When Graham and I found out that we were having a baby boy, I was taken aback. Shocked is too strong a word, but somehow I had convinced myself that I was carrying a girl. I had prepared myself for life with a little girl. I know, I know, we might have another baby someday, so it’s not like I’ve convinced myself I will never be the mother of a little girl. But realizing that wasn’t going to happen this time around took a little while for me to wrap my mind around.
Somewhere between Toronto and Chicago this summer, I found myself shopping in a Target store with my fellow road trippers and while they looked at cute, brightly coloured leggings, sweaters and dresses for their daughters, I stared blankly across the aisle at the boys’ section. It was filled with t-shirts sporting images of atheletes, cars and cartoon characters. That section of the store seemed completely foreign to me as I stood there with my hands on my growing belly. It scared me a little.
I was lost.
“I don’t think I know how to be the mom of a little boy,” I said out loud. My friends didn’t know what to say.
Now that I’m used to the idea, I’ve actually begun to really embrace it. There are a lot of reasons why having a boy is totally kickass, and I’m thrilled that we’ll be welcoming one into our lives in just seven weeks or so. (By the way, seven weeks?! When the hell did this happen?) Here are just some of them.
We’ll get to avoid that aisle in the toy store…you know the one…the pink one. No princesses will live in our house.
Graham is looking forward to taking our son out to do “guy stuff” like playing catch and going fishing and building stuff. I won’t necessarily have to go with them, right? Time for mommy!
As much as I enjoy knocking down the odd wall, it’ll be nice for Graham to have another “helper” when we’re doing home renovation projects. We’re breeding handymen here, people.
Our son will never have to experience the hell that was being a seventh grade girl.
And last but not least…the sex talk? All Graham.
- Translations for New Dads
- Dads aim low, too!
- Recovering Do-It-All Mommy
- Falling from Grace. Again.
- The Evolution of Boy
{ 62 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: give_me_a_latte
October 1, 2009 at 8:38 am
My son? My best cuddler. Both my girls snuggled, of course. But my son? The BEST. There’s something completely different about his snuggles…
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 9:33 am
@Tiffany, Oh now I really can’t wait for the cuddles!
Twitter: MommaIncredible
October 1, 2009 at 8:38 am
YOU make awesomely valid points. I may have to read this to remind myself of this daily….
The clothes still suck though…
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 9:34 am
@Heather, I hear that about the clothes all the time but honestly, I like little dudes’ clothes! I especially like the tiny little shirts that look just like the ones that Graham wears.
Twitter: LaurinEvans
October 1, 2009 at 8:53 pm
@Assertagirl, I always heard that before I had the twins, but I love buying the boy clothes. I think the little shirts are adorable, too.
I was blessed with three (yes THREE) boys, no girls. Never thought THAT would happen! And there are definite advantages. Here’s another one for you: Bathroom trips – all Daddy! I SOOOOO get out of that one!
But yes, the clothes do suck. And the snuggles are good! :)
Boys do rock!
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 9:35 am
@kimmad, My step-mom has three boys, and I have a brother, so in our house there were FOUR boys and, well, me. So I hear you.
And yes! Bathroom trips! I hadn’t thought of that one.
Twitter: reinventedmommy
October 1, 2009 at 9:28 am
I have a boy and he is a mommy’s boy…so wonderful. He wants to snuggle with me, he reaches up on his tippy toes to kiss my cheek a hundred times a day and when I tell him I love him, he answers back, “I wuv you mommy, so bery much!”. Ah, boys are wonderful. I thought I’d want a girl next, but truth be told…another boy would be fantastic. And while the clothes are boring, they are easier to match together with other seperates = cheaper and less stressful in the morning!
Enjoy!
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 9:36 am
@Karen, I’m all for reducing stress, and if that means jeans and t-shirts (well, onesies) every day, so be it!
yeah, but, remember? I got that awesome Bam-Bam shirt for Jasper at that Target. Little boy Bam-Bam = AWESOME.
The best though? MAMA’S BOY. My little girl (as you well know) strives toward independence. My boy? Just wants his mommy. And that’s GOLDEN.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 9:57 am
@Catherine, If I end up with a mama’s boy like Jasper, I’ll consider myself VERY LUCKY. (Hope everyone’s feeling better at your house!)
I have three boys. When I go to the grocery store or walk around town older women always tell me how lucky I am. I always mention that I’d really like to have a girl someday, but having four kids might just be too much. And really? There are no guarantees it would even be a girl – no matter what sexual position I was in while conceiving or what natural herbage I gulped down with breakfast. These older women? They say “forget about it.” They tell me I’ll escape all of the teenage drama that comes with having a girl in the house, let alone multiple girls.
So I sit, and I wait, until that time comes. Until I can see what they see and my longing for a daughter fades that much more.
Until then, I chase boys. I chase balls. I chase boys chasing balls. It’s what we do. And I am happy, of course, because they are perfect, OF COURSE – and exactly as they should be. And me? A mom of three boys? I’m exactly as I should be as well.
As an aside, all of my friends who have had a boy before having a girl are MUCH BETTER OFF as parents. Those who have had a girl and later welcomed a boy into the house are usually a little taken aback, shall we say, about just how active these little guys are. Get ready for some chasing!
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 9:59 am
@Sarah, Alright, it’s cardio in the making! When I told my brother he was going to be the uncle of a boy, he said he thought that was great, because if we have a girl later, then she’ll have a big brother to look out for her.
Mom of two boys here. Boys are a BLAST. We’re trying for a third and the thought of having a girl scares the bejesus out of me. I’m so used to Hot Wheels and Star Wars that I’m not sure I’d know what to do…
You’re going to have so much fun with your little man! Just do me a favor, stain-guard the carpet NOW.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 10:00 am
@Michaela, Luckily we’ve got hardwood happening in our house! And I’ll take Hot Wheels over Barbie any day.
Last time round I’d convinced myself we were having a girl – it was a bit of a shock when that ultrasound disagreed. Having had the boy around for five years, I’m totally used to boys. When I got pregnant again I said I couldn’t imagine having a girl – I wouldn’t know what to do with one. Luckily, it’s another boy, so I don’t have to worry about dressing in pink and messing with someone else’s pigtails. And the clothes get better once you pass that small baby stage. Dinosaurs rock!
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 10:02 am
@Vic, we are big fans of dinosaurs in this house, we already have several onesies with dinos on them! Of course when it all comes down to being a parent all you care about is that your child is happy and healthy, but it’s weird how your mind can mess with you with regard to the baby’s gender before you even know what you’re having, isn’t it?
Twitter: AndreaUpdyke
October 1, 2009 at 9:52 am
We were CONVINCED we would have a girl. All our friends were sure, we were sure. We were just “girl” material. Then our ultrasound said it was a boy. We both said, ARE YOU SURE??? I actually cried. It wasn’t that I didn’t WANT a boy, it was just that in my head I “lost” a girl. This being our first we still may have a girl, but honestly, I would be fine if we didn’t. Oscar is 8 months old and he is AMAZING! I snapped out of the whole girl envy thing when I accidentally walked past the trianing bras at TJ MAXX. OMG boobs. Thank GOD I don’t have to deal with boobies!
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 10:03 am
@Andrea, Graham was sure I was disappointed after that ultrasound, but it wasn’t disappointment, it was just…surprise. The first thing he said to me was, “We can try again for a girl!”
OH GOOD LORD BOOBS. Thanks for reminding me that I won’t have to deal with boobs!
Twitter: www.mom2nji.blogspot.com
October 1, 2009 at 10:01 am
I have 3 boys and can honestly say boys do rock. The clothes may not be as fun, but boys love their mommies. I am told I am pretty daily. I get snuggles all the time. Also boys are not as mouthy.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 10:07 am
@jenni/mom2nji, Aw, so sweet to be told you’re pretty every day. That alone makes it all worth it! :)
I love the little boys’ clothes. Tiny hooded sweatshirts, tiny button down shirts, tiny sneakers! Oh god, tiny tuxedos! So freakin’ cute.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 12:24 pm
@Erin, Tiny hoodies are THE CUTEST.
Twitter: msmegan
October 1, 2009 at 10:50 am
I so wanted a girl too, but life had other plans. There are down sides, like taking eons to get potty trained (what is THAT about?), but there are upsides, like not having to put up with a the wild hormone swings of a girl at any age!
But the sex talk? All me. However, my son is well aware that the woman does all the work when making a baby, so there’s that.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 12:24 pm
@Finn, Daddy will have the sex talk, Mommy the “respect” talk. Oh yeah.
Twitter: kidthingsnet
October 1, 2009 at 11:23 am
My first 2 babies were boys and even then I thought, boys are awesome! Girls have it SO hard growing up, boys not nearly as much. When my 3rd, and last baby, turned out to be a girl of course I was excited. But my boys will always be MY BOYS. And there is just something special about that.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 12:27 pm
@C @ Kid Things, It seems to be the general consensus that girls have a harder time growing up than boys. But all of the comments today have been from women! I wonder if there are male readers who would disagree?
WOOOOOOOHOOOOO for 7 more weeks, I had my first boy at 35wks, my second at 38wks and my last boy 40wks and 5days. All but the middle one I had girl on the brain.
Boys are fabulous and they can totally drive a pink trike!
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 12:28 pm
@kyooty, 35 weeks! I would not be ready in two weeks. Yikes.
@Assertagirl, I wasn’t ready for mr 35wks but hey you just do what you got to do and they fit out that hole better.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 4:45 pm
@kyooty, A solid point, you’ve made there.
Three boys…Best snugglers in the world! Although my 17 yo and I go at it? You will never have love like that of a son and mother, I’m convinced. I have six brothers and I think they were more devoted to Mom than my sisters and I. I worried that #3 was a girl, although that’s what my husband wanted, and was relieved when he was born. I wouldn’t trade being a football-lacrosse-little league-martial arts-mud puddles-wet dogs-smelly fish-anything-can-be-turned-into-a-weapon mom for anything in the world…
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 12:30 pm
@Janie Woods, All those sports must get expensive! We’re hoping our son will be into soccer or baseball, some summer sport. Because hockey in the early morning Canadian winter is SO NOT COOL!
@Assertagirl, never did hockey because of the $$$. The junior league here was $1000 JUST FOR REGISTRATION!! That didn’t include equipment, the travel costs, the tournament fees, etc…yikes!! At the time, we had just moved and hubs was unemployed so it was a def “no”…then the oldest lost interest in it.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 4:46 pm
@Janie Woods, Wow, I knew it was expensive but that’s more than I thought! Our neighbour’s two sons play and we started noticing lately that already they’ve been gone weekends on tournaments.
I only have one child, a boy, so I don’t have comparisons, per se, but oh this little boy of mine. I also thought I was carrying a girl and was surprised to find out I was having a boy (making the ultrasound tech check twice), but I honestly wouldn’t trade it for the world. Boys love, love, love their mamas. I watch my brothers with my mom and they are so protective, so supportive. My boy is sweet, sensitive, and loves to tickle and wrestle. I have to say that every time I see a 12-year old girl wearing a mini-skirt, glitter eye shadow and rolling her eyes at her mom, I’m happy I have a boy :)
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 12:31 pm
@Katie, our ultrasound tech typed “BOY OH BOY” on the screen when she printed our photos for us, so I think she was very certain she was correct!
You just reminded me of another plus: nobody to share my makeup with!
I wanted a girl soooo bad, so when I was prego the first time, we had an ultrasound and I found out I was having my girl. I was thrilled! Girl came and we dressed her in all pink and ruffles and I stepped back up to the prego plate 2 years later. We decided not to find out what we were having. During labor, I completely forgot that I didn’t know what the sex of the baby was. I already had my girl, so i could have had a pit bull for all I cared. Baby came out (well, actually was sucked out by the vacuum, I wasn’t very good at the whole giving birth thing) and the doc says “its a boy.” I had no idea what to do. Blue?!?! Weird. 5 years later, my boy is the most amazing, awesome, and loving GIFT I could every imagine. Girls are fun, but BOYS are truly wonderful. He is loving, sweet, thoughtful, caring, FUNNY, tender….the list goes on.
You will adore having a son! Congratulations!!
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 4:48 pm
@Jenn Parke, Thanks for sharing! If he comes out a girl, I’ll be really messed up. Fortunately, though, there’s no mistaking that ultrasound “money shot.” He didn’t leave much to the imagination, if you know what I mean.
Real men wear pink. That’s what I tell my boys!
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 4:48 pm
@Secret Agent Mama, I’ll have to tell my husband you said that.
Twitter: velocibadgerGRL
October 1, 2009 at 1:15 pm
I had a somewhat similar experience. My husband was 100% convinced our baby was a girl, and even though I tried really hard to think of the baby as “it” or “he or she,” I found that by our 20 week ultrasound, I’d slipped into thinking of it as she. I had, in my head, picked out curtains for the nursery. We had the perfect name. For all my efforts, I had fallen into thinking my husband must be right…he was so certain.
And then, of course, it turned out we were having a boy, and for a few days I was a little let down. But now, I’m actually really looking forward to it. As much as I thought I was prepared for and wanted a girl, I realize now I am much better prepared to mother a boy. And I know I’m in the minority here, but I LOVE little boy clothes, even if it is really hard to find them without sports, cars, camo, or puppies on them.
I can’t wait to come back and read all the comments :D
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 4:49 pm
@velocibadgergirl, Do you think we slip into thinking it’s a she simply because WE are “shes”?
Twitter: shaunaglenn
October 1, 2009 at 2:47 pm
You know I had 3 girls first. So I was very familiar with pink, frilly things and humongous hair bows. And then… I had my boy. And let me tell you, I would take 5 more boys. He’s going to LOVE you like no one has ever loved another person. Boys do that. They’re pretty special. I’m happy for you, girl.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 4:51 pm
@Shauna, That’s the part I’m looking forward to the most, I think, just the addition of some love into our household and little family.
My husband and I pictured our life with little girls from the beginning. And my darling man is just a little bit swishy, so I was SURE we’d get girls (though I realise this has nothing to do with how things actually work when procreating) so when we found out we were having a boy, I admit I felt a bit let down… I thought, “Really? A boy?! A BOY!! I have no idea what to do with a boy…” And then of course, he arrived, and was perfect in every way, and I cherished my little baby boy with all my heart, and thought, “man, I would love another little boy – that would be perfect!” Naturally, we had a girl next… (she’s delicious too.)
What I really wanted to say is that there are LOTS of great clothes out there – I was daunted at the beginning too, but there’s a ton of stuff that just RAWKS!! Dress him like a hip little dude… just like daddy. There’s plenty of stuff without dinosaurs and puppies and crap like that on it. I promise.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 1, 2009 at 4:53 pm
@grumble girl, Yeah, I’ve found some awesome stuff at the local consignment shops. A couple of the little shirts I have for him to wear next summer look like something Charlie from Two & A Half Men would wear. LOVE them.
Twitter: alotofnothing
October 1, 2009 at 7:55 pm
When I found out my oldest was a girl, I was OVERWHELMED w/ joy. I drove to work, announced to my friends that she was a she, and then my heart dropped to the floor.
I was going to have a 12-year-old girl in 12 years.
THAT freaked me the EFF out. Still does.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 2, 2009 at 1:40 pm
@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing], I know what you mean…babies only stay babies for a short while. Then they turn into children and teenagers and well, you know. A teenaged boy is going to live in our house someday. WEIRD.
Twitter: motherbumper
October 1, 2009 at 8:20 pm
G tends to love her boys clothing more than girls (exception: PRINCESS which makes her momma cringe).
Boys AND girls rule but cuddly little boys are the bomb (I’m glad a new one for me to cuddle is on the way… yeah Katie, that’s not creepy at all)
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 2, 2009 at 1:41 pm
@katie ~ motherbumper, I can’t wait for you to cuddle our little dude!
I actually love boy clothes! I catch myself commenting on how much cuter they are than girls clothes all the time but of course, the grass is always greener!
Another positive, if you have a little girl later she will always have a big brother to look after her. This will be especially helpful when she is a teenager :)
Good Luck and SLEEP as much as you can for the next 7 weeks!
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 2, 2009 at 1:41 pm
@Kacie, thanks for the advice! I’m going to have a nap in a minute, actually. (Don’t you wish you could bank sleep?)
Dude!! It took me awhile to be “excited” about having a boy too. I was SURE it was a girl, I had dreams of girls, I had shopped for girls. Take comfort that clothes for boys are way better now than 5 years ago (I know I shopped for nephews). Also I have a boy just 5 months ahead of you, you can learn from all of my mistakes. I am your roadmap!
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 2, 2009 at 1:42 pm
@Jen, Oh mama, you know I’m going to be bombarding you with questions!
Twitter: alimartell
October 1, 2009 at 9:28 pm
when Josh came out with a penis, I was shocked. seriously shocked. I always thought I would only have girls…because that’s what I knew. but, Amy, I’m telling you, boys are awesome. There no DRAMA. They are more physically challenging, but they are not emotionally challenging at all. I LOVE that I have a boy. also? I am thrilled for Gabe that he has a son. You should have seen the look on his face when HE saw the penis…hahah.
Twitter: Amy_Urquhart
October 2, 2009 at 1:43 pm
@ali, I know Graham would have been happy either way but I’m really thrilled for him, too. I can’t wait to see them together.
Awe. I have three girls. Best little ladies in the world, but I wonder what would it be like to have a boy…
Twitter: claritychaos
October 2, 2009 at 11:25 am
hey lady — i’ve got myself THREE little boys over here, and it is great fun. It’s stinky, mind you. But a lot of fun. And screw Target. There are great clothes for boys out there – mine are always in bright colored solids and stripes with the occasional bob the builder or thomas shirt thrown in, of course. And don’t forget pirates — plenty of skull and crossbone threads out there. :) good luck with your boy! I hear they grow up to treat their mamas well.
Twitter: Al_Pal
October 2, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Awww. ;)
I’m not a momma [yet?] but I adore my nephew. Also, Hot Topic has baby clothes with music themed prints [punk, Bob Marley, etc]…sometimes on clearance for way cheap on their website.
& threadless.com has a LOT of great stuff! :D
Twitter: Melissa Siig
October 3, 2009 at 1:50 pm
I felt the same when I first found out I was having a boy. I was raised in a household of women and was practically a second mother to my youngest sister, who is 12 years younger than me. So I knew nothing about little boys. What do you do with penises,I thought? But boys are wonderful and when I deliverd a girl the second time, I thought, “What the hell do you do with vaginas?”
AHEM…best reason…potty training thru about first grade…everytime your son goes #2…”DADDY!!! WIPE MY BUTT!!!!”
Best advice? If he uses a pacifier, let his wife wean him off of it! Yeah, he’ll give it up on his own, but answer shuts up all the damn do-gooders who wanna interfere.
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