You know, I may aim low in many parts of my life—okay, pretty much ALL of them—but one thing I aim NOT to do is take shortcuts that hurt other people. Or make their heads feel explode-y. I also aim to use less hyphens. And caps. And maybe ellipses, too.
Anyway, it would appear that despite MY personal values and convictions regarding others, SOME people do not feel the same. No. THEY think it’s perfectly fine to jump ahead of others to get where they want to go. Literally.
In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m talking about the, the…THE TRAVESTY that is the school car line. That’s right—the CAR LINE. If you have kids and aren’t lucky enough to have the walking option, you KNOW the car line.
But I’m guessing YOUR car line is less sucky than MY car line.
I need you fine people to be my Judge Judy for a moment and tell me..AM I RIGHT? Or am I, though highly unlikely, WRONG? (You know there’s only one correct answer to this, don’t you?)
Okay, here’s my bitch about car line… The car line goes from west to east into the circular drive and out the east exit. Simple enough, right?
BUT! Everyday you get these random assholes who think it’s okay to come from the east and make a left turn into the school and cut a zillion people. To be able to do this depends on putting extreme pressure on the person who is ABOUT to turn into the circular drive. And by pressure I mean that cars are piling up behind the ASSHOLE while they wait for some soft-headed MORON to allow them to GET IN FRONT OF EVERYONE ELSE.
So of course, that MORON (this person is highly interchangeable) usually caves after about 15 seconds and lets the ASSHOLE (also highly interchangeable) in front of them, even though there are more than twenty cars coming from the west that got there early and have been waiting, in some cases, 15+ minutes (which? is a long time to just be SITTING in your car)
VISUAL AID!
*I* have to get there early because I have another child with the SAME release time at another school. I don’t have TIME to eff around and let, like, ten of those ASSHOLES just mosey on up right as the line starts moving and get in front of me. And I hate anyone ELSE who lets them do it. And it makes my head want to explode. Because it’s wrong. And I literally have to talk myself down EVERY DAMN DAY.
So I say something about it to the guy who works the car line and he just shrugs and says “Oh well..what are ya gonna do?” He’s a a total weenie, Actually, no, he’s a wussy. Except with a P instead of a W.
So another day, while the Asst Principal is explaining some new car line rules, I mention that SOMEONE is going to beat someone else’s head in over this cutting nonsense (that someone being ME) and that while they’re making more (stupid) rules, they ought to add one that says you can only enter the car line from the west.
I get a patronizing nod of sympathy from her and then she goes on to explain that the car line works just like anywhere else in the world and we all need to alternate west, east, west, east for turning into the circular drive..
EXCEPT? THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS IN THE REAL WORLD, HONEY!
Trying to make a left turn in the face of oncoming cars means YOU WAIT until it’s clear because you DON’T have the right of way. This is a fact.
But I didn’t waste my time trying to edumacate an assistant principal because, you know, she’s an ASST PRINCIPAL and she KNOWS STUFF. Even if it’s wrong stuff.
But I did tell her if she wants traffic to alternate like that, she’s going to have to have someone out there facilitating that like they do at my other child’s school—where SMART people work. Okay, I didn’t really say that last part. But I was totally thinking it.
So, please study the visual aid I painstakingly created for you and tell me..WHO IS RIGHT? Me or the ASSHOLE(S)?
You are definitely right! This would drive me so insane! I would not be able to take it!
Although I am on the flip side of this dilemna. The school behind my house has a car line such as this. In order to get in that line about 20 zillion cars come careening around my cul-de-sac every day. They use our tiny little street as an easy turn around so they can get their cars in the back of that “line”.
So that TOTALLY aggravates me too. I guess people are just aggravating in general.
THAT? Would drive me crazy, too. Idiots.
Twitter Name: izzymom
You. Totally you. And they need a traffic cop. My kids’ school has two operating one entrance.
A traffic cop! Wait, no…that makes entirely too much sense.
Twitter Name: izzymom
Ha Ha. That would annoy the crap out of me.
Some girl tried to manuever her way in like that one day and she ended up clipping the car in front of her. She now waits her turn at the back of the line, every day.
I park and walk to get the kiddo ;-) or I walk from the house, weather permitting. I can’t do that sit in line thing.. it makes me cringe.
One of the unfortunate “new” rules is that there is no park and walk up option anymore because there was some kind of accident near the exit.
But you CAN have your kid walk all the way across the sports field (in the blazing Florida heat) and sit on the uncovered bleachers and you can park/walk up and get them way over there if you’re so inclined.
Twitter Name: izzymom
@IzzyMom, That’s moronic. It sucks that there was an accident but geez. It’s called responsibility. Our Vice Principal is an awesome lady and she puts people to rights if they don’t act right in the school line. You just need someone with cajones to straighten those dingbats out.
Sorry, love.
I know, right? It’s a total fucking nanny-state over there. Some idiot didn’t look and backed out of the parking strip right into a car that had pulled out of the exit. Big deal.
Twitter Name: izzymom
OK, so if the people coming from the west are deliberately going down, turning around, then coming back to skip the line, then they need to be shot dead.
If they actually LIVE that way and that’s the way they come to the school, then I have to say, they need to be let in.
*ducks & covers*
Twitter Name: alotofnothing
Somehow everyone else manages to find the end of the line. There are FIVE different ways to get to the line so no matter where you live, you can access it with ease. Those jackasses opt to cut the line because they don’t want to wait. AFAIC, they can suck it ’cause I’ll NEVER let their tired asses in…
Twitter Name: izzymom
Ack. I hate drivers like that… and I don’t even drive. People like that make me want to start shanking them. Oy!
Hmmm…shanking. *wondering how I could make that work for me*
Twitter Name: izzymom
You’re right, of course! Had this at my kid’s last school. And I also had to pick up two of my kids, then get across town, in heavy traffic, to pick up another one of my kids. It was insane! And there are always assholes that try to jump in line, and in turn, block traffic on their end of the street. It makes no sense.
The only time I liked it was on rainy or cold days.
I want to jump up and down and point at you and say “See? See?” SHE gets it! SHE knows what’s up!
Twitter Name: izzymom
Oh, that is insane! I can’t stand it when the person in the car line stops RIGHT in front of the door, instead of going to the end of the sidewalk and letting other cars pull up, too. Especially when they decide to GET OUT, walk around the car, and help their sixth grader with his backpack! Ugh!
I used to work at a school that had the exact same set up as yours. EXCEPT.. imagine where the moron is located, there is a bridge. It’s illegal to stop on/block a bridge. So… the parents had to keep going past the school entrance, turn around, and drive back and forth in front of the school until a spot opened up for them to turn into the parking lot.
Boy I hated being the one out there that had to tell them that!
Twitter Name: reallifesarah
Oh, we have those, too. They hold up the whole line. The administration tells them not to do it but they don’t enforce it because they’re big weenies.
Twitter Name: izzymom
I LOVE this. My favorite part? The visual aid. I’m STILL laughing.
God I wanna be you when I grow up.
Twitter Name: shaunaglenn
Ok, I would be the person in line, the CORRECT WAY, and if someone from the left tried to do that TO ME, I would be honking and cussing and throwing a royal fit, because I will NOT tolerate line jumpers.
I don’t put up with them at Panera, and I certainly don’t put up with them in car line.
Not to mention, it’s not like the entire population of your school lives to the right, so OBVIOUSLY people are driving down and turning around to follow the flow of the line, BECAUSE THEY ARE DECENT HUMAN BEINGS.
YOU are right.
Twitter Name: barefootfoodie
We have the same issues at my son’s school. The principal calls the house EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT with a recorded message REMINDING the dumbasses that you cannot turn LEFT INTO THE SCHOOL!
But it still happens, just not as often now.
Twitter Name: outdoordogs
WOW! At least your principal GETS IT!
Twitter Name: izzymom
The assholes are definitely assholes and they should move to Uruguay.
NO. OMG. You should see how I am in these situations. I would GET OUT OF MY CAR and FOLLOW a line cutter if that happened to me. That’s stupid. There are rules for the car line ON PURPOSE. Jackoffs.
Twitter Name: mamaspohr
I’ve taken to looking right at them and snapping their picture. It makes them all squirmy!
Twitter Name: izzymom
Dude, any kindergartener knows the rules. NO BUDGING. Budgers suck. I bet the drivers who budge in line were budgy mcbudgersons in kindergarten, too.
Twitter Name: claritychaos
I aimed my camera RIGHT AT this woman trying to cut today and snapped her picture. She looked visibly uncomfortable, which, of course, made me really happy. Even better, nobody would let her in (for once) and she had to go to the back of the line.
Twitter Name: izzymom
YOU! No way in hell would I let that cutter in. No way. I don’t let people in when it isn’t a long line.
That’s because YOU are not an asshole :)
Twitter Name: izzymom
Dude. You are beyond right here. I don’t have to deal with school lines yet, but the 405 can make a person go insane as well. I think I hate the people who let these idiots IN more than I hate the assholes not following the rules…
I KNOW!!! If the letter-inner is in front of me, I mouth obscenities at them when they look in their rear view mirror.
Twitter Name: izzymom
YOU are SO RIGHT! And yes, you need traffic cops. Don’t let them cut the line – I never do. I just keep reminding myself that they don’t have the right of way, and if you’re hit, they’re at fault. May want to clue Ms. Asst. Principal in on this fact, and remind her that if they are proposing a violation of driving laws, they’ll be accountable as well for creating the situation.
Then, when you get clipped by the A%%Ho)e, fall out of your car clutching your neck and scream “I’m suing all of you!”
Twitter Name: ProWorkingMom
I always HOPE they’ll try to get in front of me so I can point to the BACK of the line with my thumb while NOT letting them in. It’s a small pleasure but I enjoy it immensely.
Twitter Name: izzymom
You are obviously correct. The visual aid is brilliant- my school could hire you to solve our car line problems, but you MUST use ‘moron’ and ‘asshole’ in the visual aid. I hate when the parents keep the kid’s instruments in the trunk of the car and park in the line and open their trunk- would it kill the kid to keep the instrument on his lap?????
Twitter Name: tenakim
We have those same idiot people…they take five years to load ONE little thing in the trunk while 20 cars behind them WAIT.
Twitter Name: izzymom
I am not in a school car line but I do have this issue w/ the toll booth line when I get off the turnpike. sometimes it is backed up and i am waiting for 20 minutes and some asshole will come up and try to cut in – I say HELL TO THE NO and will ride the person in front of me to avoid letting them in.
Oh man, people do that here on the interstate all the time. They’ll drive forever in an exit lane and then try to cut all the people they just passed by merging in at the end of the exit. I won’t let them in. In fact, I always HOPE they’ll try to get in front of me so I’ll have the pleasure of NOT letting them in because what they did was so totally asswipey.
Twitter Name: izzymom
I’m new to this whole car line fiasco and have been trying to play nice at my son’s new school. That said, I called the CITY POLICE after witnessing similar traffic stupidity, because laws are laws and safety is safety and we’re all just trying to take care of our kids, right? Regularly (not every day but often enough to make a presence) they send an officer out to “watch” and remind people to get to the end of the line… because breaking in like that is both STUPID and ILLEGAL!
GOOD FOR YOU — you’re my new hero!
Twitter Name: izzymom
picking up my kids from school gives me hives every.single.day.
you are TOTALLY right here.
Twitter Name: alimartell
You’re talking about those itchy red puffy things, right? I’m VERY familiar!
Twitter Name: izzymom
I would be PSYCHO about this. Psycho.
Twitter Name: mariamelee
And this is why I like you :)
Twitter Name: izzymom
YOU are right and the assholes are asshole-y. And this happens everywhere!!
save your time come in from the west, and create a bigger line in both directions, then the police will have to get involved? they will have to hire someone to do this, and there you have it job creation
Yo know, if the line were more balanced between the east and the west, I’d be okay with it. As for having a cop there, I WISH they would. It would really solve a lot of problems.
Twitter Name: Izzymom
@Janet, also it’s a great way to make the town/city/whoever some $$ :)
I am not in the drop-off line but often am asked to go to schools to do training afterschool so witness it frequently. I have noticed in past couple of years that some of the streets our schools are on have signs posted that you may not turn left from so and so time on, and they have a traffic cop that sits there and writes people tickets if they try to. Now I know the reason! Sounds like you need this implemented at your school. :)
We DO need a sign. And a cop!
Twitter Name: Izzymom
Oh and check THIS out… Did you know that in Missouri, people turning left in front of oncoming traffic have the right of way? A fellow Aiming Low writer told me that. WTH???
Twitter Name: Izzymom
Yes, this is very annoying. We have the same problem here. Luckily, I am able to walk my kid to school.
My cousin once said “there is always a jackhole, and today its going to be me”, think of that so you can cut in line too. :)
Twitter Name: mommabird2345
You know, if I had it in me AT ALL, I totally would join them instead of trying to beat them. I’m just cursed with goodness through and through ;)
Twitter Name: Izzymom
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