The Bachelor – As It Happened
Quiet down people, quiet down, it’s time for your weekly Bachelor recap. I had to watch last week’s episode twice to catch all the crazy so this week I decided to watch with my computer. It took me about ten minutes to realize that my post was writing itself. Seriously this couldn’t be much easier. So without further ado here are my thoughts as they happened.
Chris Harrison in a purple striped shirt…I’m not sure how I feel about this.
Jake, my dear boy, you have one to many buttons undone on that shirt. Obviously the producers noticed because it is corrected (buttoned) in the interview scenes.
Girls, I realize you are trying to shine in front of 14 other girls but conveniently being in your bathing suits when you know he is coming isn’t all that subtle. Actually, it’s not subtle at all.
I’m not sure I have the words for this photo shoot, it has trouble written ALL over it. Oh jeez, he’s shirtless again, that isn’t awkward at all.
Oh. Em. Gee. The photographer has a total porn stache. How are these girls keeping a straight face.
Cripes Ashleigh, the costume-change into the bikini. Really? That’s your game plan. I will give you that you look amazing in it but what did you expect would happen when you “bikini bust” one girl. That girl will go get the others and they all “bikini bust” you. You FAIL.
I’m so disturbed by Rozlyn. I don’t like how she rolls her eyes in her interviews and I really don’t care for how…just icky she is. I think she clearly has VD. Too harsh?
The screaming whenever the doorbell rings is really getting on my fucking nerves.
Michelle, we need to have a talk. Uggs are by their very nature warm and cozy, therefore perfectly suited to colder temperatures. Following this logic I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you cease and desist wearing them with booty shorts that look like underwear.
Jake you take the girl TERRIFIED to fly on a plane on your first date, CHARMING dude. Four seaters are not for the faint of heart.
I had no idea that On the Wings of Love was an actual song. I’m honestly a little bit surprised that no one stopped it from playing in the episode. Is there anyone who didn’t think that was way to much cheese.
Michelle, I tried to like you but good god, you are crazypants! The way you glare and lick your lips, I’m kind of afraid of you.
I find Ali completely adorable which means she will be going home soon. I’m QUICKLY losing faith in Jake’s decision-making abilities. Perhaps the reason he is still single no?
Sidebar: I LOVE the band Chicago. Is that wrong? Of all the movies and bands I know nothing of, I love Chicago.
There are an abundance of crazy eyes in this group of girls at the amusement park.
Written love notes, oh dear god, why, this isn’t junior high. Also you are not old fashioned by dating 15 girls at once and kissing most of them Jason.
Did Rozlyn really just use the word beyotch on TV? Really? People do that?
Perhaps, just perhaps Michelle is going crazy because she is in a house of loons. I hold out the tiniest of hopes for her sanity if she makes it tonight.
OMG, I feel almost giddy at the reveal of the DRAMA. It’s like she knows it’s coming and she’s smirking. Chris Harrison, you look genuinely uncomfortable, I’m proud of you (considering it’s sincere). Is she really making this argument and being upset about it? How did she really think she would talk her way out of this? I’m sorta proud of her for making a scene and sticking to her personality. I do feel like the timing of the “reveal” is weird, I mean during the cocktail party, that’s honestly when they found out. All I have to say is this, Jake, this should be your clue that you maybe aren’t making the best decisions about who stays and who goes. This will make for awesome “after the rose” special material though. How could not one other girl have known about this really. You can’t hide shit like that.
I’m confused as to how I still don’t recognize the names of some of these girls. He called out “Valeshia” and I’m all “who….” Also, “Jessie”, what, who is that girl?
I swear they make him choose Michelle last JUST to get her crazy eyes for that much longer.
Oh wait…she wasn’t last…OH more crazy eyes from Ashley and Christina.
Honestly I’m a little disappointed in the end result. I don’t feel like the drama lived up to the hype. There is always next week though.
Until then my fellow watchers, until then.
- Enough With the Fake Coffee Drinking, Hollywood!
- Teenyboppers, I do not heart you.
- This? Is not OK: Pet Food Edition
- We Don't Work on the Sabbath Known as School Holidays
- Marcia, Marcia, Marcia
Supposedly Related Posts (handpicked by monkeys):
Comments
Twitter: alimartell
so, this is what I read about the whole “OHMYGODTHISHASNEVERHAPPENEDBEFORE” drama went down. so, apparently, rozlyn has a kid – and the show lied to her and told her she was going to be able to call him every day. and they didn’t let her, they even told her not to tell Jake until THEY wanted her to. They wanted to send her and her son to Seaworld on a 1-on-1 date but her ex wouldn’t sign the papers so the show lost interest in her and the son and didn’t want him on the show.
I guess she got upset an told some of the girls at the house and then lashed out on camera. and I guess maybe one of the crew members intervened and maybe tried to console her? and she wanted to leave. and the show realized that she was going to be a problem, so they needed her off the show, so they concocted this “inappropriate relationship” scenario, even though, apparently, nothing happened with this crew member. CRAZY
alimartell´s last blog ..Snow Day
I heard something VERY different about Rozyln. Read this link and you will be SHOCKED. I feel bad for her, if it’s is true. Very bad: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Classy-Chaos-Blog/429887990312?ref=mf
OHmommy´s last blog ..And so, it begins. Again.
@OHmommy, I have no idea whats true and whats not. If she was in fact kept from her son then I do feel bad for her. However, I do still think her actions that were shown usually came across in poor taste.
@jenbshaw, I think that’s the whole point. To hand pick the scenes that make her look back. All the actions that were shown were picked by ABC.
The link said that ABC cut out many scenes of her crying and cursing ABC. I find this very interesting.
OHmommy´s last blog ..And so, it begins. Again.
@OHmommy, GAH. To hand pick the scenes that make her look bad. Is what I meant. Stoopid fingers typing too fast.
OHmommy´s last blog ..And so, it begins. Again.
I thought the on the wings of love was a bit cheesy too. I think some of the girls knew. Like the one from Tn that has the kid and that Jake gave the birthday cupcake too. There was a few with smirks on their faces when Chris told what was going on. Or maybe they were just happy about it…ha.
Love your recap. I wish I had the capacity to adequately describe my feelings toward the Bachelor. Watching the Bachelor to me is like eating icing straight out of the container…that’s the closest metaphor I can come up with. I mean, it’s just so cheesy and corny and trashy and made of all the best things in life. I don’t’ even know their names, but I have nicknames for a couple…Jelly Beans for the girl whose kitschy gift was jelly bean bags for a parting gift….Lumpy is the love note girl with the terrible boob job. Looney Tunes is Michelle because she is CAAARRRAAAAZZZYYYY! On the wings of love was absolutely atrocious but I KNEW that would happen. I’d bet money that they’ll play “Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong” before it’s all said and done. I loved Ali, she was the only girl I didn’t’ want to kick in the teeth.
Amanda Austin´s last blog ..Thank you, Jesus, for The Bachelor
@Amanda Austin, You are so right it is just like eating icing out of the can, complete with that slightly sick feeling afterwards that you hate but you totally know you are going to do it again anyway.
Who needs to watch the bachelor when your awesome ass recaps it so well? Oh, but you failed to mention how “VD Rozlyn” showed everyone at the photoshoot her vagango. I think that’s the editors’ way of foreshadowing.
Hippo Brigade´s last blog ..Breastfeeding Ain’t for Sissies
@Hippo Brigade, I’m pretty sure I shut my eyes when she was participating in the photo shoot. I was afraid, very afraid.
I’m so glad you’re providing the recaps, because I did watch the premiere and now I won’t have to watch again until the end! And your reports are so much more entertaining…
floribunda´s last blog ..something done!
@floribunda, thanks for the love! As long as people like it I’ll recap all the way to the trash-tas-tic.
The Bachelor is back on?????
Shauna´s last blog ..I should totally write bios for a living.
Twitter: Assertagirl
I’m a firm believer that Uggs are never appropriate attire, regardless of the climate.
assertagirl´s last blog ..The mom in the mirror.
This show is rubbish. Don’t hate me. LOL
Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle´s last blog ..Pop
OK, I really, really tried to watch. I saw something on the news about the girl who got kicked off, and they were really trying to use that story to get people to watch. So, I started (ONLY FOR YOU), and quickly put it on mute to watch Friday Night Lights.
i will try again next week.
Allison´s last blog ..1,572 Miles
Well. I gave up on the bachelor after reading Reality Steve. And yes, ROZLYN (why spell it that way?) was duped, but she’s also a douche.
I think I’ll just read your recaps instead of watching – way funnier!
MK´s last blog ..The dress
Just want to say your article is striking. The clarity in your post is simply striking and i can take for granted you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission allow me to grab your rss feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the ac complished work. Excuse my poor English. English is not my mother tongue.
Hello. This is kind of an “unconventional” question , but have other visitors asked you how get the menu bar to look like you’ve got it? I also have a blog and am really looking to alter around the theme, however am scared to death to mess with it for fear of the search engines punishing me. I am very new to all of this …so i am just not positive exactly how to try to to it all yet. I’ll just keep working on it one day at a time Thanks for any help you can offer here.