Over the years, I have shed a few of my insecurities and become pretty comfortable in my own skin.
That is to say that I accept and acknowledge the fact that I’m good for a meltdown here and there, a tear shed over a half-frozen hot pocket and a paranoia about whether or not the neighbors talk about the fact that we never sweep our front porch.
At 35, I’m too tired to care about my faults anymore. They’re not going anywhere.
For the most part, PMS isn’t a huge factor for me. I have been on the pill for the past 15 years and I do my best to exercise to avoid being a raging lunatic. Sure, I get tired, eat way more meat than normal and have less patience. I may, or may not, cry during a Zales commercial and I might tell Laef he is doing it wrong when he is breathing.
Which often leads me to wonder: Am I going to be a sane pregnant woman or am I going to be a mess?
I’m sure it will be a combination of both, but I am nervous just thinking about it.
Mainly because after 15 years, I have finally gone off the pill in preparation for the big leap of motherhood, and let’s just say, my body doesn’t know what the fuck is going on.
I am: Tired. CRANKY. Hot. Headachey. Bloated. Blah. Can’t think straight at work. Forgetful. Teary. Psycho.
So, we will see what kind of pregnant lady I am. Hopefully the cute, happy kind*.
*Is that a real kind?
About Anissa Mayhew
oooh! Good Luck!
and I don’t know if there is a happy kind?! Hopefully, you’ll be the groundbreaking first?!
Twitter Name: mommahopeful
@Heather, I totally want to be the first. Check that. My husband wants me to be the first. :)
I always see cute pregnant girls and I wonder how the hell these girls get to be cute and pleasant during pregnancy. I think other people look at you and see the cute pregnant girl. But we look at ourselves like the crazy, psychotic, hormonal, fat pregnant girl. Cute pregnant girls do exist, but it’s hard to see that in yourself when your body is going through so many crazy changes!!
Good luck! :)
Twitter Name: LovinStilettos
@Michelle, Yes, I’m pretty sure that no matter how many nice things people say, I’m still going to feel like a bloated mess.
Negative Ghost Rider.
Cute, happy, bubbly pregnant ladies hang out with Santa and the Easter Bunny.
@AJ, I figured as much.
I had one wife who was blissful, horny, and always happy. I enjoyed her pregnancy a lot. The other wife, not so much. Still, it could be just that your body is freaking out because it’s habit has been broken. Who knows, you might be perfect.
@Ross, Ha. I’m so far from perfect that there is no way I will be blissful. But, you have given me hope!
By your description it sounds like you are already pregnant! Congratulations!! And for the record, I am a pleasant pregnant girl. I can say this because before I was pregnant I was a psycho bitch….so yes, we do exist! ( :
@Lindsey, That would be a record, I think. Pregnant after only being off the pill for a month?
@Allison, Happens all the time. But for safety purposes you’re supposed to wait 3 full cycles before you try. My best friend just got pregnant the first month after going off the pill and it didn’t go well. It’s really best to wait. You’re body is probably just flipping out from being allowed to self regulate after 15 years. :o) It’s got no idea what to do!
@Amy, duh, *your
You can totally be a cute, happy pregnant girl. I don’t think I was happy (not sure on the cute) and not crazy or weird, but hubby raises his one eyebrow whenever I say this. I think the greatest thing EVER about pregnancy is the sex. After talking with several of my guy friends, though, I guess women like me are the minority, but pregnancy sex is the.best.sex.EVER. OMG – loved pregnant sex.
Good luck! I hope you’re happy and cute. And horny. Because once that kid comes, you become the human equivalent of the cow and are are exhausted. But only for a while and it’s worth it. Babies are awesome! Espeically your own.
@halfdome621, I meant I was happy – I really loved being pregnant.
@halfdome621, You just got me (and my husband) really excited. :)
Uh, no. That kind of pregnant lady doesn’t exist unless she smokes weed every day. And even then, it’s apparent that an alien species has taken over her body causing not only glowy skin and cuteness, but also a not-huge ass.
(so says a woman pregnant with her third kid, who got pregnant while on the pill, and is one of those completely insane psycho preggos who glare at people and snatch food off the plates of young children)
Twitter Name: dudesweetie
OK, your body is just all wonky from the pill withdrawal. I am sure you will be a blissfully happy, horny as ever, pregnant girl.
It’s super fun!
Twitter Name: barefootfoodie
It just like when you gave crack cocaine cold turkey after 15 years. It took your body a while to adjust.
Oh, wait.
Well, you get my point.
Twitter Name: AMomTwoBoys
I am a natural crazy woman, which only intensifies when I am PMS’ing. Fully expected to be awful while pregnant. Apologized for the insanity to come, for years prior to getting pregnant. It was all for naught. I wasn’t all crying/pissy/etc. like I expected. You never know.
I Just came off The Pill after being on it for 3 years, and my body is going crazy too. Haven’t had my period since the end of October, and I’m tired and cranky. It is SO annoying.
Let me know how it works out for you?
Twitter Name: SillyJaime
I’m happy to say that at five months pregnant, I’m completely normal and balanced. It is the people around me who are crazy. You’ll be fine. Your husband? We’ll see.
Twitter Name: erinjones