Of course I know that I’m supposed to want to take care of myself.
That’s why I get annoyed when well meaning people (read: mother) incessantly tell me I need to take care of myself.
I.KNOW.UGH.GAWD.
What mom doesn’t want to accept people don’t know, is that I’m in the midst of a full on battle for supremacy of myself… with myself.
Me: Ugh… I am so tired and achy, maybe we need vitamins, maybe we should have a salad for lunch.
Also Me: DOHHHH-NUT!!
Me: It’s nice out. Maybe I should go for a walk today.
Also Me: TEE-VEEE… ANNNNND COUCH… FOR.HOURS.
Me: Let’s make the world a better place while releasing inner tension through creativity and writing…
Also Me: GOOOOOGLE RANDOM SH-III-TT…ANND RESEARCH TWITTER DRAMA!!
For me, this battle simply represents the struggle between what I want to do and what I should do.
Please, Pollyanna, don’t tell me that “what I want to do” and “what I should do” always have to be the same thing. I have a house, I have children, I have a husband. I, like a lot grown ups, can go for hours doing shit I don’t want to do.
I do not want to pay bills. I do not want to wipe anyone’s butt. I do not want to wave at my horrible neighbor who lets her dog take a crap on my lawn without so much as carrying around a bag to clean up after him. I do not even want to brush my teeth every single day.
But I do that stuff.
Mostly because paying bills, whiffing fresh smelling baby butts, having neighbors who don’t want to burn your house down because you’ve flipped them off one too many times and not having friends hand you Tic Tacs every five minutes benefits me in the long run.
It’s also worth mentioning that if those things aren’t done, they indirectly have the potential to make me uncomfortable if left unattended. Like, say, the teeth brushing. I cringe at the thought.
But.
Doing stuff that I should do just for myself just because a few years down the road I’m might get something out of it?
I don’t know. Donuts just taste better than self righteousness, I guess. The good news is that I’m a problem solver, and have finally figured out how to handle this dilemma.
I’m going to make a grab bag of goodness.
First, I’m going to take seven index cards and write down seven things that I should be doing for myself. Things that I know I should do, but stuff that “Also Me” is going to talk me out of it with her poignant use of the caps lock button.
And, then, I’m going to light that bag on fire.
No, okay, I’m not going to light it on fire.
I’m actually going to pick JUST one of those seven index cards and do that thing just ONCE this week.
Yes, mom, just.once…this.week…no, not every day….and, no, I may not ever do it again. Ever.
I’m curious and lack creativity when it comes to identifying acts of self preservation, so tell me… what would you put on your index cards?
About Faiqa Khan
all of my cards say DOHHH-NUT & GOOOOOGLE SHIIIT & waste time on faceinhole.com.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
Me: Do not google faceinhole.com
Also Me : WHAT IS FAAACEINHOOOLEDOTCAAAWM….
Twitter Name: Faiqa
you haven’t lived until you’ve been face-in-holed by robin plemmons. she’s done me several times. she’s so good, i needed some weed after.
Twitter Name: alotofnothing
I look forward to it.
Twitter Name: Faiqa
You’re looking for things you should do that are good for you?
Go for a walk.
Drink water.
Eat a meal made from proteins and vegetables.
Stretch.
Go outside for any reason.
Twitter Name: missbritt
You are so preachy. I said what would YOU put on the cards… for YOU. You are just like my mom, she said for the four thousandth time.
Twitter Name: Faiqa
Hey, asshole, those ARE all things *I* would put on my cards.
Twitter Name: missbritt
That’s EXACTLY what my mom would say.
Twitter Name: Faiqa
1. Meditate. This is a skill I really need to learn, but I never make the time. It can cure a world of ills.
2. Get my butt to yoga regularly. I want to, but I think I’m going to have to find an afternoon class or something so I can go right after work because once I’m home for the night I’m pretty much done.
Twitter Name: msmegan
Those are on my list, too!! I love the benefits of meditating, but actually doing it… so painful… so many voices in my head… talking about DOHHHNUTS. ;-)
Twitter Name: Faiqa
Nap.
Rest.
Sleep.
Sit in a quiet room.
In THAT order.
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
Agreed. The thought of it actually brings a tears of joy to my eyes…
Twitter Name: Faiqa
Go to bed earlier.
Read more.
Find a healthy outlet for your stresses and anxieties that don’t include sugar, fat or alcohol.
(I’m not hopeful about that last one.)
Twitter Name: chickybaby
That last one is just crazy talk.
Twitter Name: Faiqa
All seven of my cards would say, in massive red letters:
“REMEMBER TO TAKE YOUR MEDICATION. YOU ARE A DIABETIC WITH AN UNDERACTIVE THYROID AND DO NOT WANT TO SLIP INTO A COMA”.
That is all.
Twitter Name: jaynecrammond
Am I bad person because I laughed REALLY hard at that?
Twitter Name: Faiqa
No, not at all, I laugh at my own stupidity ALL the time. My Mum, on the other hand? I think I’m largely responsible for any grey hair that she has.
Twitter Name: jaynecrammond
I hear you 1000% on this one!!
My list would include:
1) Go to the fitness room AT MY WORK, 30 FEET DOWN THE HALL, at least once a week and jog on treadmill for a measly 20 minutes.
2) Meditate. My problem? I think it’s really boring.
3) Go to bed earlier
4) Stop eating snacks at night, especially of the brownie & ice cream variety.
5) Play more piano.
Twitter Name: lucynamackay
Yeah, I had a treadmill… in my HOUSE. All I had to do was walk up ten steps to get to it. Someone should start a Humane Society for Treadmills. They can go from being ignored in YOUR house to being ignored in someone else’s house…
Twitter Name: Faiqa
Meditating and yoga are on my list too. I’ve given up on finding a yoga DVD I like, so now I need to hunt down a class. And then figure out how to squeeze it in my 6-day a week workout schedule.
Twitter Name: ellemmes
I think there’s something about the energy of just the right class, you know?
Twitter Name: Faiqa
1. More Angry Birds
2. Order more pizza, cook less.
3. Amazon delivers presents right?
4. Walk to Starbucks (which is across the street) instead of driving.
5. Red wine: it’s good for your arteries. Trust me, I’m a nurse.
6. Speak in more coherent sentences
7. Give more love…there’s never enough of that.
Twitter Name: mommahopeful
Number 7 FTW.
Twitter Name: Faiqa
You mean we are supposed to do things for ourselves? I guess mine would have one card in the bag “Think of six more things you need to do for yourself, STAT”
Twitter Name: DExtraordinaire
Ha… awesome. And, YES.
Twitter Name: Faiqa
I’m trying to undertake this whole “it’s okay to be ‘selfish’ and take care of yourself FIRST” thing and damn is it hard! Let’s see…
1. Read more (not just over breakfast/before bed)
2. Eat more (dark because it’s good for me and therefore 100% excusable) chocolate
3. Laugh
4. Take a bubble bath
5. Paint my nails
6. Watch an old favourite movie
7. Go wander the mall. By myself. With no list of errands/things to buy. Just to look. And covet.
Twitter Name: chibijeebs
I haven’t been to the mall to “wander” in five years. Sigh. That sounds really nice.
Twitter Name: Faiqa
My cards would say stuff like:
FIND PIE
EAT PIE
GO FOR WALK
AFTER LONG NAP, OF COURSE
REMEMBER TO WAKE UP
FORGET WALK
FIND PIE
Twitter Name: izzymom
I’m sensing that pie is something of a priority for you. I know. People say I’m a genius because it’s true.
Twitter Name: Faiqa
Pie…it’s the new cupcake. You heard it here first. Or not. Either way, the holiday seasons reignite mah love of pie for a few months and then I ignore it the rest of the year in favor of cookies. GO PIE!
Twitter Name: Izzymom
I have this list that follows me around daily and I want to burn it b/c I never ever cross anything off of it and yet, I can’t let it go.
Heh… I’m smiling because about two months ago, I got all ambitious and programmed my Google Calendar to send reminders to me on my phone to do all this stuff. I’ve been too lazy to deprogram the notifications, so now… my phone is just a big nag. It’s like your list, only more techie.
Twitter Name: Faiqa