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There, but for the grace of God, go I

laurinavI worry about two things when it comes to my children – a car hitting them and a predator snatching them. These two things keep me awake at night, more so than teenage pregnancy or drugs, or a whole host of other pitfalls and obstacles that I hope they never face. As a mother, thinking about these things can become an obsession even though you take all the precautions in the world to avoid the boogeyman.

It never crossed my mind that I could be the boogeyman to some other family. I’ve just been living my life, carrying on, doing what I do, protecting my own. But I was an accident waiting to happen.

DWT – driving while texting – is an acronym that is catching on and gathering speed. Many states have already made it a crime, but not my state. Not yet. In Florida I can still legally fiddle with my cell phone as I drive around town, past husbands and wives, mothers and fathers. Past their children.

I recently wrote an article for a client about the dangers of texting in the car. I learned a few things, beyond the obvious point that it’s a bad idea. Studies show that texting is more dangerous than being wasted when you’re barreling down the road toward somebody’s loved one. And a Bluetooth or hands-free setup doesn’t make it safe to talk and drive. Just talking on the phone to someone not in the car with you makes the brain all wonky. You can zone out and look away from the road even as you think, Oh, hai! Look at me expertly driving my car while talking on the phone. I can handle it. Here’s a news flash. No one can handle it.

I saw last week’s Oprah episode about texting while driving. Perhaps you did too. The first segment was about a little girl who was hit head-on and killed while riding her bike home from school, fifteen pedals from her driveway, by a mom in an SUV who was fiddling with her phone. The woman was sorry at the scene. So, so sorry. As paramedics cut off the little girl’s clothes as she lay next to her crumpled bike and her parents watched a horror movie from a distance, she was so sorry.

Another story from that episode was a young man who killed two men, husbands and fathers both, because he was texting in the car. Texting for miles, he said, from the minute he got behind the wheel. No biggie. He had been texting in the car since he got his license. Everyone he knew at school texted in their car.

Here’s the thing. I could be that kid. I could be that SUV mom. I have been a distracted driver for years, probably since I got my first job and my first cell phone, an enormous Motorola flip phone. Two decades of distracted driving.

I take and make calls in the car. Ever since I got my shiny, shiny iPhone I sometimes look at emails at a stop light. I might look over to see what my opponent just played in Words with Friends. I don’t text and drive, but I have probably sent a tweet waiting for the light to change. I am so grateful I never caused an accident. So, so grateful.

I am finally putting an end to my lucky streak. I’ll be keeping my iPhone in my purse from now on. I will pull over if I need to make a call. As Oprah would say, When you know better, you do better.

About Laurin Evans

Laurin is a stay at home freelance writer with a decade of marriage behind her and twin 6-year-olds ransacking her house every day. She finally has the career she has always wanted and life is good, but certainly not perfect.

Comments

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    I needed to hear this.
    MommyMelee´s last blog ..don’t feed the elephant in the room any peanuts My ComLuv Profile

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    I am guilty of the red light texting….but you are right….even that makes you distracted.
    Denise´s last blog ..My confession….. My ComLuv Profile

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    I finally got my husband to stop REMOVING HIS SEATBELT to get his phone when it rings while he’s driving. He now lets it ring, thank God. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched someone wander all over the road, or drive 10 miles under the limit in the fast lane, only to see they are fiddling with the phone. It’s awful.
    Tracy´s last blog ..Things I’m not prepared to hear from my daughter My ComLuv Profile

    • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

      @Tracy, I’m glad you convinced him. It is awful when you see someone driving like that. Someone said it’s like driving through a sea of DUI drivers whenever you are on the road. Scary.
      laurinevans´s last blog ..An Easy Way to Help Haiti My ComLuv Profile

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    I am so, so guilty of this. In fact, if I am being honest, driving provides me time to talk on the phone….which is just ridiculous. Making a promise to myself now to cut.it.out.
    P.S. I can’t imagine being that woman who hit that little girl on the bike, that breaks my heart to pieces.
    Tina´s last blog ..Maintenence Required My ComLuv Profile

    • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

      @Tina, I had the same thought – uninterrupted time to return calls in the car. I’ve stopped and I don’t miss it. I just sit in a parking lot if I have to call someone.

      And that woman? That story is what compelled me to write this. I will not be that woman to another family.
      laurinevans´s last blog ..An Easy Way to Help Haiti My ComLuv Profile

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    Yeah, it drives me nuts to see people driving while talking on their phone, and I live in one of those places where it IS supposedly illegal.
    Assertagirl´s last blog ..33. My ComLuv Profile

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    Fabulous post.

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    Such powerful words. It always helps to hear them. It’s not just about us hurting ourselves, its about hurting others. My iPhone makes it tempting to look while driving. It is safer to put it away:) Thank you Thank you!

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    Well I guess if I was waiting for a personal invitation to reality this counts. You consider the possibilty of an accident when your doing it but actually taking someones life isn’t usually in the list of possible consequences in my head. I can’t imagine being responsible for that, those poor families. Good reminder thank you Laurin

  • mommabird2345
    Twitter: mommabird2345
    February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    I don’t text at all (in fact we have it blocked on our phone plan) and I don’t use my phone very much at all, but what I’m guilty of doing is messing with my ipod while driving.

    Just yesterday I caught myself driving down the freeway with my toddler in tow, fiddling with my ipod and not really paying attention to the road. When I realized what I was doing I immediately put the ipod down and was extremely grateful that nothing had happened. The lives of my children, myself and others on the road should be more important than finding the perfect playlist.

    Put the phone, ipod, or whatever it is that distracts you while driving away until you get to your destination. Thank you so much for this post!!

    • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

      @mommabird2345, Excellent point about distracted driving. It’s not just talking, or texting, it’s the million fun things these little gadgets can do that distracts us. Probably my biggest distraction? The Shazam iPhone app. You tap to tag a song on the radio and it listens, uploads, and tells you the song. I listen to talk radio a lot more now so I don’t get tempted to Shazam something. Gah.
      laurinevans´s last blog ..An Easy Way to Help Haiti My ComLuv Profile

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    I used to be guilty of this until a few months ago when I saw that video that made it’s way through Face book. Since then if I need to text/call I pull over. I try to limit how much I use the phone while driving- there are too many people who are not focusing on what they’re doing.
    Barb´s last blog ..Millionaire Matchmaker My ComLuv Profile

    • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

      @Barb, The one from England with the girl who texted and crossed into the other lane? That was pretty chilling. When that young man on Oprah said that everyone he knows is constantly texting, that terrified me.
      laurinevans´s last blog ..An Easy Way to Help Haiti My ComLuv Profile

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    Thanks for the reminder. If it’s THAT important, the caller or texter will just have to wait until I pull into the driveway!
    Pamela´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Ghetto Fabulous Edition! My ComLuv Profile

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    I need to make a committment to turn off the ringer when I get in the car. I hear that little ding that I got a message and I’m such an addict that I can’t even resist it until I get home. Ten minutes from work. Stupid. Just really stupid.
    Jennifer´s last blog ..My family is accident prone My ComLuv Profile

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    The story about the girl dying near her driveway gave me chills. Why? Could’ve been me hitting her too. I don’t text while I drive (crappy basic phone keeps everything to a minimum, but maybe just as well) but I do search for numbers on it right when I am pulling out of my driveway. Or search for playlists on my ipod. While I am slowly driving down MY boring road on my way somewhere, I have found myself groping around the car for whatever, looking down at some gadget, getting ALL set up (even veering at times thanks to this distraction) before I pull out onto a “real” road. But that “real” road doesn’t have kids riding their bikes in the street. Kids are everywhere around here. So could have been me. So going to do a better job with this. So going to pay attention on every street I drive on. Thanks for this Laurin.
    Caroline´s last blog ..Sidewalk Chalk My ComLuv Profile

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    I’m one of the lucky ones who hasn’t been involved in a serious accident. Yet. After reading your post I vow to put the damn phone down.

    Thanks Laurin.
    Shauna´s last blog ..What kind of name is Roy anyway? My ComLuv Profile

    • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

      @Shauna, You’re welcome. That was part of the Oprah pledge – spread the word. Tell everyone. Don’t you have a driving age kid? She’s 16, right? They will probably have those device-disabling cars by the time mine are driving.
      laurinevans´s last blog ..An Easy Way to Help Haiti My ComLuv Profile

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    I saw that episode as well. I am guilty too. I have worked hard at the distractions. Does that mean kids need to no tride in the car?
    African American Mom´s last blog ..Our Weekend Recap with the Ice Storm My ComLuv Profile

    • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

      @African American Mom, I’ve been thinking about that for days, the kids distracting me. I will gladly put up a noise-blocking shield for the times they are fighting. It is a huge distraction for me.
      laurinevans´s last blog ..An Easy Way to Help Haiti My ComLuv Profile

  • February 3, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    Don’t beat yourself up too much about it. Luckily nothing DID happen and you’re changing your ways before it does. I was an avid driving while texting kind of gal and I stopped, too. And as of yet there are no laws in PA, either. Good for you for making the better choice!
    LessToLove´s last blog ..Still here… just busy… My ComLuv Profile

  • February 4, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    I’ve been doing a lot better about leaving my phone IN MY PURSE while I’m driving. I know I’m easily distracted, and that’s bad, so I’ve been taking extra precautions to help keep me focused on the road and my surroundings.
    SillyJaime´s last blog ..It’s so hard! (twss lolz) My ComLuv Profile

  • February 4, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    Our law went into effect this week. $155 fine if caught using any kind of electronic device: IPOD, Phone, even programming your GPS.

    I don’t talk much on my cell-phone, period, but from time to time I’d talk in the car. Now, if my husband calls, I tell him I’m driving and hang up. I wish he would do the same.

    Thanks for spreading the word.
    Kootnygirl´s last blog ..i’ll get right on that My ComLuv Profile

  • February 4, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    You may not know it but this post may end up saving lives. I for one will no longer text, call, or do anything else on the phone (It’s my only electronic equipment I take anywhere) while driving EVER AGAIN.

    How terrifying. I cannot imagine the ramifications…

    Thank you.
    ~Miranda
    Miranda´s last blog ..Mama’s ABC Soup – Letter A My ComLuv Profile

  • Maria
    February 4, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    What great sobering information! I have to admit that I am guilty of this and have checked my phone for that ever so important text or email on my blackberry. And yes, I have even texted back! It is rather ironic I came across your post as this has been a very popular topic at our house now that I have a teenage son driving and just so happens to have a cell phone like every other teenager in this world. Because I need to practice what I preach, I have also taken a vow to not text or even check my phone while driving. We are also putting the kibosh on some other cell phone rules that your readers might be interested in. I found a great article on the website Parent Powers that discusses the Do’s and Don’ts of Cell Phones by Susan Epstein who is a Parent Coach. She has some wonderful suggestions if anyone is interested in going further with safety of cell phones. Her website is http://www.parentingpowers.com/member

    Thank you for the great post and reminder of how dangerous this can be.

    • February 4, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

      @Maria, Thanks for the link. I was particularly terrified at the thought of all those new teenage drivers texting continuously in the car because it was just normal behavior for them. I’m glad you are aware of the issue and can teach your son not to do this.
      laurinevans´s last blog ..An Easy Way to Help Haiti My ComLuv Profile

  • February 18, 2010 | Permalink | Reply

    Thanks so much for helping me spread the word! That was my 2nd post to make people aware of the dangers of driving while distracted, this was the first one. http://shasherslife.blogspot.com/2010/01/deadly-obsession.html

    It’s amazing how many people think they can “multi-task”. They don’t realize that it impairs them 4 times more than if they were to drink and drive!
    Shash´s last blog ..about me My ComLuv Profile

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