I worry a lot about food.
But not in the way you’d think.
I worry that I’ll run out and still be hungry.
But again, not in the traditional way you’d worry about running out of food.
I worry that I haven’t ordered enough.
So I order more than anyone could possibly eat.
Because only then do I know FOR SURE that I’ll have enough.
And then of course I have to eat all of it even though I’m stuffed because I was raised to never waste food.
My mom always said, “You know there are kids in Africa who are starving, right?”
So I would eat everything on my plate and I would do it for all the starving Africans, even though *me* eating the food in no way helped them. And somehow it made perfect sense to me. (I don’t think anyone would ever mistake me for a genius)
This probably also explains why I’ve always had food issues. And by that I mean I love food. I’m more about quantity than quality.
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the waiter, “Would a linebacker be satisfied with this entree?” He laughs like I’m kidding and I’m all “No, dude. I’m serious.”
Also, I make suggestions to my kids on what they should order. “You want butter noodles? Are you sure you don’t want spaghetti and meatballs with extra marinara? Because I think I, er, you, would like that better.”
Usually that works. Which is awesome because it takes the pressure off me when I’m ordering. I know that I can finish my plate and then move on to theirs. And everything is right with the world.
The only problem with this plan is I’m worried I’m eating all the food that would normally be shipped to starving African children.
I think there might be something seriously wrong with me.
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I have a similar issue: I don’t like to get hungry, so I always carry food with me. I call it my Emergency Food: A pack of crackers in my purse, a granola bar in the car. Oh, and I think about food and plan my eating throughout the day, so I don’t GET hungry. And I think I am passing this particular issue onto my children, too. The oldest, who DRIVES now, was cleaning out her car the other day, and she brought in a little bag that I assumed was trash. Wrong! Emergency food, straight from her car. What have I done?
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
July 26, 2010 at 9:11 am
I don’t think Graham has yet realized the future possibilities when it comes to finishing Nate’s food in restaurants. I’m not gonna tell him, yet.
I need to know how you do that and stay so tiny and cute. I can’t do that at all. I’m still dragging around at least twenty extra pounds or so. I *wish* I could get rid of it, but bread is just so damn good…
Twitter: alotofnothing
July 26, 2010 at 9:59 am
I swear you have an empty wooden leg where you store all the food you eat.
Are you a pirate?
Twitter: mommylisa
July 26, 2010 at 11:01 am
when I was pregnant I had food in my car and purse at all times! I was starving always. Now? A few things in the purse for my kid.
i was told the same thing about the children starving in africa!! you must always clear your plate. i tell mine “there are starving children that would be happy to eat what you didn’t finish on your plate!!” she responds “ok. you can send it to them!!”
If the waiter brings my plate and it looks skimpy, I am always a little offended annoyed.
My parents used to tell me the starving children in Africa thing and would make me finish everything on my plate (and I was a super-obedient child), and now I have huge issues with food and my weight. Don’t get me started. They didn’t do that with my sister – she was the opposite of me and REFUSED to finish her meals when they tried it – and she has no food issues and is a very healthy weight.
The lesson? Don’t force food on your kids! Their bodies tell them when they’ve had enough. If you have to force them to finish the meal, it’s because there’s too much on their plate to begin with. If you’re so concerned about the starving children in Africa, you can finish your child’s meal for them.
My parents did the whole “there are starving children in Africa” routine too! It is so ingrained in me to clean my plate now that I did it in the hospital after my c-section…and lost it all about 5 minutes later. Apparently I wasn’t supposed to clean my plate…this is a new concept to me.
Twitter: IamThePeachy1
August 2, 2010 at 8:28 pm
I did that my entire life, inducing the finishing the kids food part. Until about 11 years ago when I wasn’t even 1/3 of the way full of my order and I said I am so full. My husband said yeah it was good. I looked at him and said well we can’t just leave it, we ordered it. He said, you pay for a meal you eat what tastes great and your done. There are no requirements further than that. If we pay $55 for a steak and you eat 1/2 and that 1/2 was delicious and wonderful then you got your money’s worth. So I haven’t finished a plate of food in over 11 years, even at home. We either box it for later/next day or feed it to the dogs. No more pressure. I love it.
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