18 years of The Lazy.

It started with a zygote.

And now?

My oldest is turning 18.  I have no idea how that happened…I mean, I’m only 25.  Ok so my pants are on fire.  Add one or 2 or 10 or 14 years….whatever.

My point is…I honestly don’t know how she got to be her.  She’s nice, funny, decent, caring, Christian.  Can’t stand her siblings sometimes but will fiercely defend them to the death.  Takes crap from no one but has a heart of gold. She IS a little too snarky sometimes which, I have NO idea where THAT comes from….it’s certainly not her parents….or her parents’ friends.

I worry because at times she doesn’t seem to care.  She skims by on many things and I wonder if she’s just going to get lost in the stream and I will find her one day sitting on the sidewalk with her clarinet playing “nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen”.

Then other times I see her caring waaaay too much about a situation that shouldn’t warrant that.  The days that she wears her heart on her sleeve and I’m afraid someone is going to come by and snatch it.  Someone who doesn’t deserve it.

And still….I’m wondering how she got to be, well, a great person.  I’m not one of those “supermoms” that is able to get up in the morning, make breakfasts and lunches, get everyone up and going, go to work, come home, make dinner, make dessert, clean the kitchen, get some laundry done and set out clothes for tomorrow, take a shower, go to bed and start it all over again in the morning.  ME?  You should count yourself lucky if I speak to you without scaring your socks off when I get up.  I HATE waking up.  To say that I am not a morning person, well that’s another couch session.

I also never was able to master the imaginary magic of such things as The Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny or Santa Claus. Apparently, Kill Joy became my middle name when I became a mother.

When my children became toothless?  Here’s a dollar kid, don’t spend it all in one place.  I don’t have time to remember to put a stupid quarter underneath their pillow…seriously, I have dishes piling up from dinner that I’m not doing.

The presents that get put out on Christmas Eve and your stocking that is “magically” filled?  I only wanted to hide some of the presents so you would be excited….No, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus.

And don’t get me started on the Easter Bunny.  My mind goes to the “Easter Yeggs” (I want an Easter egg!)  episode of the Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Halloween?  When I was kid I hated going door-to-door begging for candy.  I’m certainly not going to be dressing up my kids and making them schlep door-to-door.  I tried to find parties but usually to no avail (it’s hard when you don’t have friends, are too lazy to take them, never mind).  So I made up a “family tradition”.  We’ll sit on the floor on a blanket in front of the TV with nothing but junk/snack foods and watch spooky movies -age appropriate of course….I’m a LAZY mother not a bad one.

I never neglected or abused them.  Never left them alone inappropriately.  In fact when the oldest one turned 12 the pediatrician asked if I leave her home alone at all.  I replied an emphatic “NO” with an emphasis on the unspoken “what kind of mother do you think I am?”  To which he responded, “At this age you should start leaving them alone for an hour at a time to…blah…blah….blah”.  That’s all I heard because that’s when I truly started realizing my kids were going to grow up

…and start doing their own things.

….and move out.

Soon they won’t have to call when they are leaving school to walk home and then call again to let me know they got there safely.  Soon they won’t have to ask permission to go see their friends or go to a movie (of my choosing).  Soon they will start finding people to network with on their own without my guidance.  Soon, they won’t be asking me for anything.

I can’t help but hope that my unimaginative, non-supermom abilities haven’t impeded their chance at getting what they want out of life. I hope they understand that MY laziness doesn’t have to be THEIR laziness.

They should find their own.

We LOVE this post!  Thank you so much, Kara, for submitting it to us, it’s like our new parenting mission statement!