Allow me to introduce you to one of my good friends at Pepperidge Farm! His name is 3-Layer Fudge Stripe Cake… The top and bottom layers are made up of chocolate cake and the middle layer is golden cake. This is no ordinary cake. It’s light, like that of cotton candy. It’s moist, like that of a light dusting of fresh snow. It’s got the right hint of sweetness through and through. Now the icing, oh the icing!! Have you ever played Candy Land? Then you know what the “Chocolate Swamp” is. Well the icing is just the right amount, never a droplet more, of this “Chocolate Swampy” substance. Then there’s the fudge. The cake is topped with stripes of fudge to make it that much more appealing.
To simply have a box of this cake hanging out in your freezer is a forecast that the day you choose to defrost it, is going to be a good day! A great day in fact!
Onto the story….
I get home from work yesterday and decide “Today is the day we’re going to eat 3-Layer Fudge Stripe Cake for dessert!”, and I remove said cake from the freezer. At first, I put it in the refrigerator. My husband points out that if I am planning on having it for dessert that night, I better place it on the counter instead!
We continue on with dinner. I grilled up some Tilapia fillets, baked some potatoes (in the microwave, do people actually “bake” them anymore?), fixed up a quick Caesar salad. I was ever so careful not to fill up on this healthy dinner, what with the cake sitting behind me on the counter whispering sweet nothings into my ear since taking him out of the frigid freezer conditions…
The dinner dishes were safely deposited into the dishwasher, glasses were refilled. I removed the handsome treat from his box and balanced the styrofoam tray on the sink divider (you know, one large sinks separated into two sections?). I served up some slices to both the boys and then slickly, cut a piece for myself which resembled both their slices put together! We go about eating our heavenly delights….. At this time, the boy’s bickering was wearing my last nerve and digging into my happy place whilst enjoying one of my favorite indulgences. I sent Jerytt to the bathroom and began cleaning up dessert dishes. The cake was still balanced on the sink divide…. I grabbed my fork and took a few more bites of the cake, you know, to even it out, he can’t be placed into the frig for midnight consumption unevenly can he? THAT’S. WHEN. IT. HAPPENED.
3-Layer Fudge Stripe Cake took a tumble on his head directly into the sink. The sink which contained remnants of Dawn dish soap. Oh – - 3-Layer Fudge Stripe Cake are you okay? You poor, poor dear. I think I shrieked out an “Oh shit” or something kinda like it. It was a sorry attempt to cover up what had just occurred because my husband had to get in on the action instantly. The styrofoam tray was staring back at me from the sink, right in the eye. I was eye to eye with the STYROFOAM TRAY, not the cake! Rapidly, I slid my fork beneath the cake portion and flipped him back over. I assessed the situation. “Beloved 3-Layer Fudge Stripe Cake, do you need mouth to mouth?” Oh my God! He had a sheen of soap covering his perfectly proportioned fudge stripes!
What’s a girl to do? The only thing that can be done in a situation such as this. I carefully scraped off the top layer of Chocolate Swampy-like icing (complete with fudge stripes!) and shoved it down the garbage disposal, rushed 3-Layer Fudge Stripe Cake back into his box, sealed it off and stored him back in the refrigerator.
You couldn’t think I was going to throw the remainder of 3-Layer Fudge Stripe Cake in the trash! Sheesh!
And yes, I am going to eat it, I mean…. he needs a proper burial, right into my gut!
You can read more of Pamela’s hilarious stories and adventures with her three boys over at her blog, 2 Much Testosterone.
About Aiming Low Does Good
I have loved those fricken evil Pepperidge Farm cakes since I was a kid. And now that you’re reminded me of them, I will think about nothing else until I have one. All of it. To myself.
Twitter Name: izzymom
@IzzyMom, Sometimes they go on sale here you know, buy one get one free…. The thought of this makes squirm in my chair!
Twitter Name: lotsospermies
@Pamela @ 2 much testosterone, My husband called to point out I forgot the “me” in the “The thought of this makes ME squirm in my chair!”… The typo was making him itch.
Twitter Name: lotsospermies
I LOVE those. And when I don’t eat the whole thing (using the little styrofoam holder as my own personal plate)- I also do the evening out thing with the fork.
There’s a special place in heaven for people that don’t waste cake.
Twitter Name: tenakim
@tena, I knew I couldn’t be the only one who evened it out! I’d like to think this cake is my ticket to the big man upstairs!
Twitter Name: lotsospermies
That cake is the BEST. I had it for the first time last weekend and I would’ve done the same damn thing you did!!
Twitter Name: LovinStilettos
@Michelle, For the first time? Where have you been hiding, under a rock? Which flavor? It’s so important to be devirginized with the right one!
Twitter Name: lotsospermies
Good call. Nothing is worse than wasted cake. Not even soapy cake.
Twitter Name: ladyjess78
@Jessi, Right? I’m excited to know I’m not the only one who would stoop as low as this!
Twitter Name: lotsospermies
@Pamela @ 2 much testosterone, I probably would have tried a bite with the soap still on just to make sure it wasn’t edible. Personally. But I’m weird like that.
Twitter Name: ladyjess78
Too funny! I’m a cake lover/saver myself. SITS sent me by, and I’m glad they did…
@Melissa B., SITS is like a dream come true! Happy Friday Melissa. You know you’re running out to buy this cake over your lunch hour. It’s okay to raise your hand and admit it!
Twitter Name: lotsospermies
I didn’t even know Pepridge Farm made cakes! I am hunting down that cake after work and bringing some home.
Frankly, if it’s as good as you all make it sound, I would have done the same thing.
Twitter Name: unknwndreamer
@Virginia, It’s in the freezer section. You will not be disappointed….
P.S. The coconut one is also very YUM!
Twitter Name: lotsospermies
I am always balancing stupid stuff on the sink divider- duh! we should learn our lesson–good save!!!
@write-brained, Right? I’m always trying to fill up my son’s bottles with milk, and it’s breast milk so any spillage is like a huge fucking loss….. I’m such a dumbass!
Twitter Name: lotsospermies
I knew that I found the right place. You ladies are the best. I am a freak about cake and I would never let any cake go to waste. So what if you have to scrape a little off to get rid of the soap! I think I need to run out and get one right now!
Twitter Name: RandomBlogette
@Jayme, You THINK you need to run out and get one right now? Good Lord woman don’t think, ACT!
Twitter Name: lotsospermies
Can I just say :
10 Second Rule!
You just don’t waste good cake. At least not ewwy-gewwy fudgy striped cake. Besides. It was into a clean sink (there was soap right?) and not the on the floor in front of the cat litter. Oh and thanks for making me crave chocolate, Bitch!
One should never ever waste a good cake, soap or no soap.
Twitter Name: alotofnothing
Totally understandable, I would’ve done the same thing. I mean, seriously, you can’t let good cake go to waste. :)
It’s just wrong to waste cake. Seriously. You did the right thing.
Twitter Name: momneedstherapy