This was the post that made me fall in love with Allie over at Hyperbole and a Half. This was the post that turned the night of March 15th into the biggest timesuck in the history of me, because it was spent stalking poor Allie’s archives. And then I shared my love with the rest of the Aiming Low team and they were all, “OH MY GOD, I want to hump her a little bit too!” We have good taste in reading material over here, folks. We are honored that Allie agreed to be a part of our Three Day Weekend. We love her, and we know you will too. Also, you will probably want to eat some pie. ~Ali
I love cake. Cake is wonderful. But it is too easy to get caught up in the idea of cake. When you compare the data, it is clear that pie is a better choice.
1. Ability of enjoyment to be sustained over time
The first few mouthfuls of cake are almost magical, but as eating continues, enjoyment drops off precipitously. The enjoyment curve for pie appears to be much more stable over time.
2. Unequal frosting distribution is a problem
Pie exhibits much greater homogeneity than cake. In cake, the highest concentration of awesomeness is found in the frosting. The act of decorating a cake can polarize it and cause a dangerously uneven distribution of frosting, leading to discord and animosity during serving time.
3. Pie appears to contain a greater relative volume of enjoyable substances.
4. Pie is more scientifically versatile:
5. Pie is relevant in a greater variety of situations:
Cake is appropriate in a very limited number of situations, whereas almost any day is a great day to have pie.
6. Cake has much more severe, longer lasting consequences than pie:
UPDATE: It’s too early to tell whether this hybridization is the best idea ever or just dangerous and foolish:
Most likely it will either solve all the problems in the world or end humanity in a hyperglycemic blaze of glory.
About Guest Writer
This is the best post ever written. And most true. So much so that cake must now be outlawed. The end.
Twitter Name: agentninety9
I saw the link to Hyperbole and a Half on Twitter (probably from Ali or some other AL gal) and I nearly died laughing. Later that day I saw HaaH on Stumble Upon and thought, “She’s gonna be the next Miss Blogosphere!”
So, I spent a million years going through her archives, until I was so hungry I could eat a horse. For real.
And, I’m totally Team Pie. Fuck cake, yo!
WhoooHooo! My sentiments are with Team PIE too! Every holiday in my family we have at least 5 kinds, my mom is a wonderful lady.
Twitter Name: lovedelray
Cake chart! ahahahahaha
Twitter Name: mariamelee
I’m a cake person!!! Unless it’s chocolate pie and then I like them both equally the same. :)
Twitter Name: AmazingGreis
Team Cake here too!
Doesn’t pie mostly have fruit? And isn’t fruit good for you? I live and die for cake and frosting can only be chocolate- none of that sugary buttercream crap.
Twitter Name: tenakim
The fight over what kid gets what cool part of the frosted cake makes me want to stab myself in the face with the knife I used to cut it.
Twitter Name: AMomTwoBoys
I wouldn’t say no to pie or cake right now. mmmmm….
but, seriously, there is just NEVER a bad time for pie. EVER
Twitter Name: alimartell
I mean, the mere fact that they have cake decorating competitions tells you how lame and needy cake is.
Oh hey, let’s make this cake look like Shrek so we can trick kids into eating it?
Half the time it isn’t even CAKE in the decorated cake. It’s rice krispie treat.
CAKE FAILS AT BEING CAKE.
You don’t even have to decorate pie to win contests or get people to have sex with you. You just show up with it. Or bake it and put it on your windowsill.
That works pretty much every time.
I think the bigger debate here is how to make pie LESS awesome.
And then maybe there wouldn’t be so many homeless people spending their life savings on pies, or teenagers so full and happy they are getting pregnant.
Twitter Name: barefootfoodie
Cake fails at being cake! Bwahhahahahahahahahha <3 YOU!
Twitter Name: unlikelymama
I fail to see why everyone is hating on cake. I mean, seriously, who dislikes cake?
Twitter Name: ClassyFabSarah
Mom and Apple Cake?
Think not. You’re so right – Team Pie!
My mom is a bitch.
CAKE FOREVER!
Having Allie here on OUR site?
It’s kind of making me warm and squishy in a happy place.
Twitter Name: alotofnothing
Like PIE?!?!?!
Like pussy
Unfortunately, the preference for pie is a recessive trait, as I married a cake lover and then gave birth to one. Also, crust is meh? No way. Not my mom’s crust anyway.
This is fantastic. Now I remember that I still have 3/4 of a strawberry/rhubarb pie leftover in the kitchen. Breakfast of fat, happy champions!
strawberry rhubarb is my absolute favorite, can I come over and eat your pie? um, wait no… that sounded dirty. nevermind.
team pie ftw!
Yus. I think The Bloggess linked to her a couple months ago, and I was an instant fan/addict.
Twitter Name: grace134
For those of you who love the cake, comedian Jim Gaffigan gives a great cake vs. pie bit on his comedy album Beyond the Pale.
“Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie…someone’s drunk in the kitchen.”
hehehe, yeah.
Twitter Name: Dumblond
I think lemon meringue pie is as close to super pie as you’re going to get…no, meringue isn’t frosting, but OMFG is it good!
I must procure some coconut cream pie NOW. Like 10 minutes ago now.
I don’t think I’d ever turn down either. BUT, if given the choice between pie or cake I’m going with pie.
Twitter Name: letstalkbabies
Team Pie ALWAYS! This is the beat.
Steph
Twitter Name: babysteph
PIE! I love this.
Twitter Name: angi33
Hmmm, while I love both cake and pie I do have an issue. It’s uheard of frankly, and possibly means I am being weeded out of the gene pool.
Are you ready for it? It’s shocking.
I hate icing.
There. I said it. Feel free to commence throwing pies at me.
Twitter Name: amyblam
I am dying over here! The “cake chart” really DOESN’T make any fucking sense hahahaha!!!! You should set up a poll for people to vote pie vs. cake and show the results in a PIE CHART!
I LOVE Hyperbole and a Half! Everything Allie writes is hilarious!
Allie Brosh is my hero.
I highly recommend her post about new hygiene products for men- It had me laughing until I cried.
I am so nice, here’s a link: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/how-to-make-showering-awesome-again.html
Twitter Name: txtingmrdarcy
I just bought a brownie mix, and now I have no clue what to do with it.
Twitter Name: Amy_Urquhart
BROWNIE PIE!!!
Twitter Name: mamaspohr
I haven’t commented on anything in months.
This is definitely worth it.
TEAM PIE vs. coma and pie would win.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
This is the best scientific document I’ve ever read. I must get to work on the cake/pie hybrid.
The best thing I’ve read in weeks! SO TRUE!
OMG I am love with Allie. And I also want blueberry pie w/ ice cream right now.
I’m suppose to be doing pilates right now, and I’m not because I wouldn’t have such an urgency to do them if I was the type of person who actually followed through with exercise. Instead, I’m finding myself defending the very thing that’s made life harder on my feet. Cake is not actual competition to pie. It’s icing. In fact, I make icing, not cake. Finger licking icing is an act which I practice a lot. Ask my husband. I also make a lot of pie, which it typically easier to make than cake ( a poignant note not mentioned above).
How does icing blow pie out of the water?
1. It takes minutes to make
3. It requires like 3 ingredients that everyone has. You can make it and have it anywhere, anytime.
2. Enjoying it plain is like getting reparations for being a tortured child unable to enjoy it freely
4. Putting it on pie, makes pie better.
Twitter Name: lovemedaily
She is hilarious. I’m glad to see her linked on here, it’s like uniting apple pie with a berry pie.. A perfect combo of mixed pie. Allie = Aiming Low= the best of 2pie worlds.
Twitter Name: mom2aroo
I really need you to stop making me love you sooo damn much. a) because I am married and it’s his birthday and that would not be cool for me to yell out your name in the required birthday woohoo later, and b) if I were to have an affair I have already sworn it would only be with Brendan Fraser. Now if you could dress up like BF and bring in the cake/pie hybrid thingy we could make this work…
Twitter Name: IamThePeachy1
Damn, I’ve always been about cake, but now I’m rethinking what I ever believed. I’m so confused. I need to lie down.
Twitter Name: shaunaglenn
What’s so great about a pile of hot, mushy fruit?
What kind of disgusting person likes the frosting more than the actual CAKE?
That’s obviously the problem to your preference right there.
Amusing, yes, but this Allie person seems all too proud of her culinary naiveté, and eager to please us common folk with her mildly witty demagoguery. If baking were politics, she’d clearly be Palin.
EXCEPT CAKE TASTES BETTER!!! <3
I seriously LOVE PIE! I’m convinced!
You know what’s weird? We call it icing and you call it frosting. Which is weird in itself, but what relevance does either have to ice or frost? Do you think it’s because of the old style Christmas cakes which were made using royal icing? The royal icing was usually depicting the snow in a merry Crimbo scene on the cake, with little sleighs and fir trees and shiz dotted around… I miss that type of Christmas cake :¬(
Come on Yanks, give me the answer!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmOkXV-S1zQ …Pretty much says it all. Team Cake!
At least the cake has a rose..
Cake is worth it.
This is brilliant. Jesus approves.
Twitter Name: jesucristou
When as the last time you had chicken pot cake? Clearly pie is the best.
You have cake at Christmas…
And anyone who ‘mehs’ the pastry part of the pie doesn’t understand the beauty of a pie.
Sorry, disagree. Cake is still way better.
Cake > Pie
You are biased.
In what world is a birthday pie equally appropriate to a cake?
Sticking candles in a pie for your kids b-day party is the kind of thing that gets your child wedgied the next day at school…
also this is an unfair comparison because the cake, as many people should know, is a LIE
Pie is not okay during anyone’s birthday, so the fact that this post puts cake AND pie at equal appropriateness is sooo wrong. Cake is forever better than pie in my opinion.
Cake is an excuse to eat frosting while pie is an excuse to eat whipped cream, it just doesn’t come with it so it dose not appear in this study and everyone knows Whipped cream > Frosting.
This shit is HILARIOUS!!!!!
I just want to say: I love cake, but I hate frosting. I don’t want that damn rose!
Yes. This.
PFFT frosting is nothing!
it’s all bout the cakeness ofthe cake
and frankly i love both.
I want both in 4 days when it’s my birthday XD
You are wrong and also wrong. Very very very wrong. Most pie looks like vomit and is encased in a flavorless cracker shell.
If that’s your idea of “most” pie, you’ve obviously never seen any good pie before.
The only good pie is that almost-not-even-a-pie pie. Like.. pudding pie. Pumpkin pie. Real pie consists of half-rotted fruit and a crusty shell. Cake, if made right, can be very moist and delicious.
“The only good pie is that almost-not-even-a-pie pie. Like.. pudding pie. Pumpkin pie. Real pie consists of half-rotted fruit and a crusty shell. Cake, if made right, can be very moist and delicious.”
What you did there was defend Pie with your own insult to Pie.
what you said about Cake, being made right… well the EXACT same applies to Pie, genius, except good pie beats the hell out of a piece of cake I can only eat 3 bites of before my stomach is overrun by sugar overload and im lucky if I keep it down.
I don’t see how I defended the Pie…
And most pies, if made right, sadly still have the nasty half-rotted fruit in them. That’s the pie I mean: the real pie.
Cake, if made with fruit, is still rather good, because it isn’t the whole damn bite of dessert.
Wtf?
Half rotted fruit in them?
Me thinks you’ve never had good pie.
Actually, me thinks you’ve never had pie. Since I’ve never had any half rotten fruit in my pie. This includes Baker’s Square Pie.
I have had pie, otherwise I wouldn’t be commenting from my point of view.
Pies with baked fruit in them make the fruit mushy and sour, thus I make the metaphor of rotting fruit.
Not everything is to be taken literally in life, good sir.
Um what do you think cake is? Its dried up nasty bread that sticks to the roof of your mouth. It gets stale, a whole cake is never eaten and everyone always wants a corner piece. No body is ever fully satisfied. Icing is too sweet and smells like vomit. Not all pie has fruit. Have you ever heard of Chocolate Pie? And also if cake was so great then why does cheese cake try and lie pass itself off as a pie? Sorry but i disagree with you every “fruit” pie I’ve had the fruit was fresh.
i don’t care either way, but cycowolf, your comment made me laugh.
Lies, Pie sux Cake is so much better.
Pie is better when it’s good pie. I’d take really good pie over really good cake any day!
The cake is a Pie!
you shut your dirty whore mouth!
Liar!
The Cake is a Pie is a Lie.
The cake pie is a lie….
The pie is a sleezy, lying spy, guy.
The sleezy cake pie is lying on a guy, spy… o_O
Very well put XD
The sleezy cake pie is lying on a guy spy, but its still pretty fly for an apple pie.
This is a Paul F Thompkins joke. You totally ripped this off. Good job
Here’s the YouTube video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmOkXV-S1zQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Don’t get me wrong I like the sketches but this is a huge ripoff
Dude that video is about cake being more awesome than pie and his only argument is the icing. How is this a ripoff?
The argument in general is a ripoff.
You can’t rip off an argument; you can only continue one.
I mean that it was continued without any of the original argument carriers and thus it is no longer their argument, sir.
I f that makes more sense to you.
i hate to have to tell you this, but by your descriptions you have never had either really good cake ( where the cake part is so good you’d eat it naked and be ecstatic) nor really good pie (where the crust is so good you’d also eat that by itself )…you need to find a real baker and enlarge your world!
ha0ppy hunting ;)
i hate to have to tell you this, but by your descriptions you have never had either really good cake ( where the cake part is so good you’d eat it naked and be ecstatic) nor really good pie (where the crust is so good you’d also eat that by itself )…you need to find a real baker and enlarge your world!
happy hunting ;)
I have been on a crusade for years to get pie the recognition it deserves..hell yeah for this!
THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!!!
Lol, glad somebody else is on the same page
Plus trying to decide between cake and pie just makes life difficult. Around my house you learn to ask people if they want “cakeorpie” like it is one word.
Ice Cream Pie>Ice Cream Cake>normal pie>normal cake
Pie Crust>Cake portion of cake
Pie Contents>Icing on Cake… fuck icing.
More like Ice Cream ON Pie> Ice Cream Cake. I’d take a nice warm slice of apple pie with Vanilla Ice Cream, than Ice-Cream Pie. That sounds strange! When you come acress one let me know!
^_^ But I agree with everything you say. Ice cream cake is better than normal pie which is a LOT better than normal cake.
But this argument only mentions birthday party marble cakes. What about cakes like German Chocolate!?! That’s the best cake EVER!
Haha. I love how everyone is debating this.
I agree with most of your points (although pie and cake are both super duper awesome and if they were forced to do battle the resulting force of awesomeness would most likely destroy the universe) but I think that you’re wrong about the relevance of pie. Cake is the only appropriate birthday option. I mean a birthday pie? That’s just silly. And what about weeding cake, Ace of Cakes, or Marie Antoinette “let them eat cake”, or even The Sandlot when the beast knocks over the massive cake. It simply couldn’t have been done with pie (a massive pie, come on get serious). Cake is equally (if not more) relevant than pie and has a very large factor of hilarity in direct proportion to the size and complexity. Yes throwing pies in people’s faces is pretty hilarious but it just doesn’t compare to seeing a seven foot cake with insane amounts of details smash all over the place.
You have all failed to take into account that the cake is in fact a lie.
Pie wins again.
THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!
team cake
allie = amazing.
cakes rule ya cunts
Its a very common thing to have Christmas cake and, to be honest I have never heard of Halloween pie, I’m a fan of pie myself but keep it fair =w=
you’ve never heard of pumpkin pie??? what else are you gonna do with the innards of your pumpkin after you carve it for Halloween.
This whole thing, is making me crave my sprinkled cake. I think I’ll have a few peices :) Cant put sprinkles INSIDE a pie :) that would just be gross. but my cake has sprinkles in the cake and on the iceing! Yayy cake! imma go eat some now :)
You forgot the versatility of pie. It can be eaten at any meal, and there aren’t just fruit ones, but meaty and veggie ones as well. Cake is only sweet and can really only be had for desert.
When a stripper pops out of a pie I will convert but until then… I think not mister! Cake is a sensual experience dammit!
Have you ever seen American Pie?
Were you intentionally trying to ripoff theoatmeal.com ‘s art style or what?
agreed… oatmeal rip off..
the oatmeal doesn’t have much of a style. Its just humor. Get the hell off your high horse and leave the site if you don’t like it.
Hahaha…well said. Don’t understand why people comment on sites they don’t like. JUST LEAVE THEM.
They comment on sites they don’t like because comment forums aren’t just for saying “This is awesome”
It’s also for giving criticisms. Hopefully good and useful ones.
It encourages discussion. Where everyone loves something, and agrees, there can be no progress.
Right, because the comment board of a cake vs. pie infograph is the best forum for progress.
Never ceases to annoy me that everyone want’s to compare Allie’s work to The Oatmeal just because the drawing is similar, and the sense of humor is similar. BFD folks. I love them both, but I’d take Allie’s Hyperbole and a Half over Oatmeal any day.
Just because two things have some similarities, does not mean one of them ripped off the other. I’m not EVEN going to bother looking up which one was actually online first.
To Bill:
It’s not similar to the oatmeal… it’s identical. You can’t copy someone’s artwork put a different joke on it and call it your own. He should try being creative and making his own style rather than copying others.
Hmm odd i was thinking that the comment area was just for people to be negative pricks. My eyes are now opened :)
it actually looks more like hyperbole and a half. if you’re gonna claim someone is hijacking someone else’s art, at least be a little more accurate :)
Hahaha, if you guys had just read the intro paragraph you would have found out it was hyperbole and a half. Way to go. ;)
Actually, The Oatmeal has credited Hyperbole and a Half for giving them ideas for their drawings :D
lol owned.
Hyperbole and a Half is the making of one awesome girl. Her name is Allie, and she is amazing. The author of this repost is right… I kinda want to hump her a little bit…
It’s not The Oatmeal. It looks like Hyperbole And A Half… mostly because it IS Hyperbole And A Half. This is taken directly from their site and the author here even says so:
“This was the post that made me fall in love with Allie over at Hyperbole and a Half.”
Pay attention folks.
Hardly! Pie is a bastard of cake and will never be able to stand up to what cake has achieved! 1) Pie will never be invited to birthdays and have a candle in it. 2) no one will ever jump out of a pie 3) pie will never hold bride and groom figurines. 4) pie is not allowed at fancy restaurants. etc…
I’m not sure if your just a moron or just that ignorant but maybe you should look a little bit, all of these things have been done and are done.
Twitter Name: Christopher Desjardins
It’s you’re, not your. You could have also said “you are”, since that is the sentiment you were trying to communicate to “Blank”. I’m (I am) pointing this out because I am a huge fan of irony- that is, watching someone taking a stab at someone’s intelligence by calling them a moron when they, in fact, proved the same about themselves.
you suck. no irony there. you just suck.
i have birthday pies because i hate cake so much. o.O
and i would LOVE to have a nice pie at my wedding. :3
…and pie is at fancy restaurants.
Twitter Name: omgwtflizzie
I actually had pie at my wedding. I enjoy wedding pie much more than wedding cake.
Twitter Name: Alicia Rogers
I don’t know what fancy restaurants you go to but I prefer Key Lime pie with my fancy dinner.
You always have room for pie and there is no way cake can easily be thrown into someone’s face. Olivia Munn has never jumped into a giant cake. Pie is served in fancy restaurants gourmet style all over the world. Hell the #1 fan of pie herself, Olivia Munn work a whole chapter about that itself in her autobiography.
I hate you for the fact that you read her autobiography. What the hell do you really think she had to talk about? Hh that’s right, a whole chapter on pie. Without it her book would have been (it still is) just F*ing lame. What could the girl who got famous off a video game show, does playboy spreads (clothed) and has not even passed her 30′s yet really have to say or contribute to society?? I can’t comprehend why that was your choice of reading material, and then you used it in a comment. Shoot me now. I have lost all faith in society.
Actually you are wrong. Someone has already jumped out of pie, watch the movie The Master Of Disguise.
Cake is good….
But when’s the last time YOU ever fucked a “Warm Apple Cake?” We all know pussy is like “Warm Apple Pie”!