It’s become obvious that there are two kinds of people in this world. Those with a sense of direction and those without.
Those of you who were blessed with the ability to know which way is west, no matter your location? I DON’T GET YOU.
And yes, I know you don’t get me either.
You see, my husband falls into the former category. We often have conversations that go like this:
Him: You’re going to need to go west when you get off the freeway.
Me: Blink, blink.
Him: West. You know, like towards the ocean, dumbass. (the dumbass being more implied than actually spoken here.)
Me: Um, I can’t see the ocean.
Him: You don’t need to SEE it to know where it is.
Me: Blink. Cough. Shift nervously in my seat.
Him: Seriously?
Me: We’re 20 miles from the ocean. How the hell should I know where the ocean is in relation to my current position?
Him: How do you ever find your way home?
Me: My boyfriend, the navigation system, helps me out.
And don’t even get him started on the navigation system. Yes, sure, it has made mistakes before, but it always gets me there. More or less.
Listen, I know those of you human compasses think that having a sense of direction is something you can just try hard enough and make it happen, like learning geometry or something. I assure you, it isn’t that easy.
Sometimes, I get lucky. Like, because I know that I live south of the freeway*, if I orient myself to the freeway, then I know that the grocery store is west of Main St. Or whatever.
And yes, I can read a map, but I’m always shocked when I look at a map and see where things are in relation to each other. SHOCKED I tell you.
*The ONLY reason I know that I live south of the freeway is because I live in a wildfire prone area, and during the most recent evacuation I was listening to the news, hearing them say that all homes south of the freeway are under mandatory evacuation and I had to do some very complicated algorithm in my head to figure out that meant ME and to get my ass home and save my baby. And my husband who, while he has an awesome sense of north vs. south, has no fear of wildfires. Seriously.
We have no idea where we are, at any given time. We usually just use landmarks, like McDonalds or the liquor store. Awesome, Megan! Thanks for this Three Day Weekend submission! Find Megan at her blog, Mama Bub, as well as on twitter.
About Guest Writer
I’m a landmark girl myself. Although even then, I’ll still get lost more often than not. Telling me east west south north, it’s useless.
Twitter Name: kidthingsnet
I used to have a sense of direction. Then I got pregnant and that, along with my waistline, went out the window.
I’m with you. When someone tells me go east, I just look at them and say, “Could you please use the terms ‘left’ or ‘right’?” Much easier to understand. I have gotten lost so many times it’s ridiculous. And my husband is like yours – a human frickin’ compass.
Twitter Name: Melissa Siig
I, too, have zero sense of direction. In fact, mine is so bad that if I say we should go one way, we should actually turn around and go the exact opposite.
I shouldn’t be allowed to drive to new places alone. Ever.
Twitter Name: SillyJaime
My GPS is also my boyfriend! Without my boyfriend I wouldn’t have made it out of my neighborhood when we moved to Florida … in my town where neighborhoods are made up of streets that all begin with the same letter. Randolph, Ryan, Rae, Rymfire, Rickenbacher, and on and on. Are you kidding me?? For the geographically challenged, this is a NIGHTMARE. The only thing I know about direction is that from my house you go north to get to Jacksonville and south to get to Miami. Seriously people, there’s a whole lotta Florida between those two cities, so that’s not sayin’ much. My husband bought me the TomTom when we left Illinois to drive to our new home in Florida and at first I thought it was a waste of money, but THEN I learned how to USE it. Now I refer to it as the most romantic thing he’s ever bought for me. Right next to my Dyson … ’cause that’s pretty freaking romantic, too. Major, major brownie points for both.
In my home town I learned that the sun came up over the high school and that the sun always comes up in the…whatever direction it comes up in. Then I had to create a mental compass in my head (It was always the fancy, scrolly type like on a fancy map) in order to figure out which direction was which.
Twitter Name: Stimey
I have ZERO sense of direction. I “blink” too whenever someone gives me directions that include “south of…anything”. I need to hear…”turn right at Macy’s and left at the 7-11, if you get to the railroad tracks you’ve gone too far”. I LOVE GPS. :)
I am kinda in the middle, I prefer the left -right knida directions but I am the girl my friends call for help when they are lost. I use landmarks more than streetnames, have no clue about exit numbers (those I do by name) distances ? please …..we all know that joke right?
I don’t even drive – and I shouldn’t, for this very reason. I prefer to have a boyfriend with a driver’s license AND an inner-GPS system. When I found a good one, I married him.
I always have to wave my finger in the air saying, “Never Eat Shredded Wheat) in order to figure out which way I want to go. That is, if I know where I started from at the time. I have to “think” for a moment about left and right too – I swear, I was sick the day they taught that at school the first time.
Oddly, I can read a map like nobody’s business…