Not one of my better days

I was actually getting some decent sleep Monday morning when I heard the baby cooing in his crib. He sounded content just chattering to himself so I went back to sleep, at least I tried. Two minutes later my husband came in with the baby and plopped him down beside me. The crying commenced.

So I drug myself out of bed and took him to his room to feed him. He settled down pretty quick so I looked at the clock and figured I could squeeze another hour of sleep before we had to get ready to go to the doctor. Of course he didn’t fall asleep until 15 minutes before I had to get up. Whatever, I’ve dealt with less sleep so I pulled myself together and got in the shower.

I left him sleeping peacefully on our bed.

On my side.

This was the beginning.

I went about my routine getting ready and such. I finished my primping and went to collect him to get him ready at 9:15. Mind you I needed to leave the house no later that 9:45. I picked him up only to find a wet spot under blanket…was it puke?…hmmm…no, much to low for that. Well no big deal he has peed out of his diaper before, nothing a little ho bath can’t fix. (Don’t give me that look, you know you give your kids ho baths)

I put him on the changing table and as soon as I started to unbutton the sleeper the smell hit me. I started to panic, I won’t lie, I did not have time for this. Upon further investigation/reflection I realized that I had forgotten to change his diaper when I fed him at 7:00, it was surely full from over night. Also important to note, just to clarify my stupidity, is that he always does his business in the morning. Let’s just say that the second go-round of pee, turned the poop to soup.

Shit.

So at this point I have a soiled baby, and a soiled bed, and 30 minutes to get out the door. I tried to rationalize skipping a real bath and just couldn’t do it. So in the bath he went. This is when I discovered the diaper rash, fantastic, first time, I had no idea where I had stashed the cream.

I throw a diaper and some clothes on the now clean baby and hustle to strip the bed and deal with the pile of stink in the trash can. As I’m taking the trash out the pest control guys pull up.

Shit.

Thankfully they are only doing the outside so I smile, wave and give a quick hello. I think the look on my face must have said volumes because he stopped me and asked if their truck was in the way.

My god, I have found a considerate man, where were you about 7 years ago?

I quickly say that I will be leaving shortly and point to the side of the garage my car is on. So I run back to the house and start collecting what I need to get out the door. It is then I spot them just sitting in their truck on the street in front of the house. I realize they are waiting for me to leave so they can pull back in the driveway. They need to be parked near the water spigot.

Shit.

I start running through the house throwing this that and everything into the diaper bag. Somehow, in spite of everything I make it out of the house with time to spare to get to the doctor’s office. I take a moment in the car to pull myself together and try to restore some order to the diaper bag. I realize that I have no Tylenol and no binky (pacifier) and the baby is getting shots today.

Shit.

I am about to lose it at this point. I stroll into the building and head for the pharmacy (the doctor’s office is in a medical building). I am stunned to find they have no infant Tylenol but considering how my day has gone I’m not surprised. I just roll my eyes and continue on to the doctor’s office. The receptionist checks me in and assures me that they have sample does of Tylenol and just to ask the nurse for one.

We get into the exam room and I’m running down my list of questions, which I had totally planned on writing out beforehand. I satisfy her list of eleventy billion questions, trying not to laugh at the ridiculous ones. I ask her if I can have a dose of Tylenol since I forgot mine and the pharmacy was out and she winces. Due to the Tylenol recall they have none.

Shit.

Somehow we made it home with no further incidents. I refused to leave the house for two days.

Lesson: Monday’s are still Monday’s even for a stay-at-home mom.

Tagged as: Babies, being unprepared, FAIL, humor, life is hard, parenting, planning, poop, raising boys, the doctor's office