
For the record, all I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom and a-boom-boom.
Twitter Name: betadad
This made my day! Especially the guy dancing in his manties! I do that daily to the Rhianna song (it is far too catchy for its own good) in fact while I get ready for my day :) Now I’ll listen to some of these awesome tracks. I love your posts!
OMG I LOVE the Cheese Dick option, it’s my new favorite thing! Finally catching up on my reading and Rossy love you seem to have found a perfect new home!!!!!