This was the post that made me fall in love with Allie over at Hyperbole and a Half. This was the post that turned the night of March 15th into the biggest timesuck in the history of me, because it was spent stalking poor Allie’s archives. And then I shared my love with the rest of the Aiming Low team and they were all, “OH MY GOD, I want to hump her a little bit too!” We have good taste in reading material over here, folks. We are honored that Allie agreed to be a part of our Three Day Weekend. We love her, and we know you will too. Also, you will probably want to eat some pie. ~Ali

I love cake. Cake is wonderful. But it is too easy to get caught up in the idea of cake. When you compare the data, it is clear that pie is a better choice.

1. Ability of enjoyment to be sustained over time

The first few mouthfuls of cake are almost magical, but as eating continues, enjoyment drops off precipitously. The enjoyment curve for pie appears to be much more stable over time.

2. Unequal frosting distribution is a problem

Pie exhibits much greater homogeneity than cake. In cake, the highest concentration of awesomeness is found in the frosting. The act of decorating a cake can polarize it and cause a dangerously uneven distribution of frosting, leading to discord and animosity during serving time.

3. Pie appears to contain a greater relative volume of enjoyable substances.

4. Pie is more scientifically versatile:

5. Pie is relevant in a greater variety of situations:

Cake is appropriate in a very limited number of situations, whereas almost any day is a great day to have pie.

6. Cake has much more severe, longer lasting consequences than pie:

UPDATE: It’s too early to tell whether this hybridization is the best idea ever or just dangerous and foolish:

Most likely it will either solve all the problems in the world or end humanity in a hyperglycemic blaze of glory.