I Love My Type B Kids

threedayweekend2To my children,

There’s been a lot of talk lately about us moms being “bad” or “Type B” which I take to mean that we aren’t fitting into what society has tried to feed us as the New Rules of Mothering. Instead, we may let you watch too much TV, eat sugary cereal, jump on the couches, go outside without the right coat, pick your nose, or draw all over your body with magic marker, all in an attempt to eke out a little “me” time to work, meditate, watch Oprah, sneak cookies or whatever.

And, while I can’t speak for everyone, I think I’m getting good results for my less-than-perfect effort. You guys are good kids, even with my lack of patience, short attention span, intermittent distractedness, and penchant for using electronics to buy myself some time alone.

I know I could do some things to be a better mom, but this isn’t a one-way street kiddos: you could step up your game too. In other words, if you want your mom to become that Perfect Specimen of Motherhood, you’re going to have to make some changes too.

For example,

1. If I cheerfully ask if you’ve done your morning chores, you will not look at me blankly, as if you’ve never heard the term “morning chores” even though we both know that they are written on a piece of paper hanging outside your bathroom door.

2. If I carefully create a full-course dinner with representation from all the major food groups using organic foodstuffs, you will eat it all cheerfully and proclaim me the best cook ever. You will not tell me that “dinner is yucky”, refuse to touch anything on your plate and then whine that you are h-u-n-g-r-y after I’ve cleaned up the dishes.

3. If we sit down to play a rousing game of Candy Land for the 10th time of the morning, you will not flip the board over in protest when you end up with Plumpy. No, a Type A Mother would not shuffle the cards to send you back to the beginning.

4. If I were to shut off your Lego Star Wars video game or your Webkinz session because I just want to spend more quality time with my children, you will not proclaim that I am “stupid” and that you want to “kick” me.

5. At bedtime, if I were to make it through our multi-step bedtime routine of PJ’s- brush teeth – story without yelling or complaints, you will not then jump all around your room until 9pm. No, a Type A child goes straight to sleep and does not wake her Type A mother until 8am.

See what I mean?

So, when you are ready to become a Type A child, just let me know and I’ll see what I can do. And, if you’d rather keep things the way they are, I’m ok with that too.

In fact, I’m better than ok with that.

Now, shhhh, I have this Tweet to answer.

Love, Mom

Christina is awesome. You can check out more of her occasional aiming low stories over at her site, Fairly Odd Mother.
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  1. IzzyMom says:

    I was raised as a Type B kid… We were thrust outside to play ALL DAY unsupervised, we ate a lot of junk, watched too much TV and a million other things that don’t really fly today and look how awesome *I* turned out :)

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  2. I was raised a Type B kid and I’m apparently a Type B parent, too. I like your list, though. It doesn’t sound plausible, but it still sounds nice.

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  3. I’m like a type Z. so is my kid.

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  4. We live for Candy Land moments like that in our house…. I know I could totally win if one of the kids chooses the card to send them back to square one! Same with Chutes and Ladders… HA HA HA you got sent down the big slide. Not as much fun now is it?!

    I’m gonna go check out the rest of your blog now… I think we might be bloggie twins!

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  5. Tina says:

    Love that list…I think my mom raised me a type D kid. I’m working pretty steadily at a B myself.

  6. Jennifer says:

    LOL at #4! Have you been hiding in my home?? This is so much like my son and I. Would a Type A mom let their kid always win on the Wii? Because I am so Type F on that one.

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  7. patois says:

    Here’s to Type B kids (and, ahem, their moms) everywhere!

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  8. Three cheers for all Type B housholds! We are fabulous – warts and all!

  9. mommabird2345 says:

    Seriously, is there even such a thing as a type A mom. EVERY mom I know is type B, including me. I really think type A is a myth. :)

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  10. Jayme says:

    I am so happy to hear that I am not the only B type parent out there. I was raised by amazing parents who worked between 40-60 hours a week and we ate dinner in front of the tv. At least we were together and I turned out amazing!

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  11. Tina says:

    I just find my days are to short to worry about “proper parenting” or what the books say…we do what works for us….and what we do must work I’ve got 4 kids who have straight A’s even though they miss school weekly for what we call mental health days (playing hookie). We live and let live and yes, there are days that we eat Tony’s Pizza in front of the TV or get out the door w/o brushing teeth. Life with kids is a ride…a HARD ride and not for the weak. Hugs and Love to the mother’s out there doing the what they can to hold on to the roller coaster.

  12. mom-101 says:

    Wait…morning chores?

    I may have to try that!

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