Ok maybe that is a little bit harsh. I don’t hate Christmas per say. There are just certain aspects that make me want to go all Grinch on everyone.
1. Tacky yard decorations. I’m all about decorating one’s house. I even like lots of decorations. HOWEVER, your yard should not look like something threw up on it. Plan it out, have a little logic, perhaps even a theme. Also, this is important, yard decorations have a lifespan, they get old. If you aren’t getting what I’m saying let me be clear. THROW OUT THE OLD ONES.
2. Inflatable yard decorations. I’m sorry there is just no reason for these things. EVER. I hate them with the fire of a thousand burning suns. Every year I fantasize about taking a sharp object to them. I used to only have to deal with this anger once a year. Now it seems they make these damn things for every holiday. Clearly someone in the yard decoration field hates me.
3. Christmas music on the radio BEFORE Halloween. I don’t think I really need to say anymore about this.
4. Overly decorated trees. I know you will all find this hard to believe but I can’t stand it when Christmas trees look all jumbly. I feel the need for an overall theme or “look”. I have several sets of ornaments in different colors and I change them every year. I have several little trees (like 2 foot ones) that I put my cutesy ornaments on. I have an Illini tree, a hunting tree and a tree for all of my S’mores ornaments.
5. Mall Santas. Seriously I am terrified of the Santas at malls. They creep me right the eff out. I’m sure in some towns they are genuinely nice old men who love children and all that jazz but every one I’ve ever seen looks like a creepy old pervert in a Santa suit. I was at the mall two weeks ago and COULD NOT make myself stop and get my son’s picture taken with Santa. I got all the way down to the little area and I panicked. I had to go back this last weekend with my mom in tow to help me. Doesn’t it just figure that when we got to the front of the line my mom was conveniently busy filling out some form to win a Wii. WTF mom! I had to walk up to that creepy ass Santa and hand him my son. I think Chase is clearly just to terrified to cry…or maybe he is confused by the look of sheer terror on my face.
*please note the first two pictures are not mine. I mean to go take pictures of some yards in my neighborhood. That would have required work and you know leaving the house. Obviously I chose to just “borrow” from the internet. Aiming Low FTW!
- What the Hell Does Aiming Low Mean?
- Fashion Plate- and now I'm thinking about food.
- Drink WIN Drink FAIL
- The Rules According to Meghan
- And I'm a little bit angry.
{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s “per se” not “per say.” It’s Latin.
@Jack, ummm….noted…thanks.
Oh I hate yards that have way to much decorations in them.
Twitter: shaunaglenn
December 2, 2009 at 9:54 am
You’re right. You ARE the Grinch. But a very sexy Grinch. And also, you have nice hair.
@Shauna, Shauna gets 10 bonus points!
Twitter: AMomTwoBoys
December 2, 2009 at 10:35 am
You are such a freak.
@AMomTwoBoys, what.ever.Meghan.
I’m with you on the blow up decorations thing. There was a house close to where I used to live who had about 8 big blow up Christmas things in their small yard. Like I seriously don’t know how they got into their house, there were that many. Frosty, The Abominable Snowman, Grinch, toy soldiers, Santa, and of course the classic Christmas display piece, “Penguins in a Snow Globe”. It was atrocious. I want to shoot those things with lawn darts.
@Amanda Austin, I think we should go on an outing together, we could have serious amounts of fun.
Twitter: LovinStilettos
December 2, 2009 at 11:13 am
What really pisses me off is that my favorite radio station starting playing ONLY christmas music in October and it doesn’t stop until New Years. I am LIVID!!!
@Michelle, I hope you have written them a very strongly worded letter of protest, if not, I will do it for you. Asinine I say.
Do not be so harsh. Some of us live and thrive off of erratic and eclectic displays. How else would we get our amusement?
I agree with your take on outside decorations 100%- wrote a blog about it last week myself…http://adayinthelifeinthemomlane.blogspot.com/2009/11/christmas-on-crack.html
I think people who decorate till their house looks like the north pole on crack must have some serious issues…now the santa from your picture actually looks pretty real….wonder if the beard is real? if it is… ewww for the rest of the year…
@Barb, I’m almost positive the beard was real…yes ewww…
When my first-born was three, she BIT the Mall Santa. Do you have any idea the amount of paper work you need to fill out if your kid bites the Mall Santa? And how fun it is to fill out said paperwork while your defiant child howls, kicks and insists that Mall Santa deserved it because he was “stinky?” Good Times.
@TheKitchenWitch, Ummm your kid is my HERO. I really think you should write up a post about that for us.
I am with you on ALL of this stuff!! Man oh man do I ever HATE tacky crap – and manufacturers, if you wouldn’t make it, PEOPLE COULDN’T BUY IT!! Mall Santas are the devil personified, overly decorated trees are both a fire AND a falling-over hazard… holiday music should begin on Dec 1, and be entirely over by Jan 1. Thanks for speaking up. This kinda crap makes me rather “bah humbug!” myself.
@Grumble Girl, I like the way you think!
Twitter: alimartell
December 2, 2009 at 1:03 pm
oh…any christmas decorations on the outside of a home MUST be tasteful. otherwise, they are SO not allowed.
I’m with you, lady, Grinch or not.
Twitter: AmazingGreis
December 2, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Love the picture of Chase with Santa. Santa may be a little creepy, but Chase is cuter than ever!!!!
-The house accross the street from me has 8 lovely glowing blow-up decorations. It’s like a horrible tacky nightlight. After Christmas, they will blow-up their “Support our troops” blow-up that remains when holidays don’t interfere. Who knew such a thig existed?
-Last year, our mall Santa (in TN) called to my kids by yelling “Hey ya’ll” instead of hohoho. My kids both burst into tears and we made a run for it.
Jen I swear I’ve seen you somewhere before, are you sure you weren’t taking pictures of my yard? (no, not really I don’t have anything up yet)
Jen,
I just might do that. It was one of my most humiliating moments as a mother…
Twitter: motherbumper
December 2, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Mall Santas are up there with my clown phobia. I still have the mental scars from being forced onto Santa’s lap at age five by my nana. I still am in therapy over that one.
I absolutely ABHOR those lawn globes. What the fuck is up with those?
agree with you wholeheartedly. have been posting about it myself esp the music… also? why are we completely decking our blogs. Imma’ gonna hurl.
Twitter: Issascrazyworld
December 2, 2009 at 8:55 pm
I was just laughing at my neighbors house this morning. They have all inflatable things and they are all flat dead plastic crap looking things in the day time.
Twitter: sarahbellum
December 2, 2009 at 9:33 pm
My biggest pet peeve is colored lights. It must be the OCD in me, but I can’t deal with that many colors not grouped together. I need white/clear lights or screw Christmas and take me straight to NYE, you know for the booze.
Twitter: thecaffeinatrix
December 3, 2009 at 12:19 am
I used to be all about the theme trees and coordinated decorations but then I had kids and those pretty glass balls just don’t work with little ones. So now we just put up all the fun, goofy, made-at-school, TOTALLY uncoordinated stuff. Makes the kids happy.
I do however, get to dictate the outdoor decorations and I prefer white lights and no inflatables. And no fucking Christmas music before Thanksgiving, dammit. (I will confess to driving my kids past OTHER people’s inflatable stuff, though, because it makes them irrationally joyful to see those silly things)
Hey! I know that photo! It come from TackyChristmasYards.com
Twitter: brigidday
December 11, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Picture of the Illini tree please. I have one ornament, but a whole tree, I’d love to see.
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