
And by balls, I mean testicles.
These are my Santa Pants.
I have worn them every year, throughout the month of December, for the past 8 years.
Yes, I wear them outside of the house. But really only to get the mail or put up the Christmas lights. Maybe to get gas. I don’t wear them to Target or the grocery store. I have standards.
Not being featured on “People of WalMart” is one of my New Years Resolutions this year.
Plus, I’m not entirely convinced that I won’t be arrested for indecent exposure when I wear them.
But really, who doesn’t love fuzzy Christmas testicles?
Assholes, that’s who.
- So I don't have to hang out at gay bars...
- Christmas With the Crankies, Part II
- Why pay a professional like me when you can do it yourself?
- Our Holiday Gift Guide & Giveaway: Knock Knock
- Our Holiday Gift Guide Giveaway: And by *glass* of wine I mean *bottle.*










{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
I just don’t even know what to say to you right now, other than I want a pair of those PRONTO!
Twitter: motherbumper
December 17, 2009 at 10:10 am
Nice balls *snicker*
Twitter: themaggers
December 17, 2009 at 10:54 am
I’m sorry about your undescended santa ball ;-)
Twitter: alotofnothing
December 17, 2009 at 11:33 am
How the hell do you still wear the same pants for 8 years? Don’t you gain the 10 pounds a year you’re supposed to?
Or maybe that’s just me.
Twitter: LovinStilettos
December 17, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Nice balls! haha
:)
All I want to know is where I can get some of those. I need fuzzy balls too!
Twitter: Sweet_Life
December 17, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Will you promise to wear those next time I come to visit? I want to see your fuzzy balls in person. And maybe fondle them.
Fuzzy bulls…Love it.
Twitter: lpgill
December 17, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Now THOSE are the right kind of fuzzy balls to have. (As opposed to the ones that require man-scaping.) :)
I am actually speechless :-)
Twitter: mamaspohr
December 18, 2009 at 1:19 am
almost as good as schwetty balls.
I always knew you had balls! ;-P
Twitter: VDog
December 20, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Can I touch them?
I’m catching up on my Reader. This is the second post about balls I’ve read today. That fact alone makes my day, as do these pants.
Those pants are FIERCE. If I ever see you at Walmart, sorry but I’m taking a pic and sending it over to the good People of Walmart. LOL
{ 1 trackback }