The Baby’s Head and The People Who Believe

I was a stay at home, contract work mom when my son was born in 1999. It was a blissful time of just enough work to force me remove the spit up clothing that consisted of stretched out (never used for yoga) yoga pants and shower a couple of times a week. I had a semi-clean house, my son was seemingly healthy and he needs were normal. I enjoyed a little bit of work with a couple of clients and lunches with friends where I carted around my You Tote’m Baby.

Blissful times, indeed.

Except my beautiful, easy (so far from the truth now) son was annoying to bathe. Massive screaming and wiggling in our kitchen sink, water everywhere. Turns out babies are slippery as often happens with the mix of fresh skin, soap and UNSKILLED hands. He’s now 11 and I’m still surprised I didn’t drop his skinny little ass on the floor.

If you knew me you would grab me by the shoulders, shake me and say, “Girl, thank God you didn’t drop his skinny little ass on the floor because you have enough problems.”

Bathing him wasn’t a total loss. Many times with him wrapped in my arms in a towel to keep him from peeing directly on me to add to the aroma of spit up, I lovingly threw a kitchen towel on the tile floor to swirl around baby soap and water with one foot. I could hardly stand my brilliance! I’d just bathed the baby and cleaned the floor at the same time. Well, that didn’t happen very often (the brilliance or the bathing). The accessories needed to bathe him and his pissed-off attitude were too much trouble.

In between the extended periods of bathing (and floor cleaning) I would apply a little baby lotion on the head of my cute, sweaty-throw-up-smelling baby, rub it around and be on my way. One thing I know to be true: the head is the only thing people smell on a baby when they snuggle up with them in their arms. I’d hand over my baby to anxious relatives and friends to hold. They’d take a whiff, pause and smile.

“Mmmm…I just love the smell of a baby.”

It totally worked. Suckers!