You should know this about me: I like crappy movies. Seriously, I enjoy them. My favorite movie to watch in the afternoons when I sick or sleepy? Ready? Cause it’s BAD. Really BAD. Roadhouse. Yes, the movie where Patrick Swayze plays a “bouncer” with a perfect mullet and gorgeous dance moves that pretend to be fighting. I LOVE IT.
So. Knowing that about me, it won’t shock you at all to know that I was eager to see the movie Burlesque, the vehicle starring Cher as the owner of a modern Burlesque Hall and Christine Aguelira as her protégé. The previews indicated that there would be loads of big dance numbers, drama, and many, many chances to ogle Cher’s most recent plastic surgery.
Sadly, I almost missed it in the theaters due to my awesome life combination of work and poverty, but thanks to my Twitter Secret Santa who gave me movie bucks, I got to sneak out yesterday and see it.
It was awesome.
Trust me, it has its weak points: it’s a bit too long, Christine Aguilera is a mediocre actress at best, and both she and Cher spend much of the movie looking like drag queens (although, for me, that was even more of a delight), but Stanley Tucci brings the perfect touch of “real” acting to the film, and overall, it’s fucking fabulous.
My only real complaint is this: Cher should no longer be allowed to cry on screen, because honestly, if your face can’t move at ALL, crying just looks like someone threw a drink in your face. Just a little critique there, Cher.
Otherwise, the music was FANTASTIC, the dancing straight up Bob Fosey delicious, and the silliness of the plot had just the right amount of necessary elements (romance, financial strife, robbery) to not make the dance numbers seem awkward and annoying. No one just burst into song like in a musical, it’s all in the name of the business, and it’s wonderful (not that I don’t like a good musical now and then, I just like context to my singing).
If you’d like something to compare it to, here you go: this movie is the exact midpoint between Coyote Ugly and Chicago. So there you go.
It’s the best “chick” flick I’ve seen in a while, and frankly kicks the ass of Sex and the City 2 all over town (OH MY GOD, if I could PAY someone to scrub that fucking movie out of my brain, I would; it ruined the whole god damned series for me).
Cecily says this movie rates a medium popcorn, with butter, milk duds, and a diet coke.
SPONSORED CONTENT: These lines include a link about beauty and plastic surgery. We hope this is to you best benefit.
About Cecily Kellogg
My question is- did you get to see any nipples?
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
I freaking loved that movie. I’d even go back and see it again.
Twitter Name: Janie Snelson
So I have never seen the Sex in the City movies and we seem to have similar movie tastes so I am not ever going to see those and I will look for Burlesque when it hits Netflix.
Twitter Name: DExtraordinaire
I will be adding this to my netflix queue immediately. But for the record, Roadhouse is one of the finest movies EVER. Right up there with Citizen Kane.
Twitter Name: chickybaby
Robin, no nipples. However, it was gratifying to see Christine’s obviously-used-to-breastfeed boobs in one scene where she had no bra on. I don’t really know why. But it made me like her.
Janie, I’d see it again. For sure.
Heather, the FIRST Sex & the City movie is really good, actually. It’s just the second one. Never, ever see it.
Chicky Baby, so true. I knew I liked you.
Oh god, I NEED to see this film! The trouble is, I have an icebergs chance in hell of getting my husband to go and see it with me, and I don’t think it’s spectacular enough to be the first film I go to alone.
Also, totally agree about SATC2. I loved the series’, I loved the first film. The second film? Made me feel dirty and a little confused. I’m hoping they don’t fuck it up even further in the third.
Happy New Year!
Twitter Name: jaynecrammond
They better not make a SATC 3. I do NOT want to watch Samantha as a horny senior citizen.
Twitter Name: izzymom
The ultimate test of a musical’s staying power is if all the fourteen year old girls on canoe trips at summer camps around the nation sing all the words to every song every day. Or until their trip leaders’ ears bleed.
Wait, what? Chicago and Coyote Ugly are bad movies? Huh.
Twitter Name: therealneeroc
Will have to catch on DVD, no one appropriate to go with!
i loved it, too. i don’t even care about cher or christina aquilera, so i was a little surprised. :)
I totally saw it. I LOVE movies like that. I’m pretty sure in my next life, I’m going live inside a musical. Like, permanently. And I’ll have an awesome voice, so I’ll be the starring role that gets to wear all the cool costumes.
I also love One Tree Hill. It’s my secret shame and unrelated to this conversation, but I’m in a confessional mood and we’re all best friends, right?
Twitter Name: DTKMMeLookCrazy
I’ve been meaning to start watching OTH from the beginning but somehow I got sucked into Friday Night Lights (have I mentioned I don’t like football?) instead. Taylor Kitsch’s complete and utter hotness makes Texas small town high school football lunacy totally tolerable.
Twitter Name: izzymom
I love Cher, Christina and Coyote Ugly…Need I say more?
Twitter Name: lotsospermies
Christina has all the makings of a new Charro. A Charro in a bottle.
Twitter Name: annsrants
OMG We were separated at birth. Clearly. I love Coyote Ugly and Chicago. I adored (read OWN) Sex and the City the first movie, and was so disappointed in Sex and the City 2 I almost cried.
So, next weekend, when I have no children, (and now, no boyfriend) I will be finding my way into a darkened theater to get lost in the gloriousness of Burlesque.
Thank you
Twitter Name: msbatman
I share the affliction for bad taste in movies. Loved Coyote Ugly, hated Sex 2. You should check out the classic Patrick Swayze in “Too Wong Foo, Good Bye Julie Newmar”.
I think I tarried too long to see Burlesque, maybe it’ll be on demand soon.
Twitter Name: sasstown
“Along Came Polly” was my intro to this quirk of yours, Julia. Gah! I thought. Is this for real? Dreadful! but the company was worth it, mostly. You, Pat, Kathy? maybe, and me. Love ya anyhow!
Twitter Name: Leslie Modena
Damn. Wish I’d seen Burlesque instead of the horrific Black Swan. That’s 90 minutes of my life I’d rather have spent doing, well, just about ANYTHING.
Twitter Name: izzymom
I know I’m alone in the world when all the OTHER MOMS took their kids to see Untangled, and I took my 11 yo son to see Burlesque cuz he has a huge thing (well, notso huge as he’s just 11…) for Christina. Who doesn’t? Love that girl’s voice. Cher? She needs to stop. All of it. I want to love her, but it’s practically impossible. Stanley? Fanfuckingtastic. Worth the ticket price, altho my boy has no one to talk to at the lunch table about his cinematic experience. Tron? No thx.
Twitter Name: returntoworkmom