My Son, the Dog

threedayweekend2Ben is my impossible eater. He happily eats macaroni, fruit and grilled cheese. That’s about it. Maybe, ravioli if the wind is blowing in the right direction. Occasionally, a carrot or pea enters his system, but it’s a very rare occurrence. Getting him to eat anything he doesn’t want to is pure torture. Because of this, I’ve resorted to some pathetic ways of nourishing him.

Some days, I can get him to eat chicken or lasagna by pretending he’s a baby and spoon feeding him. Or I tell stories and make him take a bite in between words. We’ll listen to music and eat when certain words play. I’ll try anything.

Last night I was at my wits end— none of my usual tricks were working and the kid hadn’t eaten all afternoon. I’d made tortellini, and there was spinach in it. The horror. Evan happily shoveled them in his mouth, as he does with every morsel of food ever presented to him. Lily ate her 13 and was on to her strawberries and banana. Ben was in minute 17 of his hissy fit and I had a pounding headache. I picked up his plate and was about to chuck it in the sink and shoot myself send him to bed. For some reason, my desperation led to me to ask “want to be a doggie and I’ll feed you on the floor?” His eyes lit up and he nodded yes, sliding onto the ceramic tile. I proceeded to feed him his entire plate of food. Spinach and all. It was a miracle.

I knew that it wasn’t the wisest parenting move, but he was eating spinach for crying out loud. I stifled the voice in the back of my head warning of inevitable repercussions and patted him on the head. Go me!

Sure enough, he bolted down from bed this morning barking and asking for waffles on the floor. Silly boy, that’s a deal I’m only willing to make for vegetables.

This works!  We tried it!  Thanks so much Jill, for your totally amazing Three Day Weekend submission!  You simply must track down Jill, at her hilarious parenting blog, Scary Mommy.

About Guest Writer

Would you like to be a guest writer at Aiming Low? We offer keys to the Cool Kids Club and empty promises of fame and fortune. Find out how to get your hands on all that here.


  1. bj says:

    hey…whatever works! Let his wife break his bad habits!!!

  2. Karen says:

    BJ…great comment!

    Twitter Name:

  3. Katie says:

    Spinach in the belly outweighs hands and knees on the floor in a list of pros and cons!

  4. Have you tried any of the “sneaky chef” tactics to get healthy food into your son’s diet? I use them on my wife, a grown woman who for years refused to eat anything green that wasn’t Jello.

  5. Robin says:

    Oddly, I feed my cats at the dining room table.

    j/k we don’t have a dining room table but we probably would if we had one.

  6. Christy says:

    Just wanted to say – GOOD FOR YOU! Also, I just found this site and I am so glad I did. I shared it with my readers too. Check it out –


  7. Whatever works, dude.

    Twitter Name:

  8. AMomTwoBoys says:

    BRILLIANT! I love it!

    Twitter Name:

  9. Jill says:

    That reminds me of the part in “A Christmas Story” where the mom tells the little brother Randy to show her how the piggies eat to get him to eat his dinner.

    The things we do to get food into our kids!

    (Any ideas on how to get my 8 year old son to stop using his clothes as a napkin?)

    • cindy w says:

      @Jill, That’s exactly what I thought of too! The kid with mashed potatoes & meat loaf all over his face, and his glowing mother saying “Mommy’s little piggy!” while the dad & older brother look horrified. Awesome.

      Twitter Name:

  10. I too have a very picky eater – he is 5 years old and for his entire eating life I can list on one hand the items he will eat. The only thing that has enticed him to try new things is when the doctor told him he had to eat more. I like the doggy idea, though. Does that mean I can take him outside to pee too?

    Twitter Name:

  11. AJ says:

    My son will only where underwear with puppies on them right now. His (3rd) birthday is Monday, guess what he’s getting so I don’t have to do so damn much laundry? More puppy underweary!!!

  12. tara says:

    heh. i’ll have to remember this one.

    Twitter Name:

Speak Your Mind