The Battle Against the Bane of my Existence

Mon, Nov 16, 2009

Mishelle, parenting

mishelle1A couple years ago, over the Christmas holiday, the silent invasion began.   One turned into two, two turned into four, four turned six, then nine, twelve, and so on, and so forth.   Sure the invasion was innocent enough, at first, but soon we were taken over by the sheer magnitude of their forces.     What invasion do I speak of?  The Webkinz invasion, of course; the bane of my very existence.

Oh, sure, they’re so cute and cuddly and sweet.  Oh, sure, they come to life when you enter the magic code online.  Oh, sure, they provide the kids with a computer world full of fun.   Whatever!  They are kiddie crack.  The have a way of making the kids crave more, and more, and more.  One’s not enough. Hell, twenty’s not even enough.   Now, no matter what room I enter I am accosted by these delightful yet menacing stuffed creatures.   Seriously, there are no less than fifty in our 1700 square foot house.

I reiterate:  The bane of my existence!

Let’s do some math:

$12.50 (the cost of these suckers) x 50 (I’m rounding here for math purposes) = $625.00

Oh My God in Heaven Above!  That’s SIX HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS that have been spent on stuffed animals.   Seriously?  Seriously.

And now there’s a new addiction:  The Signature Webkinz (read: the slightly bigger, golden tagged, more expensive version of the regular ones)

My daughter?  Totally addicted, by-the-way.  If she could have her way, every single cent she got would go to Webkinz (and Bakugan, but that’s an entirely different post.)

Recently my mother sent the kids Halloween cards with $20.00 in each.

“Mama, Mama, can we please use our money from Baba on Webkinz!” Benny pleaded.

“Yeah, Mama, can we?  There’s a new Signature Calico Cat that I realllllllllllly, reallllllllllly want,” Olivia chimed in.

“Ugh, I guess,” I moaned.

“I’m saving my money,” Mikey proudly stated while his siblings ran off squealing about the new additions they’d soon be acquiring.

A couple days later I piled the little fiends into my van and drove them to the nearest dealer.

“Excuse me, sir,” Olivia politely asked the store keeper as she approached the counter, “can you tell me if you have a Signature Calico Cat?”

“Oh, yes we do, but someone stole the tag from it.  I’m sorry,” he said as he pointed to the stuffed animal on the shelf, that was so close, yet so far away.

She was crushed.

Not Benny, though.  He totally found the ones he wanted.  Littlekinz.  Yeah, apparently they have babies, too.

For the next two days all I heard was whining and crying about a Calico Cat that was right there but some stupid person had to go and steal the tag, and why did they have to steal the tag just because she wanted it, and why-oh-why is she being punished for someone else being greedy and selfish.   For. two. whole. days.  The bane of my existence, I swear!

Then it dawned on me!

Livey, you only have $20.00.  The Signature Webkinz are $30.00.  You don’t even have enough money for one.” I gloated.

“But, Mama, Mama, please!  Can you give me the $10.00 I need?” she begged.

“I don’t think so, Liv.  Times are tough.  We need that money to buy saltine crackers and ramen noodles.” I lamented.

“Stop it, Mama.  Please, I’lllllll dooooooo annnnnnnyyyyyythiiiiiiing,” she cried, as I paused and put my finger to my chin with my gears cranking in over-time.

Hazel {She's a Signature Webkinz}Meet Hazel.  She’s not a Calico Cat, she’s a Cocker Spaniel, but she’s still a Signature Webkinz.   Hazel is now the queen of all the Webkinz at Casa Lane.  She’s really cute and she’s a good queen, not a bad queen, and all the other lowly Webkinz and Littlekinz love and abide by her.

The only reason she’s here is because of Olivia’s plea.  And child labor.

She’s here because:

–>My van’s getting detailed, inside and out.

–>The changing of the closets will be a lot easier with a helper.

–>All the beds will be fixed for the next month by a ten year old girl.

If I say, “Jump!”  Olivia’s gonna say, “How high?”

Because that’s how this Mama rolls, yo!

Mwahahhahahahhahahahahha!

I think maybe—just-maybe—I have found a way to win this battle!

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Written by:

Mishelle Lane, author of 10 post(s) on Aiming Low.

©1974: Macedonian/American Daughter, Wife, Mother, Sister-Friend, Cousin, Niece, Secret Agent, Coffee Snob, Photographer, Writer, Blogger, Home Schooler, Music Lover, Ex-Smoker, Gun Shooter, Lead Foot Taxi Driver, Dog Person, Laundry Bitch, Head Cook, Weight Battler, Sexual Deviant, and so much more.

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30 Responses to “The Battle Against the Bane of my Existence”

  1. Tena Says:

    Now- I really want to go and count ours- I think we would rival your 50 (or be close)- but that Spaniel is CUTE!
    Tena´s last blog ..Cat fights aren’t always a good thing My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle Reply:

    @Tena,

    I know, I know. I do secretly love them. Just don’t tell Olivia that!
    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle´s last blog ..Weekly Winners {The Eclectic Edition} My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

  2. Grumble Girl Says:

    Oh lord. This is why I NEVER take the kids into toy stores… they have no idea about what’s out there… yet. I’d better start saving my bucks, and preserving my sanity while there’s still a bit of time left. Oy.
    Grumble Girl´s last blog ..11:11 My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle Reply:

    @Grumble Girl,

    Your time is coming, my pretty!
    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle´s last blog ..Weekly Winners {The Eclectic Edition} My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

  3. MommyGeek Says:

    You are a smart woman :)
    MommyGeek´s last blog ..Women are Contrary Little Buggers My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle Reply:

    @MommyGeek,

    I gotta figure something out. Otherwise, I lose. LOL
    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle´s last blog ..Weekly Winners {The Eclectic Edition} My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

  4. Melissa (Mbonn) Says:

    In ten years they’ll look back at those stupid things and see how much money they *could* have had if they’d put the money in the bank rather than bought them. At least that’s what I do with my beanie babies on a daily basis. :sigh:
    Melissa (Mbonn)´s last blog ..♫ These are my con-fe-shuns! My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle Reply:

    @Melissa (Mbonn),

    My eldest truly understands this. He’s got a bunch of money hidden under his mattress!
    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle´s last blog ..Weekly Winners {The Eclectic Edition} My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

  5. Jen Says:

    My boyfriend’s daugthter has about 25 of them! He definitely encourages her plus she goes on line and does whatever is done on their website.

    I hate to say I bought her a blue duck like thing of a Webkinz for her birthday.
    Jen´s last blog ..Sunday Afternoon My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle Reply:

    @Jen,

    I’ll admit that a bunch of the ones they have WERE purchased by ME for a holiday!
    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle´s last blog ..Weekly Winners {The Eclectic Edition} My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

  6. Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] Says:

    Oh damns. I can’t wait until I can hold stuff over my girls’ heads.
    Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..All I want for Christmas is Nanerpus My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle Reply:

    @Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing],

    Laundry will get done, dishes will be clean, toys will be sorted.. BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle´s last blog ..Weekly Winners {The Eclectic Edition} My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

  7. IzzyMom Says:

    We just gave a double-pack of Webkinz/Lil Kinz as a birthday present and apparently the birthday girl got 3-4 others, as well. I’m an enabler :(

    Reply

    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle Reply:

    @IzzyMom,

    Don’t worry, Janet, I give them as gifts too. They are the perfect price, eh?
    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle´s last blog ..Weekly Winners {The Eclectic Edition} My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

  8. Junket Says:

    Great post. Auntie Junket ends up being the sucker for buying the Webkinz in this family. I’ve always wondered when I should draw the line, but that beagle one is so freaking cute.
    Junket´s last blog ..Push It Real Good My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle Reply:

    @Junket,

    I can’t draw a line, so I just employ labor laws from now on! LOL
    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle´s last blog ..Weekly Winners {The Eclectic Edition} My ComLuv Profile

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  9. Astaryth Says:

    Oh, Oh, I can ‘Aim even lower’! I bought one of these for me and one for my Grandson about a year ago for a birthday thinking we could both go online and take care of our critters and visit because we live so far apart. I thought it would be something we could do together even though we don’t live near each other.. Sadly he only went on a few times and never really got into it. -I- on the other hand have 5 of the silly things and only recently (due to the discovery of Farmville-yes, I replaced one addiction with another)stopped going on every day to take care of my little tiger and his friends. ;p
    Astaryth´s last blog ..Procrastination… or Just Pure Laziness? My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle Reply:

    @Astaryth,

    Shhhhh don’t tell anyone, but I had an elephant, named Ellie!
    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle´s last blog ..Weekly Winners {The Eclectic Edition} My ComLuv Profile

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  10. Allison Says:

    Haaaaaaaaaa. I just heard about these.

    It’s like the 2009 version of cabbage patch kids.
    Allison´s last blog ..Our Totally Pornographic Weekend My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle Reply:

    @Allison,

    My mom drove to CANADA to get me a Cabbage Patch Kid. Hey, what can you say? I am her only child!
    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle´s last blog ..Weekly Winners {The Eclectic Edition} My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

  11. kyooty Says:

    we have Zero of these, hhehehhee eheheehee ehehehhhahhha, instead we have legos and RC cars and trucks and LOTS of sand.
    kyooty´s last blog ..Happy MY Birthday (and the brother and sister) My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle Reply:

    @kyooty,

    SAND! One thing my husband will not let the kids have anymore. LOL
    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle´s last blog ..Weekly Winners {The Eclectic Edition} My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

    kyooty Reply:

    @Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle, I’m eying Patio Stones to cover it over.
    kyooty´s last blog ..Happy MY Birthday (and the brother and sister) My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

  12. Brittany Says:

    OH! Does she make child labor house calls!?
    Brittany´s last blog ..I am pretty sure MySpace is like the mafia, only with less shooting people in the face. My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle Reply:

    @Brittany,

    Yes, payable in Webkinz and Bakugan!
    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle´s last blog ..Weekly Winners {The Eclectic Edition} My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

  13. Kami Says:

    I hate capitalism.
    Kami´s last blog ..In Case of Emergency My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle Reply:

    @Kami,

    No. Doubt.
    Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle´s last blog ..Weekly Winners {The Eclectic Edition} My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

  14. Maria Says:

    I thought webkinz were electronic dolls or something. Ha.
    Maria´s last blog ..Bayfront Baby Place (oh, mah uterus) My ComLuv Profile

    Reply

  15. ingrid Says:

    I’m glad I’m not the only parent drowning in those suckers! I understand completely how you feel we lost count of how may our daughter has after she past 70 (She has a friend that has over 100!). The nice thing, they do make an awesome bartering tool. She’ll do anything for one. Oh, yeah and you’re getting off cheap. Here in FL they’re $16.95 for the bigkinz!

    Btw, has any of your children gone online and found all of their webkinz hungry at the same time? It’s happened twice to my daughter twice and it’s hilarious! She has to buy special food for each one and feed them. It took her hours and by the time she was done she wasn’t lovin’ ‘em quite so much.
    ~ingrid
    ingrid´s last blog ..Almond Lemon Ricotta Pound Cake My ComLuv Profile

    Reply


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