The first happened in 4th grade when I wasn’t allowed to watch The Cosby Show (pre-VCR, pre-DVR, pre-HULU). My parents dared to keep me from my favorite show.
I showed them.
I had an anxiety attack. As a 9-year-old 4th grader. I can trace my crazy back that far.
They didn’t know what was happening to me, so they drove me to the ER and called in my pediatrician to meet us there. I remember being rushed into the ER with my doctor waiting for me.
I also remember my doc telling my parents that if it happened again, they should just throw me in the pool. She teased that she, too, was missing The Cosby Show and the next time I need to come to the ER, make sure it’s not on a Thursday night. A doc’s gotta get her shows on.The crazy is now rearing its pussy head through the BC pills I’m taking.
Seems this brand of BC pills (Yaz) are making my fuse short and my weeny anxiety issues flower. Thanks, hormones! You suck big fat sweaty donkey balls.
I’ve never been treated for anxiety – just put on anxiety meds and depression meds.
Dear Drug Makers, I love you. Peace & love – peace & love, Me
They’ve worked up until recently, but with the extra estrogen floating around through my lovely lady lumps, the meds are holding on by their wee fingernails.
Seems going to the grocery store with two kids is too much for me. My brain gets all fogged up, and I leave with frozen corn, a bag of cheese, and juice boxes. No dinners. No lunches.
Just me in a fog w/ two kids begging for a cookie.
Leave me alone w/ two begging kids for more than 4 hours smack in the middle of dinner time? Can’t take it. Must leave the house. (Please don’t call DCF – I usually take the kids with me.)
My refuge is my lappy. In the car, I spend the entire time driving thinking about what I need to do for my business, on my blog, on Twitter, around the house, for my new site. But as soon as I sit down and pick up the lappy, my brain stops. Much like what happens at the grocery store.
I can’t cook a meal unless there are under 5 ingredients, I’ve made it before, the counters are completely clean, and all dishes are done. Otherwise, the crazy head rears, and I can’t function.
I’m pretty sure a lot of this can be attributed to a lack of sleep because SOMEBODY gets all gropey in his sleep. And SOMEBODY else can’t close the lappy.
I’m thinking this post may come back and bite me in my lady lumps, but I need to get it out. And make fun of it.
Cause what good is having an issue if you can’t make fun of it?
Just please don’t ask me to cook you dinner. Or go to the grocery store. Or watch your kids. And back the eff off Mama’s pills.
___________________________________
This post was written back in March ’09. I’ve been off the Yaz since then, but I still remember the crazy. Know the crazy before you start taking them. The crazy is not your friend.
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
I took birth control one time in my life, and never-ever again. It made me bruise, it made me gain weight, and it made me a little cray-cray. Maybe I’m still cray-cray from it? Or the kids that I didn’t prevent from happening with said BC pills?
Twitter: alotofnothing
December 21, 2009 at 10:09 pm
@Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle,
our best birth control?
vasectomy
I have had anxiety my whole life. I have never had meds until a few months ago. I want to write love letters to Ativan now.
Twitter: alotofnothing
December 21, 2009 at 10:10 pm
@Mandi Bone,
i love my zoloft more than some of my family members.
Oh lord… we are the same person, I think. Maybe I need some meds – I’m paralysed by all the shit I have to do, my kids make me bonkers all the time. I like the mary jane at night, but what to do in the day? Drink?! No… bad idea. Holiday meds might be the better idea. Oy.
Twitter: alotofnothing
December 21, 2009 at 10:11 pm
@Grumble Girl,
i wish for the mary jane.
Twitter: MommaIncredible
December 21, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Nothing but good thoughts Momma!
And here’s hoping you get a maid who cooks for Christmas. Or a nanny. ;)
Twitter: alotofnothing
December 21, 2009 at 10:13 pm
@Heather,
i do have a house cleaner, and my mom cooks christmas.
GUARANTEED WIN!
I started taking BC pills when I was a teen, and have taken them ever since. (I just turned 30). And I’ve taken all different kinds, whatever the clinics were prescribing at the time. And I will never forget my experience with Yaz! I am the most laid back, go with the flow, nothing ruffles my feathers type of gal. But when I was on Yaz every single little irritation was absolutely infuriating. Like boiling rage over the stupidest stuff. My poor boyfriend at the time! I was ready to kill him over leaving shoes in the hallway, having the fridge open to long, loosing the cap to the milk jug, anything! The rage I felt was such a strong emotion I had never felt it before, and haven’t felt it since I stopped taking the pills.
I’m down with the crazy train, but screw the angry train!!
Twitter: alotofnothing
December 21, 2009 at 10:13 pm
@The Other Heather,
people have been sharing their story with me. apparently, it’s bad bad stuff.
I get these spam law firm emails that I have never read that the subject is the dangers of Yaz…I was on othro novum tri cyclen lo for years and it was perfect. In fact I may go back on it because I like pills and since my Dr. hates me and won’t give any more xanax utnil february I need to pop something. (hee hee just kidding)It might be worth looking into whats out there on Yaz.
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