Here’s something they don’t tell you how to deal with in parenting books – what do you say to your 5-year old son when he goes rummaging through your purse and pulls out a tampon, then holds it up inquisitively and looks at you and asks, “Mommy, what is this for?” This happened to me [...]
Filthy
We all have dirty little secrets. Mine’s filthy – inside and out, but mostly inside. It’s my car. It’s bad. Sometimes it smells. Even my daughter, who has been known to paint her arms and face with ketchup from her plate, struggles to maneuver herself over shoes, socks, artwork, toys, sippy cups and muffin tops, [...]
Aiming Low Tips: How To Travel as Cheaply as Possible
Flying is really sort of expensive. Did you know that? Something about the idea of defying gravity in a gas tank with wings is so cool that we pay ridiculous amounts of money to do it. And it becomes costly. Even if you don’t buy the $9 cocktails, the $3 blanket and the $13 piece [...]
Your Tummy is STILL Fat
My stepmom recently left a copy of US magazine at my house. I usually reserve my celebrity catch-up reading for the doctor’s office, but having recently given birth, I was very compelled to read about how celeb moms are under such pressure to lose their baby weight and of course, all about their personal dramas [...]
New Low in Pediatric Dental Care
My kids are generally quite open and honest. This is good because they are incredibly inept at lying. A prime example comes in the form of my son, the emotional pendulum known as Thing 2, when it comes to brushing his teeth. If he has cleaned his crooked off-whites, it’s all sweetness and chubby angelic [...]
Cheetos are a food group in my house
When you have children in your life you learn a lot of information very quickly. -That you’ll never sleep again -How to change a diaper without being covered by the goods that your babies ugly bits produce -How often your baby spits up -How much spit up covered laundry you do each day -The weekends [...]
Revenge. She will be sweet some day
So, as much as I love my kids, I have figured out that THEIR love for me is not equal to mine. In fact, I sort of doubt the existence of their love AT ALL. Because no one, NO ONE, should get as much joy out of embarrassing me as they do. And humiliation? Thy [...]
What Will Happen When I Have Pregnancy Brain?
Sometimes when I read over my Tales From La La Land blog, I wonder if my Aiming Low friends think I’m full of shit. Planning menus, running half marathons and discussing how I simply can’t have laundry sitting around or dishes in the sink, hardly reeks of Aiming Low. But, I have always felt like [...]
My Daughter Is Trying To Kill Me
Yes, that is a totally sensational post title, reminiscent of one of my favourite guilty pleasures: British Tabloid Headlines but OH MAH GAWD, I think it might be true. She is trying to kill me and make it look like natural causes. Here is my proof: Hallowe’en has to be one of my most favourite [...]
