Survivor Heroes vs Villains, Week Seven: ‘I’m Not A Good Villain’

The show starts out in Villianville the morning after the double eviction tribal council. Rob is on edge, seriously on edge. He is so confused and knows that ‘something just doesn’t feel right‘. As Rob discusses this unsettling blindside with Jerri, Courtney, Coach, and Sandra the sound of giggling trolls emerges from the jungle.

Pan to trolls: Danielle, Parvarti, and Russell are doing little happy dances everywhere they go. As Rob says ‘I was born at night but not last night and how do three people have so much confidence unless something else is going on?‘ Well Rob, think about it… do your numbers really feel that solid?

So the mood for this episode is set. Who is with who? (or is that whom? I never can keep that stuff straight.)

Jerri wanders off and talks to Danielle, Parvarti, and Russell. The unholy trinity work her hard and unbelievably I feel that Jerri is cracking. Russell believes that the stunt he pulled during the tribal council — where he put his survival on the line — means he is fiercely loyal and it seems to be a selling feature. Unbelievable but true.

Meanwhile over in Heroland: Everyone is stiff, sore, and sour. Tribal council was brutal for their psyche but Colby is rejuvenated. He thought he was going to be gone and they kept him around. That tribal council surprise of evicting James may be the kick in the pants he so desperately needs.

Reward challenge: Let’s have a water basket ball game with a side of potential drowning please! This time the reward is real. The winners will go to an outdoor waterfall with healthy food. No more hotdogs.

Straight away in this competition Colby quickly proves he is da man and Coach is a sissy basket ball player. To say the Heroes are being aggressive in this game would be an understatement, they quickly take the lead. The Villains seemed defeated right away and were already planning what they were going to eat when they arrived back at camp as losers:

Heroes took the reward in only three rounds then we got to watch them dry hump each other for a long time. Okay, I guess they deserve it.

Anyway. Off to reward meal they go! Of course there is a clue to the hidden immunity idol in the meal and they try to ignore it to no avail. Amanda finally cannot stand it and gets up to read it. The team decides after reading it that they will find it together. Colby is all psyched about HIS TEAM. Are they really playing together? I hope so for their sake.

Back at Villaintown, Coach is horrified that Jerri has joined team Russell. HORRIFIED. Russell tells them both that he wants them to be the final three and Coach is very upset that Jerri had the conversation with Russell without talking to him on the side first. He feels honor-bound to Jerri and her verbalizing that she is with Russell and her inability to trust Rob has made him feel hurt (cue violins). But he is loyal to Jerri and he will stick with her. Jerri hates how naive Coach is but she is working with him and will stick with their alliance. For now.

It’s time for the immunity challenge! Oh noes, it’s a puzzle. Will the Heroes be able to do it? During the retrieval of the puzzle pieces the Villains fall behind because Courtney — who is so emaciated it seems like she disappears off the screen when she turns sideways — really slows it down on the trampoline run. She appears afraid to bounce… perhaps a fear of floating away, shattering on impact? Meanwhile the Heroes are running full steam ahead.

JT and Amanda start on the puzzle for the Heroes and they are just plowing through it. Rob and Sandra finally start and just never seem to get it together. Heroes win it in now time. Villains are off to tribal council AGAIN.

Post challenge Rob looks like he wants to puke. A voice over of Coach has him already talking about how Courtney has to go, she is the weak link, and I couldn’t agree more. Dang, I can’t believe I’m agreeing with Coach.

Anyway, Russell has other plans and talks to Rob. He suggests — right in front of both women — that either Sandra or Courtney should go. Rob is flabbergasted that Russell would suggest this right in front of them but Russell has a point, they are the weakest. Poor Rob, he has a very weak (literally) alliance. So Rob goes to talk to Coach and gives him the old loyalty talk even though Coach’s logic of voting for either Courtney or Parvarti makes sense. Rob cannot be swayed, he wants to vote Russell. Oh Coach, stuck in the middle again. He tells Rob that he’s going to vote for “that little bastard” but one has to wonder, is Coach actually lying? Only votes will tell.

Coach now goes to talk to Russell and his girls and for the first time, Rob’s name comes up as a possibility. Oh my, can you imagine? Jerri and Russell start to dream of a tribe without Rob and the seed is firmly planted. Coach freaks and says it doesn’t feel right and he won’t vote that way. Coach wanders away and contemplates life while staring at his filthy — an undoubtedly stinky — buff. He came to win but not at all costs. *sigh* This man does not how to play this game? He seems despondent.

Rob knows that they are coming after him. He tells Jerri and tells her that she must do what is best for her. Ugh. Will they vote one of the most entertaining members of the Survivor cast out tonight? Coach is set against it and tells Jerri and then she states “I’m not a good villain.” Has Jerri found true emotion?

Off to tribal council we go! Jeff Probst starts the ball rolling and he asks Sandra where the votes are going. She says they are going to be all over the place because no one is clearly set to go. Coach points out that there is no unity in this group and they are blowing themselves apart. Russell does not agree with this assessment (of course!) and he is proud of last week’s blindside (as he should be). Oh man, how is this going to go?

Russell and Rob hash it out over loyalty and Jerri who is sitting between them looks like she is praying that they don’t drag her into it (or maybe she has to hurl. It’s a hard call.)

Off to the vote they go. Probst starts to read them off robotically:

Rob

Russell

Rob

Russell

Rob

Russell

Courtney (HELLO COACH… nice to throw your vote away dude)

Rob

And with that, Rob is gone. He totally blows off Coach with the statement “you’re a little man” and refuses to give the Dragonslayer a hug but Rob does give Jerri a big one because she voted for herself. Rob totally burned Coach who probably is crying hard on the inside. Let’s hope the cameras captured it when he did it back at camp post-tribal council.

So will that vote destroy that team or bring them together? I’m thinking destroy. What do you think?

Next week: Lots of mud. Lots of dirt. All the alliances at Villain town are crumbling like dirt cookies. HuZZah!