Where the Wild Things Collect, Fester and, apparently, Invoke Judgment
Two weeks ago my fridge died.
I did not get the Dooce treatment on this one…I had to just suck it up and wait for a repairman to decide that I was worth his, OBVIOUSLY, precious time…seven days after the actual breakdown.
Seven days with no refrigeration, no ice maker, no smooth, milky cream to make my morning coffee lovely and delicious.
Travesty. I know.
So, let’s suffice it to say that by the time Javier finally rang my doorbell I was beyond the irritation of having to wait a WEEK for the fridge to be fixed and just thankful for someone, ANYONE, who might be able to bring me back the goodness that is a cup of cold yogurt.
I sat happily as Javier worked his repairman magic…dreaming of the moment when I would be basking in the glow of my frosty appliance goodness.
He finally said the sexy words I’d been waiting to hear, “I’m DONE!” {Yeah, I occasionally find those words sexy…depends on how tired I am and how NOT in the mood. Let’s just let that one go}
And let the rejoicing begin!
Until Javier came out, wiping his hands and frowning.
“Mrs. Mayhew? You may want to just go ahead and clean back there before I put the refrigerator back.”
Um. Excuse me?
Did you just tell me to clean?
Or you won’t move my fridge back?
Are you kidding me?
Then I looked.
And grumbled all the way to the closet where I keep the broom.
I carefully swept behind the fridge and said in my best “scathing sarcasm” voice, “I’m DOOOONE.”
Javier actually LOOKED to CHECK before he put my fridge back where it belonged….which, in MY opinion, is covering the dirt that lives there.
Then he left.
Probably smirking that he got me to clean up the mess.
Whatever.
It wasn’t THAT bad.
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Comments
Twitter: Assertagirl
OH. MAH. GAH. I wonder how clean the space behind Javier’s house is!?
(P.S. If you lived in Canada you could just keep your yogurt on the front porch. Just sayin’.)
Assertagirl´s last blog ..Days of thanks.
@Assertagirl, Stop teasing me with your Canadian wiles!!
Coming from OCD girl- IT’S SERIOUSLY not that bad for behind a fridge. But you’ve lived there, what, 6 months?
I would have gone and prostituted for money for a new fridge if I had to- I don’t know how you lasted.
And I can see Javier “the Refrigerator repair man” in a porn storyline, just sayin’.
tena´s last blog ..Tena doesn’t live here anymore
@tena, Think I should have offered Javier a niiiiice cold drink?
Not that bad at all – in fact I’m sure I see much worse on my floor on a daily basis. Must remind the husband to get the broom out again, cos I can’t do that stuff.
Vic´s last blog ..Untitled #12
@Vic, I keep my fridge in one spot for a REASON! That’s also the reason why I don’t move any of my furniture around..why clean if we don’t HAVE to?
Girl, I’m growing life forms behind my fridge, life forms that will save the human race. You ain’t got nothing on me. That’s my excuse and I’m stickin’ to it.
katie ~ motherbumper´s last blog ..Yup, It’s Monday
@katie ~ motherbumper, Between what’s under my fridge and your stove we could probably start our own zoo. Which, kind of awesome, don’t you think?
My question: Is that pile STILL on your floor?
Secret Agent Mama´s last blog ..Moms Rock Birmingham
@Secret Agent Mama, HEH. No. Because my mother in law swept it up while we were in Birmingham! FTW!
Dude, that’s nothing, I don’t even want to know what’s behind my fridge. And how dare he suggest that you clean! :) I hope you’re enjoying your working fridge.
Susan (woo222)´s last blog ..Simple Earth
@Susan (woo222), They’re still searching for the body of the LAST guy who told me to clean that way…Javier’s just lucky I was feeling generous.
That’s nothing. I swear a swept up a full size raccoon from behind my fridge the last time I cleaned out there…
Libby´s last blog ..Walking the Park
@Libby, THIS is why we should open our OWN ZOO!!!
Twitter: alimartell
seriously, I DIED when I saw what was living under out fridge when we moved. DIED.
alimartell´s last blog ..why I should never be left alone to my own devices; a play in two parts.
@alimartell, see, if you were ANY kind of blogger you’d have photographed it to save for a rainy day blog post. Unless it tried to bite you. Then you’re excused.
I’m sure it’s worse under our fridge, but we also rent so who knows who was living here and what they did before us. And really, I don’t WANT to know.
C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Fearless
@C @ Kid Things, EWWW! It’s one thing if it’s YOUR funk…but other people’s funk? Not so groovy.
What’s with repairmen? The guy who installed my new hot water heater did the same thing! I was watching my DVR when I felt eyes on me. Turned around and he said, “I’m ready to install the new one, but you might wanna sweep out that closet first.” To be fair, there were dust bunnies back there that could have eaten my dog, but COME ON, who the eff cleans behind the water heater?!?
@Michaela, I should put up a sign that says “no solicitation and NO telling me to clean!”
Twitter: alotofnothing
Totally not THAT bad.
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..My kids have caught the Aiming Low bug
@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing], are you humoring me? Cause if you are, I will mail that monkeyfighter down to you right now.
So is Javier going to stop by for a spot check now and then? Or to move the fridge for you so you can sweep back there every week?
Just like a man…
Finn´s last blog ..To Be Or Not To Be
@Finn, So yeah… Javier is the only thing that was supposed to be in italics. Does this mean I can write for Aiming Low now?
Finn´s last blog ..To Be Or Not To Be
@Finn, I have an issue with accidentally publishing posts when i’m supposed to be scheduling them. I think you’d fit RIGHT IN!
Twitter: mommabird2345
What kind of crap is that! He should have asked where you keep the broom and done it himself. Oh wait, he’s a man, I forgot, nevermind.
It was not that bad at all. I have to sweep that from under the kitchen table on a daily basis. Dude, kids are messy!
@mommabird2345, Was so tempted to put it in a baggie and just toss it in his van. <—insert evil laugh here
I’m not moving my fridge because I’m afraid of what might be there.
Jen´s last blog ..I’m drowning
@Jen, be afraid…be VERY afraid.
it’s not that bad, however, I def would’ve ask Javier ( you know, since he was already there) to use his man power to pull out the stove for cleaning. I haven’t done that in about 6 years :/
@melissa, OMG, NOOOOO!! I can’t even imagine what it must look like under there. I gag a little just thinking about it.
You are supposed to clean behind the fridge? I haven’t moved mine since I moved in 2 years ago. Wonder how many cats are back there? hmmmmmmmm.
AmylK´s last blog ..Yesterday in Pictures
@AmylK, when we moved out of our house in FL after 8 years I had to think back to when we’d carpeted that one square of the kitchen. OH. right. Labrador retriever.
My husband cleans behind the fridge “regularly” because he’s crazy like that, and so completely worried that a Javier might come one day and see such a heckling, spiteful mess behind the fridge, he’d never recover from the shame. And he’s worried all that dust might make the fridge stop, thus requiring a Javier to come to the house in the first place. He is mental. Our fridge DID go kaput this summer, and he cleaned behind the fridge BEFORE the Javier arrived. Ohyeshedid. It’s just THAT kind of life around here. At least I don’t have to wield the broom. Unless I’m flying it, that is.
grumble girl´s last blog ..Thankful and Stuff
@grumble girl, Um. I don’t even know how to answer that. Maybe his dosages need to be checked again?
Hahahahahahaha!!! Great story! And now I’m afraid to think about what’s living under MY fridge!
What, are you having furniture movers in next week so you can clean under the beds?
mysuestories´s last blog ..When The F*ck Will I Learn………
@mysuestories, DUDE. that’s totally an idea! I wonder how much it would cost to have someone come out and just pick my shit up so I can sweep underneath because we ALL know I’m too lazy to move it myself. Hmmmm.
Who asks someone to clean under their own fridge? Jerk.
When we moved from the last apartment we were staying at, the landlord stopped by on moving day to make sure we had cleaned everything properly. This little old lady MOVED THE FRIDGE and chastised us for not cleaning under it. I understand wanting things clean, but she was seriously pissed. Who thinks of cleaning under (not behind, UNDER) the fridge before moving out of an apartment? Not this girl.
Jen @ lifelovenwine´s last blog ..Pin the Pfft! on the Old Fart and other Maine Tales
@Jen @ lifelovenwine, *I* didn’t know that you’re apparently supposed to CLEAN the BACK of your fridge as well..not under, not behind…the BACK. WTF is THAT?
LOL, I have never cleaned behind the fridge, but one time the bug man was at the house and he pulled out the drawer under the oven to put the bug stuff there and asked if I wanted to clean before he put it back. I looked and there was seriously an amazing amount of dog hair under there. Like really bad, pounds. I was a little embarrassed. But he was late to begin with, and dorky, so I got over it quickly.
@Katey, Hey, the lawn guys don’t complain because i’ve let the grass get too tall…just do your job and shut it!!
@Anissa Mayhew, kinda like when the guys at the car wash give you dirty looks about the mass amount of cheerios in the back seat. Why do you think I am here dumbass??
No. He did not.
Allison´s last blog ..Our Menu – October 4-10
@Allison, YES.HE.MONKEYFIGHTING.DID.
pffffftttttttT! that’s mild…
kyooty´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts, more Rambling
When do you think the last time Javier cleaned behind his own fridge? Exactly. That dirt chose to live there, it doesn’t want to be found. Come on Javier!
Karen Chatters´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday
i caught my hubby kicking a dime sized piece of cheddar under our fridge yesterday…so i think you’re doin just fine =]
I’m pretty sure I swept up an entire bag of cat food and a pound of dead ants when i moved out of my last apartment. I would have left it there, but it was a college apartment and I snuck the cat in…
(side note, WHY doesn’t spell check recognize “snuck”? The Merriam Webster dictionary recognizes it as the ‘past and past participle of the verb ’sneak.” Is spell check too good for the dictionary? Harumph.)