Graham and I like to watch a lot of different kinds of television shows together. We like good tv, shows like Six Feet Under and True Blood and Star Trek, but lately I’ve noticed there’s a bit of a pattern to the kinds of things we been watching most frequently. We’ve turned the corner, from “requiring mindless entertainment” to “needing to laugh at the misfortune of others”. We’ve learned that no matter what your problems are, there is a television show out there that will help you feel better about yourself.

A few cases in point.

Feeling a little bit crazy? Watch Survivor.

In this, the umpteenth season of Survivor, you’d think there’d be nothing unique or surprising about the show, but this season there’s this one crazy dude who plays so dirty, who is such a woman-hating ignoramus we simply have to see what kinds of shocking things he’ll say each week. It’s guaranteed to make you feel more sane than you have all day long. Plus, there’s always the off-chance a nipple will slip out of one of the skinny girls’ bikini tops.

Feeling unorganized? Watch Hoarders.

Oh. My. God. Have you seen Hoarders? There are people all over America, literally MILLIONS of people all over America who hoard shit. Do you know what hoarding really means? Apparently it means you’ll keep expired food in your fridge in case the world ends and the local Walgreen’s is, you know, closed forever. Or you keep the carcasses of your dead cats stacked in the attic. Or you keep year-old dog turds on the kitchen floor. JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN. Children are taken away by the authorities, psychiatrists show up, professional organizers arrive and yet these people refuse to give up their shit. When this show is over Graham and I head to separate rooms of the house and organize something. Anything.

Feeling broke? Watch ‘Til Debt Do Us Part.

I don’t know if this show is aired in the States, but here in Canada it’s on every day. There’s this woman who knows a lot about the mysteries of finance who comes in to rescue the financial lives of couples in trouble. These people usually have a combined six-figure salary, and also usually have no idea how much money they spend on a monthly basis or how much debt they actually have. The financial guru goes over their finances with a fine-toothed comb and shows them what they’re actually spending. Then she cuts their spending in half and the couple has to live on…gulp…cash…for a month. Hilarity ensues. This show always makes us feel like our debt is under control.

Feeling like your house is messy? Watch How Clean is Your House?

This one’s a favourite of mine airing on BBC. British cleaning experts Kim and Aggie take a crew into some of the most disgusting homes in Britain. We’re talking e. coli, pubic hair in the corners, bugs, poop and all other manner of dirt. And that’s just in the kitchen. Sporting glamourous, glittery rubber gloves, they show the homeowners how to clean their home and enjoy living in it again. I always feel like my house is SUPER clean after I watch it.

So you see, no matter how crazy, messy, unorganized or broke you feel, there is always someone out there who is worse off than you!