This just makes me want to park in this space that much more:
But you see, I can’t – I can’t because I drive an enormous car. A huge SUV. A monster gas-guzzler that could literally crush any fuel efficient vehicle in its path. I know this, not only due to the laws of physics, but also because I recently witnessed a car accident in Bridgehampton where a buzzing little bee of a low emissions car pulled out of a space on 27 West and rammed directly into an SUV that was minding its own business… just driving along… The SUV remained unscathed while the weenie of an environmentally acceptable car had it’s hood up over the roof, lost front bumper and two front tires rolling down the street… Air bags popping all over the place. The driver was fine, a few bruises, but whoa. We were walking on the sidewalk when this happened right in front of us… I froze for a second, then grabbed my son and ran back to our SUV – - Yikes. What if another tiny car was to pull out of somewhere… And please get me out of there before the traffic reaches murderous levels. Witness? What? I didn’t see anything Officer… please move your little car… just, just GO!!!
Now, I don’t have anything against saving the universe, greening the planet or drivers of little cars… I’m quite for all of it, actually. I recycle, I buy organic–And you should just SEE the non-plastic shopping bag collection that I have compiled. I TRY….But I also prefer to have my family locked and strapped down in the most aggressive looking tank of a monster vehicle… especially when faced with putting ourselves in the hands of other drivers. Accidents happen, I’ve been there… and I would much rather clean the other car off of my SUV with a baby wipe than deal with the unthinkable.
And so, similar to that of handicapped parking–I will not park my massive car in the space reserved for fuel efficiency… because those drivers are clearly in need of special attention. I will not park there despite the fact that there are no special parking signs up, right against the new Southampton Post Office, for working moms that have to carry their 30lb–often wiggling to not be carried–children across the dangerous and poorly planned parking lot. The parking lot that contains massive SUVs as well as tiny cars that can pull out of somewhere at any given second and destroy themselves by brushing past other vehicles…. But oh, the overwhelming need to park in this space. The Boiling Blood that this sign was written and exists despite the fact that we sought out the safest possible car to drive our child around in. I’m sorry, did you say selfish? Did you say environment? I am parking here. I am parking my massive, gas devouring SUPREME UTILITY VEHICLE in this specially reserved, fuel efficient, move to the back of the bus, space… and I welcome your eyes of silent judgment. Come on, say something to me… it will be fun.
You can catch more of Ryan’s almost daily observations at her site, For the Birds. We promise, you will like it…and not just because she writes – sarcastically – about her giant SUV.
About Aiming Low Does Good
I parked next to a “talking car” once, an actual “Talking Car!” I was in my reserved parking space and this car was in someone else’s reserved parking space, not theirs. When I got out of my car, the car said, “YOU ARE PARKED TOO CLOSE. KINDLY MOVE YOUR CAR. YOU ARE PARKED TOO CLOSE. KINDLY MOVE YOUR CAR.” Of course I “didn’t” move my car and left a big fat note on the windshield of the car saying, “You Bitch car told me I was “parked too close” to the RESERVED parking space your Bitch car was parked in! If you find that your car as been “keyed” from front bumper to back bumper, I didn’t do it, . . . at least, not THIS time! Thank you, and have a nice day.”
I don’t let humans get away with being rude to me, who the hell thinks I’m going to let a CAR do it!
I agree! I have a minivan which I like to call the MILF mobile. And I feel so much safer having my family in a larger vehicle. Especially when there are so many idiots on the road.
There is a lady who drives one of those ttiinnyy smart cars all over town, I saw her the other day & thought ” if we both got hit, by a big ass truck, you’d die, for sure. There is NOTHING to those cars!! And the Prius? The first model, IDK about now, but my DH was like “this is carbon, its going to squash if it gets hit..”
I’m all for being green but atleast in my non fuel efficient but fully loaded small-medium sized SUV/wagon/car, I know I’ll be alive to KEEP being green!!
Twitter Name: mom2aroo
Applause from another SUV driver (though it’s mid-sized, not humongous, so you’d probably squash me like a slightly larger bug).
We have a SUV and a minivan and we still pack the offspring in like it was a clown car. I once pondered parking in the expectant mothers only spot at the PETCO thinking I could use my potbelly as proof. Guilt got the better of me and I found a metered spot a mile away.
I drive a big SUV, too. And I love it! You have to figure that those driving an environmentally friendly car are also into the outdoors and fitness…so they can walk the extra few steps! Give that spot to a pregnant lady or mom with newborn.
Twitter Name: mymessyparadise
I’m glad I’m not the only warped mind who thinks about shit like this. Seriously, you’re saving the environment blah blah freaking blah, but you’re totally gonna die if you like a bird lands on your windshield because your car totally sucks and the wind is going to take it away should it blow 15 MPH.
Also, one time I parked in the expectant mothers space and my son acted like I was committing the biggest crime. I was all “What are they going to do, make me pee on a stick?” The wheels were turning in his head… I know he wanted clarification but it was just too much fun to visualize him visualizing me peeing on a stick from a tree….
Twitter Name: lotsospermies
Recently I have seen a large number of “Smart” cars driving on the freeways at high speeds. First, I always expect to see little feet pedaling along under them a la Fred Flinstone, but sadly never do. I live in Texas, and in Texas, 9 out of 10 cars are built like Army tanks. They sit up higher, and can quite possibly bounce off of small road blocks without a scratch. There is no possible way a “Smart” car will survive if it happens to come within 1 foot of any other vehicles on the road. I am all for being green and helping the environment, but only if I get to live long enough to enjoy it.
When I was in college there was a parking space at the edge of the faculty spots. It had a sign at the end of it that said Faculty Parking and had an arrow pointing right. Technically, I think that was still a faculty spot, and it was usually free b/c students thought it was a faculty spot – therefore it was MY parking spot. I always felt confident that I could argue the sign was saying faculty parking started the next spot over, and I got a little thrill out of parking there when I was pretty sure I really wasn’t supposed it. Wow, it’s really kind of sad though that I thought that much and got that excited over a parking spot though, huh?
Gah! I can’t believe this exists but am equally shocked that it’s not in California! Good for you for parking there – I think you should always do that if you can. It’s like letting them drive in the carpool lane. Don’t get me wrong-I’m all for saving the planet, but why do these people need all this “extra special” attention. I mean people who are sincere don’t need everyone to know about what they’re doing to save the planet, they just do it.
To clarify, it’s not special treatment. Those perks are called incentives, intended to motivate more people to carpool and drive fuel efficient cars.
The thing that REALLY ticks me off is that I drive a diesel VW Jetta. My fuel consumption is MUCH BETTER than the hybrid cars, yet I am somehow vilified because I don’t have a hybrid. This makes no sense. If you look at the hybrids, for the time when they’re using gasoline, their fuel consumption is HUGE. And unless they’ve changed since the last time I looked at them, they only use the battery when they’re travelling less than 40 km/hr (24 mph). So really, they use fuel most of the time anyway, at least where I live, as traffic routinely travels around 60 km/h (37 mph) in the city.
ARGH. I get more than 800 miles per tank of gas – somewhere around 60-65 mpg. The only one that comes anywhere close is the Prius at 50 mpg (at least in the 2007 model year). *Growl*
Twitter Name: S_cerevisiae
It’s kind of like when you go to Baby’s R Us after you’ve had the baby, and you’re like, “Why the hell don’t they have parking for mother’s of newborns?” And you’re just dying to park in one of those pregnant-women only parking spaces, because now you are not just carrying around a new baby, but a new baby in a 50-lb car seat.
Twitter Name: Melissa Siig
@Mountain Momma, Here in BC they DO have parking spots reserved for parents of little ones. Where the heck were they when my twins were babies I ask?! Memories of dragging TWO car seats into the store, while trying to contain the 4 year old!
I like the IDEA of the smart cars but me thinks not such a smart place to be sitting in case of an accident. I drive a Jeep Wrangler :)