Every year with the candy!

I did it again. Fully four weeks before Halloween I have several half-eaten bags of candy, trashcans full of wrappers, and a belly ache.

I wasn’t going to do it this year. I wasn’t going to buy candy early thinking I could wait until Halloween and then fail, thus spending all of October AND November tying to induce diabetes.

Every year I tell myself, All the good candy will be gone! I’d better stock up now. Really? In this age of wretched excess and Targety goodness, is there honestly a chance that Halloween candy will sell out citywide?

I blame my husband, as I usually can in any scenario. He helps perpetuate the myth of candy scarcity by asking me every single day beginning on October 1st if I’ve bought candy yet. If I haven’t he says, Okaaaay. I guess we won’t have candy this year.

If I tell him, Not yet, too many days in a row he will freak out and buy a bunch of the wrong candy. He doesn’t eat candy (psycho) and has no idea what is good and what isn’t. It’s like that. Then, I’m forced to eat bad candy. So, I buy candy early and make myself sick. It’s becoming a nice little tradition.

By the way, my husband is not allowed to make a purchase that involves a design or taste decision of any kind. His favorite material is plastic. I’m still using one of those faceted plastic butter dishes from the grocery store that he bought because our ceramic one broke and I wasn’t speedy enough on the butter dish-buying trigger.

It just feels wasteful to buy another butter dish until I find the perfect one. Plus, it’s only been two years, not nearly enough time for me to scout out my options and make a decision on a replacement. I almost pulled the trigger on the Jonathan Adler fail whale butter dish, but I was conflicted. I am weird about making decisions sometimes. I still have no back splash over the counter in my year-old renovated laundry room. It’s like that.

So far, I’ve bought Milk Duds, Reece’s Cups, Smarties, Twix, Starburst, Dum-Dum suckers and Hershey’s Kisses. I still need to buy Spree, Sweet Tarts, Candy Corn and Rolos. Think of the children, I say. What if they come to my house and these icons of candy are unavailable? The teenagers who trick-or-treat in my neighborhood get really scowly if you have crap candy and there is a “candy code.” What’s up with high school seniors trick-or-treating? They don’t even half-ass a costume anymore, do they?

What is your “right” candy? I want inspiration because I’m going to need to buy some more.

Tagged as: holidays, married life