Where the Wild Things Collect, Fester and, apparently, Invoke Judgment

headTwo weeks ago my fridge died.

I did not get the Dooce treatment on this one…I had to just suck it up and wait for a repairman to decide that I was worth his, OBVIOUSLY, precious time…seven days after the actual breakdown.

Seven days with no refrigeration, no ice maker, no smooth, milky cream to make my morning coffee lovely and delicious.

Travesty. I know.

So, let’s suffice it to say that by the time Javier finally rang my doorbell I was beyond the irritation of having to wait a WEEK for the fridge to be fixed and just thankful for someone, ANYONE, who might be able to bring me back the goodness that is a cup of cold yogurt.

I sat happily as Javier worked his repairman magic…dreaming of the moment when I would be basking in the glow of my frosty appliance goodness.

He finally said the sexy words I’d been waiting to hear, “I’m DONE!” {Yeah, I occasionally find those words sexy…depends on how tired I am and how NOT in the mood.  Let’s just let that one go}

And let the rejoicing begin!

Until Javier came out, wiping his hands and frowning.

“Mrs. Mayhew? You may want to just go ahead and clean back there before I put the refrigerator back.”

Um. Excuse me?

Did you just tell me to clean?

Or you won’t move my fridge back?

Are you kidding me?

Then I looked.

And grumbled all the way to the closet where I keep the broom.

I carefully swept behind the fridge and said in my best “scathing sarcasm” voice, “I’m DOOOONE.”

Javier actually LOOKED to CHECK before he put my fridge back where it belonged….which, in MY opinion, is covering the dirt that lives there.

Then he left.

Probably smirking that he got me to clean up the mess.

Whatever.

It wasn’t THAT bad.

IMG00027-20091006-1858

Um. Right?

About Anissa Mayhew

You can read more Anissa at her blog Free Anissa and as a contributing writer at Babble. She's at Twitter, FacebookG+, and Pinterest too. And yes, she's probably up to no good either.

 

Comments

  1. Assertagirl says:

    OH. MAH. GAH. I wonder how clean the space behind Javier’s house is!?

    (P.S. If you lived in Canada you could just keep your yogurt on the front porch. Just sayin’.)

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  2. tena says:

    Coming from OCD girl- IT’S SERIOUSLY not that bad for behind a fridge. But you’ve lived there, what, 6 months?

    I would have gone and prostituted for money for a new fridge if I had to- I don’t know how you lasted.

    And I can see Javier “the Refrigerator repair man” in a porn storyline, just sayin’.

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  3. Vic says:

    Not that bad at all – in fact I’m sure I see much worse on my floor on a daily basis. Must remind the husband to get the broom out again, cos I can’t do that stuff.

  4. Girl, I’m growing life forms behind my fridge, life forms that will save the human race. You ain’t got nothing on me. That’s my excuse and I’m stickin’ to it.

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  5. My question: Is that pile STILL on your floor?

  6. Dude, that’s nothing, I don’t even want to know what’s behind my fridge. And how dare he suggest that you clean! :) I hope you’re enjoying your working fridge.

  7. Libby says:

    That’s nothing. I swear a swept up a full size raccoon from behind my fridge the last time I cleaned out there…

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  8. alimartell says:

    seriously, I DIED when I saw what was living under out fridge when we moved. DIED.

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  9. I’m sure it’s worse under our fridge, but we also rent so who knows who was living here and what they did before us. And really, I don’t WANT to know.

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  10. Michaela says:

    What’s with repairmen? The guy who installed my new hot water heater did the same thing! I was watching my DVR when I felt eyes on me. Turned around and he said, “I’m ready to install the new one, but you might wanna sweep out that closet first.” To be fair, there were dust bunnies back there that could have eaten my dog, but COME ON, who the eff cleans behind the water heater?!?

  11. Totally not THAT bad.

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  12. Finn says:

    So is Javier going to stop by for a spot check now and then? Or to move the fridge for you so you can sweep back there every week?

    Just like a man…

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  13. mommabird2345 says:

    What kind of crap is that! He should have asked where you keep the broom and done it himself. Oh wait, he’s a man, I forgot, nevermind.

    It was not that bad at all. I have to sweep that from under the kitchen table on a daily basis. Dude, kids are messy!

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  14. Jen says:

    I’m not moving my fridge because I’m afraid of what might be there.

  15. melissa says:

    it’s not that bad, however, I def would’ve ask Javier ( you know, since he was already there) to use his man power to pull out the stove for cleaning. I haven’t done that in about 6 years :/

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  16. AmylK says:

    You are supposed to clean behind the fridge? I haven’t moved mine since I moved in 2 years ago. Wonder how many cats are back there? hmmmmmmmm.

  17. grumble girl says:

    My husband cleans behind the fridge “regularly” because he’s crazy like that, and so completely worried that a Javier might come one day and see such a heckling, spiteful mess behind the fridge, he’d never recover from the shame. And he’s worried all that dust might make the fridge stop, thus requiring a Javier to come to the house in the first place. He is mental. Our fridge DID go kaput this summer, and he cleaned behind the fridge BEFORE the Javier arrived. Ohyeshedid. It’s just THAT kind of life around here. At least I don’t have to wield the broom. Unless I’m flying it, that is.

  18. mysuestories says:

    Hahahahahahaha!!! Great story! And now I’m afraid to think about what’s living under MY fridge!

    What, are you having furniture movers in next week so you can clean under the beds?

    • @mysuestories, DUDE. that’s totally an idea! I wonder how much it would cost to have someone come out and just pick my shit up so I can sweep underneath because we ALL know I’m too lazy to move it myself. Hmmmm.

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  19. Who asks someone to clean under their own fridge? Jerk.

    When we moved from the last apartment we were staying at, the landlord stopped by on moving day to make sure we had cleaned everything properly. This little old lady MOVED THE FRIDGE and chastised us for not cleaning under it. I understand wanting things clean, but she was seriously pissed. Who thinks of cleaning under (not behind, UNDER) the fridge before moving out of an apartment? Not this girl.

  20. Katey says:

    LOL, I have never cleaned behind the fridge, but one time the bug man was at the house and he pulled out the drawer under the oven to put the bug stuff there and asked if I wanted to clean before he put it back. I looked and there was seriously an amazing amount of dog hair under there. Like really bad, pounds. I was a little embarrassed. But he was late to begin with, and dorky, so I got over it quickly.

  21. Allison says:

    No. He did not.

  22. kyooty says:

    pffffftttttttT! that’s mild…

  23. When do you think the last time Javier cleaned behind his own fridge? Exactly. That dirt chose to live there, it doesn’t want to be found. Come on Javier!

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  24. samantha says:

    i caught my hubby kicking a dime sized piece of cheddar under our fridge yesterday…so i think you’re doin just fine =]

  25. Misty says:

    I’m pretty sure I swept up an entire bag of cat food and a pound of dead ants when i moved out of my last apartment. I would have left it there, but it was a college apartment and I snuck the cat in…

    (side note, WHY doesn’t spell check recognize “snuck”? The Merriam Webster dictionary recognizes it as the ‘past and past participle of the verb ‘sneak.” Is spell check too good for the dictionary? Harumph.)

  26. melissa says:

    you should see behind and under my fridge. that’s where the dust bunnies go to procreate. i kid you not. it’s disgusting. and i SWEAR…i clean it all the time. yours? isn’t all that bad!!

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