What the HELL is that smell?
Have you ever walked into your kitchen and had that thought?
Not in a good, pot-roasty-bbq-garlic-gingery-yummy way.
In a SOMETHING-HAS-DIED-IN-HERE way.
Or opened your fridge to see something that MIGHT have at one point in time MAYBE been something in the food column but has been downgraded to compost…or, at best, a weapon.
Not that any of those things has EVER happened to me.
Today.
However, YESTERDAY is another story!
When I followed my rapidly-shriveling nostrils to the shelves where I keep a basket of potatoes I found my culprits. At first? I poked around in the basket and they seemed fine. But then I picked up a few of them and realized they were sitting on ANOTHER BAG OF POTATOES.
Oh. My. God.
The stench was only overshadowed by the liquid goo that had settled in the bottom of the bag.
For real, I was this {——} close to having some homemade vodka.
So, in this infiinite moment of wisdom…the old gang here at Aiming Low has decided to come out of the closet and share with you…our faithful readers….our FORGIVING readers some of the best of best that we found in our kitchens.
For your viewing and gagging pleasure, I give you:
“Martha Stewart Would DIE, pt 1: Food”
Anissa – These beauties were in my fridge. I don’t remember buying cherries, but luckily we’ve only been IN our new house about seven weeks…so at least I know they’re less than eight weeks old. That’s a FTW, right?
Tena – My moldy cantaloupes….which is not code for “boobs”, although similarly shaped. These melons have FAR more hair than my boobs…but what with gravity being cruel to me, I’ll take what I can get and if not having hairy boobs is it, I’m good with that.
Meghan – I’m (in)famous in my family for shoving things to the back of my fridge and forgetting about them. I do it ALL. THE. TIME.
Allison – My cat, Sanchez, gets hot as balls in the summer. He is extra super furry and we got him last July. This photo was taken soon after we got him. He very quickly learned that the fridge A) had delicious treats and B) was cool. I literally can’t turn away for five seconds before he is ass deep in there.
As a bonus point, the lettuce is brown.
Jen -When we bought our house we did some minor price negotiating. I was livid when the previous owners decided to include the fridge in one of their counter-offers. I hate this fridge, it is a side-by-side and you can fit nothing in it. For this reason we keep random things in the drawers to keep them out of the way to leave room for the important stuff like Reeses and beer. This jar of cheese dip got left in the drawer, for like 4 months, its not pretty people and it smells even worse.
Heather – BUGS IN DA FLOUR! I don’t bake. The only reason I had flour was to make gravy. I think they’re dead. They are throughout the flour as well. Maybe I’ll make Mike throw it away.
Maria – Eleventy-Billion dollars to the person who can identify WTF is in that spot. And WHY is there a space that small anyways?
Angie – It’s Shepherd’s Pie from about 4 (maybe 6) months ago. At the top, you can see that the tinfoil has attached itself to the cheese. And yes, it’s still in the fridge.
NOW, it’s YOUR turn!! Go ahead, you know you have something you’d like to share. Blog your photo and share your link…cause, really? Who could resist the temptation to look? And YES, this is going to be an ongoing project…be prepared…next week we’re doing bathrooms!
About Anissa Mayhew
Dammit, I should never have thrown away that liquid lettuce before taking a pictue of it.
Twitter Name: Amy_Urquhart
And I think we learned a valuable lesson here: Everything serves its purpose. Even nasty lettuce.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Or be like PW and take pics of EVERYTHING.
Twitter Name: alotofnothing
I got rid of most of the gross things I found when i was making cookies last week but I just came across some more mystery leftovers last night and now the huz and I are having a Mexican stand-off over who’s going to clean it up.
Twitter Name: izzymom
It’ll sit in there for another two weeks, won’t it? Pay one of the kids!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
GAG. Just as horrible as I imagined. We’re an awesome group.
Twitter Name: AMomTwoBoys
We are an AWESOME writing team!! As for our fridge maintenance skills? well, we specialize in OTHER things.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
I just puked in my mouth a little. I still love all you beeshes, though!
You love us, but now you’re scared to look in our fridges, aren’t you?
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Hell yes. This is my type of linky.
Waiting to see your picture!!! *taps toes impatiently*
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Yes, the shepherd’s pie is still in the fridge.
Twitter Name: alotofnothing
*weeps* I love you for so many reasons
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
I um…OMG….that was pukey.
PUKEY!
Twitter Name: barefootfoodie
Aren’t you glad that we didn’t have 17 pictures to post?
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Uh, ladies? I don’t normally do this but I think I need to be pimpin’ my Tupperware client at you because seriously? All y’all got some STORAGE issues happening there.
Side note to Angie: my hub will eat your Shepherd’s Pie. When you grow up in Soviet Russia with food rationing, you learn that mold is merely something to be scooped off…like the roe in a female lobster, or the seeds in the middle of the cantaloupe.
Um. I might have some cheese your husband can have too. It borders on being a really gourmet bleu cheese!
Tupperware! What a perfect matchup. I don’t think they’d touch us with a ten-foot pole though. HA!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Apparently, my grandma grew up in Russia too b/c she scoops out the mold from the Cool Whip before putting it on the pie.
In other words, DO NOT EAT AT MY GRANDMA’S HOUSE.
Twitter Name: alotofnothing
Dude. Your grandma’s sort of hard core, huh?
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Mayo has old packaging. Like before they added the ‘Real’ in the title.
Twitter Name: alotofnothing
NOTED!
Twitter Name: izzymom
Dammit! If I’d known this post was coming, I totally would’ve taken pictures of the liquefied zucchini I found at the bottom of the fridge drawer the other day. Instead I just threw it out & tried not to throw up in my mouth.
Twitter Name: poobou
If you’ve ever had to take out an entire fridge drawer to dump something in the trash so that you don’t have to touch it?…we are your kind of people.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Wow we are totally gag inducing. I also already have my picture for next week. Awesome! I love the cat in the fridge, we totally shut our cat in our fridge once without realizing it. She was in there for like 30 minutes. Whoops.
i was loading my dryer this AM and had to unload it because i totally thought i heard my cat in there. HEH. FAIL!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
I was just about to each lunch but now I think I’m going to go rub myself down with Clorox instead. Eep.
And this is Part I? Oh boy.
Twitter Name: bookishpenguin
Part 2 is going to be pictures of bathrooms!! so, prepare yourself and get your camera out.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
My booze cabinet is immaculate!
Twitter Name: mamaspohr
it’s because it’s the most used part of your house and dust never has time to settle. My fridge? could go unopened for DAYS.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Unopened for days? Then how do you get to your beer?
Twitter Name: mamaspohr
Oh the vodka is in the FREEZER.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Damn! I shouldnt have cleaned out my fridge yesterday before I took a picture of it! I think there are some moldy strawberries in the thrash. wanna see?
Twitter Name: VampireSmitten
Heck YEAH! We want to see!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
anyone up for some FURRY strawberries?!?
http://i27.tinypic.com/2zg6q0k.jpg
http://i32.tinypic.com/20gb392.jpg
Twitter Name: VampireSmitten
gross, huh?
Twitter Name: VampireSmitten
Those are NASTY!! I love it!! LOL
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
I say soy sauce in that little space
You *might* be right..I’ll have to get confirmation from Maria…maybe she can lick it and see. HEH.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Heather, just a tip, if you don’t use your flour very often you can keep in the the freezer, prevents the bugs from forming.
I laugh because you can see just how much her flour means to her!!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
So did you know eggs have an expiration date? Yeah, totally didn’t occur to me until like 3 months after I bought them.
http://bit.ly/b1Jet
oh god. GAG!! You should save those until someone REALLY pisses you off. They have, like I said, become a badass weapon.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Let’s talk about the smell in my car eminating from the half-full cup of milk I found under my seat…
ohhh! I have had that happen more time than I can count….or opened a sippy cup to pour out the contents and it came out in CHUNKS.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Confirmed. We are gross.
Twitter Name: mariamelee
but in a good way, right?
OR NOT.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
this post made me SO squidgy! i’m too ocd to even be on this site, i swear. but i can’t stop reading you guys – you’re hilarious!
you know you love us for your squidgy ways! we sort of go hand in hand with craftastrophes if you ask me. which you didn’t. but still.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
fridgetastrophes! :)
I fall more in the HOUSEtastrophe category…I think I need you to come to ATL and fix me
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
lol. I so can’t handle posting my fridge! I’m too scared to even look in there most days, it needs a good cleaning and emptying.
HEY! If you do yours, will you come and do mine?
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Let’s see – JUST last night I threw away moldy sour cream and humus.
Tonight I’m hoping to get the nerve to finally throw out those limes. But *shudder* going near them is terrifying.
Twitter Name: missbritt
You really need to take a picture of those limes and link them up for us to enjoy!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
I should have waited another day to clean up after our not-a-pet mouse – those pictures would have been way more disgusting than the one I ended up using!
This is why I TOTALLY have all those pigs. All those leftovers in pictures you have? Yeah, I gots ‘em. They go to the pigs. Waste not, want not. And then I don’t feel bad about throwing out all that food I save for later and never eat.
Will pigs really eat a body? Cause I saw that in the Hannibal movie and thought “wow, that’s handy”
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
vomits
psst. eeew and i love y’all
I just cleaned out my fridge the other day and didn’t think to take pictures of it. There were some rotten figs to be had and some condiments from at least 3 years ago. I also cleaned out the freezer and tossed 3 bags of hot peppers that I’d shoved in there last year. They might have been salvageable, but I doubted that they’d be very good anymore. I just tossed them in the backyard in this half-assed compost pile that I have going. What I did not toss was a piece of our wedding cake that’s been in the freezer since June 17, 2006. ;-)
Listen here! Do not walk…RUN and take a photo of your bathroom…I have a feeling you got a good story there. Then link that badboy photo for next week, k?
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
I love Ali’s cat in the fridge! Heather- I’m afraid that those are not bugs but mice droppings- is that possible? Regardless, this entire post is repulsive and we should all be ashamed of ourselves. However, in our defense, this was after we got home from Blogher and the male of the species were in charge of the houses for 3-5 days and the contents in the fridge! I, personally, feel lucky that my house was stil standing and my kids were not malnourished (completely).
Twitter Name: tenakim
Having worked in kitchens all my adult life I have it on authority nothing in the world stinks like rotten potatoes. Not A Thing.
Good work, ladies. Good work.
Oh my GOD, is your cat in your fridge? Bwahahaha.
The only area where I don’t aim low is my fridge. I have a super sensitive smelly nose and if food goes bad, it makes me gag.
I love though that you posted this with NO SHAME!
I would have to disagree with Julianna’s comment about the potato stench being the worst. After removing the crockpot of chicken noodle soup that I vaguely remember cooking up Mother’s Day weekend from the fridge the other day, and allowing it to sit on the counter unnoticed for 2 more days, I have smelled aromas that no person should ever have to encounter.
Then this morning I found some old oatmeal in the microwave that I forgot to eat last weekend. You would be surprised how badly 6 day old oatmeal can make your microwave stink.
you girls are beautifully disgusting. I might be able to come up with something for you…
I’m a total slacker in every other area of the house….but I don’t forget food in the fridge! I actually have a slight obsession. I check dates on the condiments like, every other day. And I only save leftovers for maybe three days. Oh! And we have to eat leftovers in the order in which they were made. No skips! So. Uhm. Yea. I know.
Twitter Name: give_me_a_latte