This was the post that made me fall in love with Allie over at Hyperbole and a Half. This was the post that turned the night of March 15th into the biggest timesuck in the history of me, because it was spent stalking poor Allie’s archives. And then I shared my love with the rest of the Aiming Low team and they were all, “OH MY GOD, I want to hump her a little bit too!” We have good taste in reading material over here, folks. We are honored that Allie agreed to be a part of our Three Day Weekend. We love her, and we know you will too. Also, you will probably want to eat some pie. ~Ali
I love cake. Cake is wonderful. But it is too easy to get caught up in the idea of cake. When you compare the data, it is clear that pie is a better choice.
1. Ability of enjoyment to be sustained over time
The first few mouthfuls of cake are almost magical, but as eating continues, enjoyment drops off precipitously. The enjoyment curve for pie appears to be much more stable over time.
2. Unequal frosting distribution is a problem
Pie exhibits much greater homogeneity than cake. In cake, the highest concentration of awesomeness is found in the frosting. The act of decorating a cake can polarize it and cause a dangerously uneven distribution of frosting, leading to discord and animosity during serving time.
3. Pie appears to contain a greater relative volume of enjoyable substances.
4. Pie is more scientifically versatile:
5. Pie is relevant in a greater variety of situations:
Cake is appropriate in a very limited number of situations, whereas almost any day is a great day to have pie.
6. Cake has much more severe, longer lasting consequences than pie:
UPDATE: It’s too early to tell whether this hybridization is the best idea ever or just dangerous and foolish:
Most likely it will either solve all the problems in the world or end humanity in a hyperglycemic blaze of glory.
About Guest Writer
I have an answer for you. It’s a one word answer. That answer is: Cupcake. It’s shaped like a pie, tastes like a cake. Each cupcake could have a rose and adequate frosting, if you so desired. There’s also never too much cake or frosting per cupcake. Problem solved.
What kind of pies are shaped like a cupcake??
-__- its round
so is a penny
So is my testicle.
i lold. made reading through these boring comments worthwhile.
tysm
People please,
There is no way in hell that pie can compare to the sublime awesomeness that is a wonderful piece of cake… i seriously disagree with the cake/pie appropriateness diagram… CAKE IS ALWAYS APPROPRIATE!!!!!
lol
this was quite enjoyable to read though misinformed however, i feel you about the frosting distribution, thats why u need to be there 1st.
You are a fool who knows nothing of sweet treats. Burn in hell.
For real. Fuck cake
For real. Fuck you Mike and Dashi cake is great. Fuck Pie
you’re entitled to your opinion. wrong as it is.
Cake sucks…..its just easy to serve a lot of people with cake because it is cheap, like prison food.
How can you say cake is cheaper than pie? How good of a cake can you get for 6 or 7 bucks? Not very good…Now go and look at pies…6 or 7 bucks will buy a damn good PIE!
Twitter Name: mike wolfe
Where are you getting a 6 dollar pie buddy? Even at Cocos ( a shitty ass restaurant) pies start at 9.99. And with a cake, they serve way more people for less money…of course a cake is cheaper, its bread a sugar…thats it. The expensive cakes you are talking about are what? 25$ and feed 40 fuckin people.
Fuck it. Cake and pie are awesome. Put it that way.
You forgot one thing. You can put a stripper in a cake. That alone makes it superior.
WRONG, you can put a stripper IN a cake, not ON a cake, make your argument pointless.
…What?
I kind of agree, although a cake can be round too, giving it equal distribution, like a cheesecake for example. A pie can be a lot like a cake sometimes, so I think pie would ultimately be better.
Cheesecake is a PIE. It is only called CheeseCAKE because CheesePIE doesn’t appeal to it’s sweet substance. CAKE is really only classified by the fact that it has NO CRUST.
A cheesecake is not actually a cake, so “like a cheesecake” means nothing, since it is actually a pie. cake=flour, eggs, sugar and frosting: Pie=crust filled with something delicious like fruit, nuts,or cheese…like a cheesepie.
Touché, my anal retentive friends…lmao CHEESEPIE!!!! Awesome.
Um, never heard of a christmas cake? Also a wedding pie would not really go down well.
asides from that and some other minor things this is fairly accurate. Kudos!
Wedding’s have cakes because its traditional….Also because a huge cake is cheap. Granted the markup on a huge wedding cake is like a million percent. It would be EXTREMELY expensive to make a nice looking massive pie to serve 200 people.
There is a Christmas cake. It’s called a Buche de Noel, or Yule Log. Or were you trying to say that there is indeed such thing as a Christmas cake?
That was indeed what they said. “Never heard of a Christmas cake” means “There is such a thing as a Christmas cake, have you never heard of it?”. There’s also a tradition in England of cakes other than Yule Logs, such as http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/christmascake_2359 and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_pudding which is quite cake-like.
Hybrid=bad idea. Speaking as one who once tried to make a capie, I’m pretty sure the world would explode in a sugary mess.
Actually I did make a Pike one time (Pie Cake). Basicially, made the pie crust out of chocolate cake, filled it with cherry pie filling, then slathered it in chocolate icing. It was the most delicious dessert ever.
Where do cupcakes fit in here? …cup-pie?
and muffins
donuts
apple/bananabread/pumpkin bread
pie flavored cake…or vice versa
you’ve all just been stumbled upon
cake=cupcake, no difference, muffins have no frosting, so it is a fancy bread, not a cake, dougnuts are fried so not a cake, your list of breads=muffins=mediocre at best with butter. No such thing as a pie flavored cake. If you say cheesecake, i will punch you in the neck.
cheesecake
MMMmmmmmmmpie. Cake is for people who eat their feelings/little kids who have terrible parents. Pie is for nom.
Helloooooo, Pie for breafast !
if there are candles in a cake it’s someones birthday if there are candles in a pie grandmas drunk in the kitchen. i am pro cake forever. pie is just liquid cake.
JIM GAFFIGAN! YAY!!!! Stripper in a pie is too messy….. I’m here! Go take a shower :D I think i love both of them. i believe in a bond of equality between the two
Twitter Name: TheMasterPhotog
Granted singing happy birthday with candles in a pie would piss me off. Cake sucks to eat, which is its main purpose. If you like cake instead of pie, that means you are either poor now, or you grew up poor, so you cant afford pies. Cake sucks.
Cookie cake covered in icing…..filled with delicious stuff!
… cheese cake
Again…cheese cake is a pie, not a cake. Cheesecakes don’t have frosting or any bread/flour and they have a crust. If your eating desert that has crust…=pie.
The only reason that pie is usually better than cake is that it is more often (at least partially) home made.
From scratch cake or pie will explode your eyeballs.
You’ve all forgotten that the cake is a lie
Well, save me a place in the humping line. I’ll be there…right after I finish this pie made of cake.
Pie’s versatility can extend to the realm of meat and vegetables, in the form of Chicken Pot Pie (sometimes turkey or beef too!).
As for cheesecake, arguably the greatest dessert of all time, it is a misnomer. Cheesepie just doesn’t roll of the tongue as well, but we all know that it is pie.
3.1415926
This is by Allie Brosh from hyperboleandahalf.com … I’m sure she’d appreciate you citing her work =)
They did, darling. I’m sure thepeople who posted this article would appreciate you reading everything on the page.
great like it
htt://pdbusinesssolution.com
Well well well. Clearly ‘Allie’ does not understand the fact that Cake is the ultimate truth. The popular phrases ‘wincakes’ and ‘failpie’ are testament to the quality of each. What follows is a thesis of criticisms to the above slander.
1. This point is entirely relative. Indeed, an over the top chocolate cake can be difficult to enjoy after several slices, but there are many varieties of cake. A light victoria sponge can be enjoyed to an equal level, if not a higher one, than pie. Both are foods and both are filling – it is up to you which type you choose.
2. This can be dismissed as entirely irrelevant. In the example given, the four ‘frosting roses’ present are quite an attraction, but the strength of this argument carries little weight past this specific example. Cakes can come with many different types of icing distribution, they are in no way limited to a few large pieces of frosting. Another point is that these pieces are superfluous to the main portion of sponge – slices of pie may be equal, but they have no extra parts to the main pie body. The fact that there is frosting present at all makes cake superior to pie.
3. This is ludicrous. “WTF is this part?”? That is called sponge. To the common layman, it is cake. Bias is clearly present here as the author chooses to make the smaller part of the cake the supposedly ‘good’ part, and the biggest section of the pie the respective superior section. The skill of the baker and the entire flavour of the cake is present in the sponge. Disregarding it is the sign of someone who is no way qualified to make a scientific study of such an argument.
4. I have never heard of anybody receiving pie for their birthday celebrations. I am fully ready to admit this could be ignorance on my part, but unfortunately, it turns out to be accurate. Retailers market cakes for birthdays, and several other important events. It is well known publically that cake is usually chosen on birthdays and weddings, but pie? It is sold as a general meal and dessert, amongst the hundreds of items for sale in the food market. Pie is certainly nowhere near equal in terms of birthdays, and I was lead to believe sweets were the dominant food item on halloween. Christmas even has the dish named specially – ‘Christmas Cake’ is the fruitcake traditionally served by most households. Pie? Not even considered.
5. Again, this is relative. What pie is this graph based on? Aside from the fact the health of both items is hardly important in a discussion such as this, pies can be much worse in terms of saturated fats than cake.The popular phrase ‘Who ate all the pies?’ is evidence for this – most likely the author of this article.
To conclude, there is little merit to any of the arguments presented here. Most of them are immature and misinformed. Both dishes are versatile in different applications, but cake is more popularly used for important occasions and is far more fitting for a dessert – it is sweeter, more flavoursome and the sponge is generally more appropriate for a dessert than pastry and a select filling. If we consider the equation ‘Hydrogen + time = cake’, it becomes clear that cake is the choice to make.
But…the cake is a lie.
Chill out, Dickens.
Whoa… That was a lot of work to type something most likely no one read… But hey, kudos on the passion for the cake v. pie debate.
Twitter Name: fiercetyper
Seriously this is just supposed to be a joke. I can’t believe you have so little to do with your time than to get a tree up your ass and analyze a goofy cartoon. Stop and smell the roses.
Oh and pie is far superior and I have a birthday pie every year and have pie on pretty much every holiday.
“WTF is this” refers to the fact that if someone gave you a cake…frostingless you would toss it in the garbage. You are right however, it does taste like a sponge.
Pie rules, cake droolz.
Everyone knows the cake is a lie
Aren’t you original…
Quiche pizza pie problem solved
http://www.culinary.net/RecipeFileHandler.ashx?id=4427&fieldId=3&datacol=DESCRIPTION_IMAGE
this is crap, someone is seriously missing out on the joy of cake! I can say cake is great and still love pie, I don’t have to dog pie just to say cake is fantastic UGH!
While from-scratch pie and cake are both fucking awesome, pie is still the clear winner. Flaky, buttery crust and gooey filling win over the moist crumb and creamy icing in my book. It is *really* close though.
However, much as I enjoy Allie’s blog, grocery-store cakes of the variety that typically have thick frosting roses and the like are absolutely awful, *especially* the frosting.
cobbler is way better than pie or cake.
Cake < Pie < Cheesecake
The only way cake could compare to the awesome versatility of pie is if you put the word cheese in front of it. ’nuff said
The cake is a lie, and the pie is truth.
So I’d take pie over cake any day of the week.
Twitter Name: _danielwhite
Cake+Pie=CheeseCake.
CheeseCake>Cake+Pie^9999999EE99
THE CAKE IS A LIE
but this post is the truth. The good boys over at hyperbole and a half.
Actually, Allie is at Hyperbole and a Half, and she’s a gal :)
Cake and pie are both good, but if you hate cake that much it makes me wonder where the fuck you get your cakes from??!!
Dear Cake/Pie Champions, In a world with too much starvation, you should consider yourselves lucky to know what each tastes like. Enough already.
I agree 100%
Last night I had a Lemon merenguine pie and It was wonderful. On my birthday I had the best blue berry cake I have ever eaten. I think that its not the frosting, its just the texture of the cake part. If it was fixed, you can have good cakes and pies all the time :)
haha wonderful!
pie is OBV. the winner :)
Twitter Name: Katie Martino
I think it is safe to say that pie is for pussies and cake is for big time ballas who get mad bitches. fuck you pie eating jizz guzzlers. go die.
Instead of straight up frosting, imagine Cinnamon bun frosting on apple pie.
i think your being a little harsh in your anatomy of cake, i often like the middle just as much as the icing…just sayin
Tarts?
I believe this analysis is slightly biased.
GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY.
Mud pie > Urinal cake.
I can’t believe that anyone would have the unmitigated audacity to steal artwork from the oatmeals website. This is horrendous. The rest was awesome, but the slimy thievery makes me wanna puke and blow chunks too.
In a fight to the death between pie and cake, pie would be the clear winner. Also, cake is entirely lacking in the moral gravitas that makes pie the obvious, thinking-person’s choice in this matter. It has nothing to do with whether a person has ever jumped out of a pie, or not. Probably someone has, but who cares? That would be like arguing, “Has anyone ever baked four and twenty blackbirds into a cake?” This would be, and is, irrelevant.
Clearly, poor Allie has NOT been eating the right pies if she feels crust is merely “meh.”
The right pie crust is better than any rapture.
Twitter Name: domesticdork
Biased Biased Biased.
But I totally agree with the majority of it.
Bollocks! Cake is clearly superior!
Anyone else feel that this is totally wrong? The cake part of cake is the best part not the frosting… The flower piece on the cake is disgusting unless you’re a nine year old who lives off of pure sugar. Also pie crust is AWESOME! I love pie filling as well but pie would suck without crust and if you really think that the cake is disgusting why not just by a tube of frosting and suck it into your fat belly.