My husband Graham and I had just decided to head out to get a few groceries when my stomach began to growl.
“You wanna go out for some lunch before we get the groceries?” I asked. I hate to shop on an empty stomach. Doing so usually results in a shopping cart filled with impulse purchases like cookies, ice cream and that $27 brick of parmesan cheese.
He agreed and we were on our way. We brought our two month old son, Nathan with us, and sat him right in his carseat on top of the restaurant table. Nate slept through most of lunch, and when his slumber turned into mere doziness, we covered the carseat with a blanket to keep the bright restaurant lights out of his eyes.
When we were finished our lunch it was time to pay the bill. I stood up and dug through my wallet to find my debit card.
“You want to go and pay the bill while I go to the bathroom?” Graham asked.
I stood there, blinking at him, waiting for him to realize what he’d just asked me.
When it didn’t occur to him that he’d just suggested we abandon our new baby in a public place, I merely pointed to the carseat on the table.
“Oh yeah!” he said, as the lights upstairs came back on. “We have a baby now.”
I smiled and nodded.
“So I’ll go pay the bill and when I get back you can go to the bathroom, okay?” I said.
“Sounds good,” he answered.
So you see? Even dads can aim low on occasion.
- Translations for New Dads
- Boys (will) rock.
- A hospital is no place to have a baby.
- Recovering Do-It-All Mommy
- Falling from Grace. Again.
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
With our first, my husband once put the baby’s carseat on the ground in a Target parking lot. On a Saturday. He couldn’t find his keys, so he set the baby down IN THE MIDDLE of the aisle between cars to pat himself down.
I was all ‘wha..???!!”. Could not believe he put the baby in the path of numerous cars.
They try. Kind of.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
February 2, 2010 at 10:22 am
@Jess, Oh my goodness! It’s not like the baby is a purse or something!
Twitter: thecaffeinatrix
February 2, 2010 at 8:55 am
Although I can’t recall a specific occasion, I know stuff like that has happened to us…er I mean my husband.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
February 2, 2010 at 10:22 am
@IzzyMom, Yeah, especially when SLEEP DEPRIVED…
Dads forget about the kids way more than the moms.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
February 2, 2010 at 5:31 pm
@Jennifer, It’s because it isn’t THEIR boobs that the baby is often attached to…
My husband suggested we get tickets to the orchestra, for a concert taking place three weeks AFTER my due date. I had to remind him that we were going to have a baby and that we probably won’t be going out for awhile after the baby is born. I’m not sure he’s entirely happy about the timing of this.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
February 2, 2010 at 5:32 pm
@Sara, Tell him he’ll get to go to the orchestra. In like four years.
@Assertagirl, Ha ha! I think the part that scares me is that he didn’t remember that I’m having a baby. And yes, there will be more orchestra concerts. Lots of Carnival of the Animals to look forward to.
Twitter: LaurinEvans
February 2, 2010 at 4:04 pm
When the twins were six months old and asleep for the night in their cribs, I told Jack I was craving Taco Bell and he said he would go get some. I said brightly, “I’ll go with you!” He just shook his head at me.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
February 2, 2010 at 5:33 pm
@laurinevans, would that have been wrong?
Our son was born in the evening and after tucking me in and saying goodnight to him in the special care nursery hubby went home to bed.
Of course I was up ALL night feeding and getting used to the idea that I was a MOTHER! A MOTHER and of course my life had completely changed. I was now a happy slave to our son :) And my lower region was on FIRE!
I call hubby in the morning and what does he say? What does he SAY?!? “Why did you call so early, I am tired”.
Yep, apparently becoming a Mom is a tad different than becoming a Dad for most..
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
February 3, 2010 at 6:04 pm
@Amy, OH. MY. GOD. Did you kill him? My husband went and slept at home after our son was born, too. We figured there might as well be SOMEONE present who had slept at least a little bit.
@Assertagirl, No, didn’t kill him :) Wanted to though!
4 years later when we had our twin girls he got his though. One got bottle, the other breast (rotated of course). Gone were the newborn nights of him sleeping through it all, HE got the bottle! Since they were rather small they woke every 2 hours like clock work for MONTHS. Heh, hubby was so traumatized he got the snip snip when they were 6 months swearing he was NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN.
Men are wimps :)
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
February 3, 2010 at 9:54 pm
@Amy, You know how misery loves company? I just wanted to tell you that hearing your story about being up with two babies every two hours just made me feel so much better about being up with one baby every three or four hours, 10 weeks in.
His “snip snip” was probably nothing compared to giving birth to two babies!
@Assertagirl, No! After MONTHS of worrying about delivering the girls (no epidurals for non-complicated births in our hospital. HELLO! Twins? One of which was breech??) I was terrified!
Wouldn’t you know they arrived after 2.5 hours in a lovely hot shower, totally bearable labor! (I will not talk about the 5 min. doc had his hand in my womb turning twin b however.)
Hubby knew NOT to complain AT AL about his vasectomy :)
All the best with your new baby :) I love babies :)
Oh, poor Graham!!
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
February 3, 2010 at 6:04 pm
@Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle, He laughed at himself, at least!
i had taken my toddler to the store and he fell asleep on the way home. while he slept, i brought all the groceries in and put them away. then i threw in a load of laundry and started on the dishes. the laundry was almost dry when my doorbell rang. it was my next-door neighbor. “your baby is crying in the backyard!” she told me. i had left him in the car for about an hour and a half. luckily it was sopring and about 68 degrees and i had left the car windows down. otherwise it could have been very different. he was all red faced and snotty and had those hiccupping cries. i just hugged him and wondered how i could have forgotten about him for almost 2 hours. my son was surprisingly clingy that night! wonder why?
he’s 26 and i have never told him or his father about that.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
February 3, 2010 at 6:05 pm
@lee, Wow! Thanks for telling us your secret story. I just know I’m going to think about it every time I bring Nate in from the car now.
That is too funny! And can I just say…there will be many more moments where you both realize “oh yeah, we’ve got this kid now…” I have to share: one night (it was dark), my husband had my tot sleeping in the car and decided it was ok to go INTO THE LIQUOR STORE. Yep….He thought it was ok because he locked the car doors. Dumbass….
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
February 3, 2010 at 6:06 pm
@Tina, Right. Car doors are magic! Indestructible! Nobody ever broke into a locked car before, right?
Twitter: thismamaworksit
February 3, 2010 at 7:51 am
That is funny. Not really kid related but kinda. When my daughter first started daycare and I went back to work I was running on fumes. Well at the time I was still also bringing my doggy to doggy daycare. Well anyway I dropped of my daughter then headed to work. Doggie daycare is on the way. Well I totally forgot I had my dog in the car pulled into my parking spot at work then looked next to me to see my lab staring at my with a WTF look. It was priceless. So I had to leave work and bring her to doggy daycare.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
February 3, 2010 at 6:09 pm
@This Mama Works It!, I thought you were going to say that you took your baby to doggy daycare by accident. heh
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